To charge my partner rent?

[roomfulloflove]

My partner and I would like to live together. I've found a house in a location suitable to both of us. From my divorce I'm able to buy the house by myself, and my brain (rather than my heart) knows that's the sensible thing to do.

We've talked about him living with me there and he said he'd pay rent.

It certainly seems the right thing to do, but I feel really uncomfortable about it, like it will change the whole dynamic between us.

Is anyone in a similar situation where they've done something similar?

I bought my flat, my partner moved in. I let him know how much mortgage and bills are and divided by two (he now actually pays 2/3 but that’s because he earns significantly more than me, as you earn the same you can split equally). Yes it’s a bit awkward and unromantic to let them know the amount (I showed the breakdown on a piece of paper so it was nice and clear!) but once it’s done that’s it. Isn’t mentioned again! There’s absolutely no way I’d let someone live with me rent-free!!

Mine paid his portion of the utilities and council tax until we got married, there was no way I was risking someone paying rent and gaining a financial interest in my home if we weren’t married. So he paid 1/2 of council tax and 1/3 of everything else. You also have to consider that they have no security, so they could become homeless with a seconds notice, where as a tenant or lodge would have security enabling them to find suitable housing if the relationship ends.

@ScaredOfDinosaurs

If he pays rent to a landlord who lives in the property, that makes him a lodger only which means OP could boot him out very easily if she ever wished to do so.

Ah good. I'd personally ask for less than the market rent as he should benefit financially from sharing with you too.

We've been together 2 years. Originally we were talking about me buying somewhere and him renting nearby. But at this stage I would much rather live with him.

We did talk about sharing a mortgage, but he is paying off debt, so I said I'd rather wait until that is cleared, then consider buying somewhere bigger together at that stage.

I do feel a bit better about talking about it all with him from these replies thanks

Tricky one, you understandably don't want him to have a claim on the house but also not to be ripped off like so many women are.
I'd charge him 50% of all bills. All of them, house insurance, water pipe cover, window cleaners as well as the big ones.
I wouldn't charge him rent but I'd insist he puts an equivalent amount into savings. Something locked up like a 5 year bond. That way your conscience is clear and he's protected. You're no worse off.
Deciding how much - I'd work out what half of full rental rate is. Then I'd work out the amount of bill free spending money you both have. And level up.

How come if he pays rent or can argue that he contributed he can make a claim To the property and yet sahp cannot. I see it on here over and over that she walked away with nothing. Is it literally the money matters, raising children doesn’t ??
Sorry to derail.
I would get proper legal advice. Why risk it. Of course he’s fabulous now, it’s honeymoon phase. Always plan for the worst but people are feeling their best. It removes the chance of malice.

I am in two minds on this. If I were him, I’d be happy to pay a friend rent if I were staying with them because it would undoubtedly be a short term thing. But for my partnership, no I would not put myself on such an unequal footing, where I am paying half the mortgage effectively but never accumulate anything of my own. If my partner did t want to find a way where I could also be working towards my future financial security, then they would not be the partner for me.

“But” should be “when” sorry

Yes but paying rent April might be ok and acceptable to him because he has debts and knows he can’t commit to a mortgage.

At any hint of irritation at paying rent. He’d be bye bye because no one lives for free. He would trying it on to fleece you,

I’d just ask for half of food and half of bills but day to day living bills like water and council tax, not bills which go towards maintenance/upkeep of your house/asset.

Yes of course he should pay rent and half the bills. You will end up not respecting him at all if he doesn't.

no one lives for free

It might not be your personal choice but yes, they do.

It comes across like you want your cake and eat it.

If he pays you rent, it means you are treating him as a lodger, except that you really wanting him to move in with you is because of the feelings you have for him and the intimacy you want to share 24/7. That's not a lodger deal.

By him paying rent, you want to profit from him. You want the security to call the home yours only and for him to have to stake in it, you therefore should pay the full mortgage and agree to share the bills. This is how the legal system sees it too to an extent as if he can evidence that he's paid 'rent' for years, the court might see it as a contribution towards the mortgage rather than rent and consider he has a share on the property even without his name of the deeds.

I certainly wouldn't be charging him market rent while you're paying off your mortgage. Obviously he should be paying half the bills and perhaps making a contribution to upkeep but I wouldn't want to profit from him living there personally.

Also, surely he wouldn’t want to live there without contributing anything anyway? I’m sure he has some level of self respect and would be happy to pay his way in some form or the other! 🙂

Firstly, in your situation (post divorce), you absolutely should be able to have pragmatic calm conversations about money/ contributions/ co habiting agreements etc.

