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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I bloody hate sleepovers

45 replies

mrboingboing · 05/06/2021 19:16

Seriously, why does it turn them into wild animals? 1 8 year old and 2 9 yr olds. I try to avoid them but really thought I ought to return the favour.

It's the shrieking, jumping around, slamming doors and general over excitement that drives me insane.

Roll on tomorrow morning.

OP posts:

MoiraNotRuby · 05/06/2021 19:59

My parents were reluctant to let me have friends over so I am the opposite with my DC. Some of their friends have been better guests than others, I never drank if I had other people's kids here just in case they wanted to go home.

Now my DC are teens they organise everything themselves. Its nice they have friends, I am painfully aware that not everyone does.

My advice for 8/9 year olds is to be fairly strict, they still need their boundaries. Provide 'midnight feast' as soon as its dark - cookies, popcorn and milk better than sweets and squash.

Remind them where toilet is and how they can get you in the night.

Ask them to get into PJs before the feast.

Get them to have a group photo to send to their parents to say goodnight.

Then prepare for them being up and down for a while.

Good luck

Hallyup6 · 05/06/2021 20:04

Two years ago, my then 8 year old daughter wanted a sleepover for her birthday. We'd just moved house and we had crap everywhere so I put her off. Last year I was grateful that covid cancelled all sleepovers. Now it's somehow almost her birthday again and she's come to me today asking for a sleepover... I feel guilty but I so can't be bothered with it!!

isthismylifenow · 05/06/2021 20:21

I had 3 x 18 years olds last weekend. I can assure you that the noise level does not decrease over the years.

It was arranged so they could have DMC (deep meaningful conversation). Oh please. The screaming and yelling was ridiculous (why can't they just laugh normally) and then after an hour I said I'm not recording one more attempt for the tik tok video. I went to bed and they watched horrors all night. So I suggested the next attemot for a DMC night to be at someone else's house.

I think they tried on every item of clothing from dd's cupboard and cleared out the food cupboard too.

Sigh.

They had a blast though.....

isthismylifenow · 05/06/2021 20:25

@Armi

I’ve agreed that DD can have one for her birthday this year (restrictions permitting.) What do they actually do? Do you do craft stuff with them, or watch a film? I have visions of four ten years sitting looking expectantly at me.

Nah don't bother arranging anything, just let them get on with it.

What do they do?.... Make a lot of noise and your DC bedroom will look like a bomb had hit it.

Top tip. No-one goes home until the room is tidy.

Itstheprinciple · 05/06/2021 21:10

My DD is 14 now so pretty much sorts herself out. She is at her friend's house for the second night running. They actually sleep though now. It's more like they are just living together rather than the novelty it was when they were younger. One of her other friends has just confessed in the last couple of weeks that she doesn't actually like sleepovers and they make her anxious so that's fair enough.

Deadringer · 05/06/2021 21:18

I hate them! My middle dd is the quietest of my dc, but lord her friends are noisy. Shouting, laughing, banging doors. All. Night. Long. Despite being repeatedly asked (nicely) to stfu. Never again!

Armi · 05/06/2021 21:23

@isthismylifenow Thank you!

KurtWilde · 05/06/2021 21:36

Currently hosting the 3rd sleepover of the week. I don't mind it at all tbh, they've had pizza and they're now making up dances 1x 11yo DD, 2x 10yo friends. Much noise and laughter from her bedroom. Mind you we're a large family so I'm used to the chaos of multiple kids 😆

reluctantbrit · 05/06/2021 21:40

We only do it with girls my DD is friends with for years and they know that they can come and ask for everything, even a journey home at midnight (just once though).

It gets easier the older they are, I just had a 13 year old and they cleared the living room of rubbish and glasses before making they way upstairs and were ok with me asking for quite by 11pm.

At 9 I once had to threaten them to sleep separately in order to get peace at midnight.

ShinyGreenElephant · 05/06/2021 23:39

The shrieking coming from my garden is unreal I'm going to have to take the neighbours flowers round tomorrow. Forgot how loud gangs of girls are

lechatnoir · 05/06/2021 23:56

I honestly don't mind them but DH hates them. Agree with previous poster about starting the bedtime treats, pjs, wind down etc waaaaay earlier than you'd imagine as it take far longer to actually switch off with multiple over- excited children. Now they are secondary school age I leave them to it - I'll get them pizza and popcorn and bits for breakfast but everything else is up to them so if they want to stay up until the early hours stuffing themselves with sweets so be it but with the following rules:

Don't keep us awake/wake us up
Tidy up everything in the morning
Don't be so grumpy the next day I regret allowing the sleepover

My eldest has a regular group of mates he hangs out with and frankly I'm happy to let them all hang out here as I know plenty of teenagers prefer the local park getting up to all sorts. We tend to go out for dinner if they're all there as five 15/16 year old boys are bloody loud and smelly!!

