Need advice bedwetting child

[mamma2013]

Hope it's ok to post here I'm going out of my mind.

My child is turning 7 soon and is progressing with toilet training, I have absolutely no idea why.

He was born with a condition with his kidney but its something they can grow out of and havent had any indication it's still an issue so I cant help feeling this is a red herring.

He was a very difficult child to train in the first place, used to wet all the time in school until year 1 when lockdown started and since then he rarely wets himself in the day and if he does it seems to be purely due to the fact he has chosen not to go find a toilet during break or something.

Nightimes though are going backwards. During lockdown we really turned a corner from accidents most nights to maybe once every couple of weeks. Then slowly over the last couple of months I've noticed more and more until the last few weeks it's literally every night again.

I have tried giving him plenty of water during the day, avoiding juice where possible, less drinks from 6pm (although I'm suspicious he sneaks off sometimes in the night and gets water from the tap which I cant stop), reminding him ALL the time to go have a wee during the day and especially the last few hours before bedtime, last night my husband even woke him at 10ish to go again and he still wet the bed.

Any other ideas I can try??? I cant see how an alarm would help as he would just sleep through it and am nervous about medication for it as surely that cant be a long term solution?

Have you looked at the advice on the ERIC website?

Hi OP, it must be so frustrating.

I used to wet the bed until I was about 10/11 years old.

From the age of about 9 I was under the care of the enuresis team and they tried lots of behavioural technique plus using bed wetting alarms and medication. Absolutely nothing worked.

Then for no known reason it just stopped. It was really odd.

What I will say though is that I doubt he would sleep through an alarm - it sounds as loud and as high pitched as a fire alarm

Hi, I went through this with my daughter. She used to wet the bed right up until starting high school and had an impact on her confidence. (Not able to go to sleep overs etc).
You must get in touch with the school nurse who may be able to advise and put you in touch with the local continence team.

Some children wet the bed because it cannot be helped and it can be hereditary (if you or the father had it as a child)
The continence or bladder team/ school nurses may be able to prescribe desmopressin to switch off the hormone causing the bed wetting. There are also alarms which wake them up too.

I would speak to them as soon as possible as there may be a long waiting list.

An alarm worked for my deep sleeping son. Really worth a try.

Thank you all, I will get on it.

We used an alarm with my 8 year old and it worked really well. We had to buy one but you might be able to borrow one from the health visitor.

The wet alarm works when the kid's body is potentially ready to link the urge to pee with waking up, like to make it a habit. If his body and mind cannot do it, he cannot get into this habit and the alarm will result only in disturbed sleep.
"he has chosen not to go find a toilet during break or something"... no kid likes to wet himself, I highly doubt it's a choice. From what you have written he could be constipated or his bladder could be too small and/or weak, or too deep sleeping, there are many causes for bedwetting and accidents during the day, many of these are just "natural" causes that doctors would not consider a problem until at least 8yo. I mean, you are right looking for a way to stop it, but I would be very careful to not think it's something he has control or he can handle better.
He could be very embarrassed about it, even not showing that, and anxiety make bedwetting worse, so making a big issue about it makes it much worse.
You can try everything to stop it (like I did), but if his body is not ready, nothing can stop it. Only you know if it's time to look for a treatment or if it's better to keep the pull-ups and wait for the natural end. In your case I would be sure he is not constipated, then I would try to reduce the stress to the minimum and I would not consider this as a serious problem.

I think night time dryness is all down a hormone being produced - See Sarah Ockwell Smith’s book on Gentle Potty Training. Bed wetting up to 7 or 8 is apparently still within the ‘norm’ as some children don’t produce the necessary hormone until later on. It may well be the case for your child.

For us we found our sons nightlight was actually the problem. No idea why??? As soon as he slept in the dark without any light the wetting stopped.

Second the suggest to contact ERIC (the children's bowel and bladder charity).

Nighttime dryness is hormonal so medical treatment for it is perfectly appropriate. Most doctors will be reluctant to prescribe hormonal treatment to very young children so they don't usually start that until after age 7 or so, but it is nothing to be frightened of