If there is a negative reaction (of any sort) from him, that’s a red flag. Adults who move in together should absolutely be able to talk about finances etc openly.

Secondly I would not let someone live for free, but nor would I want them contributing 50% as over a period of time that would result in them having a potential claim on the property. Fine if you have the cash to pay them, but if not that can trigger a house sale (one of my friends has just had to do this after an 8 year relationship ended, no children).

Personally? I would get a cohabiting agreement drawn up. One where he pays an amount he thinks is fair but with no claim on the property. They’re very straightforward to draw up.

I think any decent partner should want to pay rent to you in this situation.

Presumably the only place he will have previously lived rent-free is when he grew up in the family home and paying half your mortgage and bills is bound to be cheaper than paying full rent and bills by himself in a comparable property.

There's definitely a period of relationships where you should "try before you buy" in my mind. I.e. try living together before buying property together.

Part of living together very much includes how you deal with the finances. If he's in debt because he spends all his bill money each month on booze then you need to know that before buying a house with the guy!

I had a lodger agreement (as in contractual) with my now DH

We were happy with it as he wanted me to be protected and also to contribute

He paid £600pm for all bills ex food
Going rate to rent was around 800 and his previous rent was 1k so he saved and I wasn't 800 short (had previously been renting a room)

Most importantly, it worked for us

Do you have children?

Otherwise, bills 50/50

An amount towards upkeep that is half what he would pay if he rented alone in your area.

You should both benefit financially from sharing.

OP pays for renovations etc. If he wants to buy extra things, he pays for furniture which is 'his'.

Most importantly, it worked for us
But legally useless. You can't draw legal lodger agreement with a partner....because well, they are your partner, not your lodger and the relationship is completely different.

In the end, what matters is that both agree that the arrangement works for them. If your OH was happy to pay towards your mortgage so that you profited from him whilst he had everything to lose, that's absolutely fine and in your case, it worked out anyway.

I made it very clear when I moved with my OH that my payment was not rent but a contribution towards the mortgage with the expectation that my name would go on the house or we'd get married anyway. He understood that and also thought it fair. We too got married, so it wasn't an issue.

Living together should benefit both of you. It wouldn't be fair for you to profit financially by having him pay off your mortgage while he doesn't get to save for his own place. Likewise you don't want someone living there creating wear and tear and not contributing. Obviously he'll pay half off all bills in terms of what he pays on top of that, I think that depends on the two of you. Is he likely to be contributing to the house by doing DIY and decorating etc?

He definitely should be paying less rent living with you than he would be for a private place (probably less than half). He doesn't get to choose the house or have the same security as he would in a private rental. He's also your partner not someone to profit from.

I don't ever understand the logic of the comments on these threads.

Person A buys a house - it's not stated whether outright or via a mortgage, so I'm going with a mortgage. Person A wishes to keep the house as their personal property and safety net - not a problem

Person B moves in.

This is a long-term relationship and presumably equal. The board say Person B should be saving his portion of rent money to buy his own house - why?

What we've actually established is Person A shells out for a mortgage, Person B gets oodles more disposable income.

In my world, it's 50/50. If A and B were renting the landlord would be paying his mortgage. If Person A you had a tenant in the spare room there would be rent charged. The fact A and B are swapping bodily fluids does not absolve B from paying his way.

Hark! I hear the cry of 'what if you split up'? B will get nothing. No and B wouldnt get anything from a land lord either.

@TwoAndAnOnion

Your comment is completely illogical. Read it back. It makes no sense whatsoever. Person A isn't a landlord but the partner of person B. A landlord only lets you live in their house because they want to make profit out of you. In a relationship the point of moving in isn't to make profit. They want to live together. It makes sense to share the financial benefit from that. So Person A benefits because Person B contributes to the house in some way (certainly by halving the bills and probably also by mainting the house and paying some money towards it) and Person B benefits by paying less than they would for a private rental. Why should person B have to live in a house they haven't actually chosen themselves and have no security in (if they split they'll have to move out) an still pay market rent while Person A is getting help paying off their mortgage. Completely unequal.

@FortniteBoysMum

Paying rent could be seen as buying into the house. I suggest he pays half bills shopping etc. Personally I would seek legal advice as you may need some form of contract to ensure he does not later try to make claim on the house due to having proof his paid towards its upkeep etc.

It's the opposite, paying rent prevents them from being able to claim an interest in the house.

Why don’t you both just rent before both deciding to buy at a later date? Moving into your house gives him no security and you’re profiting off him. I just think you should be on equal footing from the get go.