The only way to survive a sleepover is to remind yourself they're hanging fun, grit your teeth and just leave them to it.

ShampooForMyRealFriends · 06/06/2021 00:08

I haven't experienced this from the parental side (yet), but when I was about 10, I had a sleepover for my birthday with six or seven other girls. We were likely as lively as eight 10-year-olds can be expected to be, but at some point something tipped my mum over the edge and she wound up screaming at me in front of all of my friends. It completely ruined my party and my birthday, and I was humiliated in front of all of my closest friends, who also wound up thinking my mum was terribly mean and didn't really want to come over anymore.

To this day I can't understand why she couldn't just grin and bear it for one single night. If you agree to host a sleepover, you should know what you're getting yourself in to. It's just not on to lose your rag at a bunch of kids just having fun.

CurlyMango · 06/06/2021 20:57

We host and let them get on with it. Have had all sorts of mix of ages and sexs. If you won’t/don’t host that’s a giant shame,

ItsReallyOnlyMe · 06/06/2021 21:03

A friend of mine had the right idea for getting a group of 12/13 boys to sleep. When it reached that time in the evening /night when it really was time for sleep she threatened that if they weren't quiet she would come in and sleep next to the noisiest boy.

She ended up doing just that, and funnily enough she never had a problem after that.

cappuccinoandcats · 06/06/2021 21:06

DS went to a couple and was horrendous the next day. Incredibly tired and mardy.
So haven't done any since !

BetsyBigNose · 06/06/2021 21:52

I love hosting sleepovers for my DDs, always have. I used to run the Rainbows and Brownies, so dealing with groups of girls comes easily to me and I'd always been keen to be "The House Where Girls Have Great Sleepovers"!

My rules have always been: 1) remember your manners, 2) be kind to everyone, 3) if the grown ups become aware of any "Midnight Feast" activities, the spoils must be shared with us!

My girls are 12 and 14 now and the main thing I've learned from many years of "sleepovers", is that they should always happen at the beginning of a week off school, cos there's usually very little sleeping involved! My 12 year old and her friends were out at the park at 8am on Monday morning, having been awake all night playing Mario Kart!

AvonCallingBarksdale · 06/06/2021 22:17

I’m not a big fan but have done lots over the years. DS had 10 boys “sleeping over” in a tent for his 10th birthday. That was horrendous. DD had 8 staying on her 12th bday. Very screechy. DS is 16 now and they’re not a “thing” thank god and DD’s are much more chilled and impromptu which is fine.

Xanadu7 · 07/06/2021 06:42

I won’t have sleepovers until my children are Upper-secondary-school aged. They accept that. Being a survivor of child sexual abuse myself (from a teen “boy” when I was seven, and a grown man when I was ten) I won’t have them in vulnerable situations.

PiuVinoPerFavore · 07/06/2021 06:58

My DD and her bestie love sleepovers, and always on at me. I tolerate them. My issue is that the other parents never, ever reciprocate. Not once in 5 years of friendship and I'm now so pissed off I'm pushing back on having them too. They have family close by and free time is more frequent for them but some of us rely on sleepovers for nights off!

Goldenbear · 07/06/2021 07:15

My DD, 9 actually types up a plan for the evening as I find they get a bit bored and she doesn't want to play Roblux all night like one of her friends is happy to do. I took them with me to the supermarket to sort snacks and dinner as I had been to busy with work all week and they persuaded me to buy a clay model making cat figure craft set! I had already picked up some special pens to create designs on blank t-shirts. To be honest though the planned one with a film thrown in was much better than the night of 3 girls doing whatever came in to their heads as one said to me she couldn't sleep at 3am as she doesn't 'enjoy sleep'. I said I very much did like sleep when I had been working all week and started to fall to sleep leaning on the bunk bed standing up! I would agree though that this is part of the sleepover lottery with children happy/not happy to sleep.

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