I live next door to a couple who have a toddler and one on the way. We say 'hello' but wouldn't say we are friends.
We live in detached houses, but the gap between the houses is very small and with windows open you can hear a lot of their conversations.
I am concerned at the way they talk/shout to their little boy and the way they talk, read 'shout' at each other, to the point that I had my parents in my garden last summer and my mum was shocked at the way they were screaming at the little boy-it was bedtime.
Whenever I see the boy he is clean, well dressed and appears well cared for but it is the emotional side of things I am concerned about and as I don't have children myself I am worried that I may be over reacting and would appreciate some external opinion on whether this simply sounds like a variation in how couples communicate and parenting styles...
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We moved in 5 years ago. Few weeks in I Heard the woman sobbing so loudly she was choking, really distressing to hear. Initial thought was she was alone and had received bad news. Went to go round there to check all OK then heard doors slamming, shouting so obviously an argument so didn't go round.
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Their toddler obviously has a difficult bedtime sometimes as he shouts/cries a lot around that time but you can often hear them stamping up the stairs to him, really fast, open the door and shout at him to 'SHUT UP' or 'STOP CRYING' on more than one occasion. This obviously increases his crying and it sounds like they're trying to intimidate him by stamping up the stairs then upsetting him further by shouting at him.
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When they were potty training him, I heard the woman shout at him on more than one occasion 'WHY DIDN'T YOU GO IN THE POTTY?!' and then did later on praise him for going in the potty.
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Every 10 days or so they have a blazing row, door slamming, front door slamming, shouting and screaming at each other, she gets extremely worked up and ends up sobbing until she' s choking and gagging and the little boy I've heard crying and asking his mummy if she's okay, before being (I assume) taken away by his dad.
And now she's in the early stages of pregnancy with another baby (she showed me her scan picture as she came up her driveway) and I can't help but think that maybe the Health Visitor could benefit from offering a bit of support? Or an extra visit to check all is well?
Like I said, the little boy looks well cared for but it is the ferocity of the tone of their voices when they talk/shout at the little boy that really upsets me. I can only liken it to if you were being threatened by another adult, and you were using a tone of voice to try and warn them off, its very aggressive and rough and I would expect gentle and kind and soft?? I appreciate that everyone has an end of their tether but for 5 years this has been a regular occurrence.
For context, I work in an acute mental health unit, I'm used to screaming, shouting, swearing and generally upsetting behaviour, but when I hear this couple it makes me sick to my stomach and anxious that something is going to escalate and ill have done nothing.