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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Blood on DS’s t-shirt - would you find this odd?

33 replies

Phaton · 04/06/2021 23:17

My DS (16) went out today. When he got back he ignored me and DP and went upstairs. We thought this was weird but not unusual bur he normally speaks.

Later I noticed that he put his t-shirt in the wash and it has a bit of blood on. DP asked him why he had blood on his t-shirt and he said he had a nose bleed. DP said that DS wasn't looking at him when he was talking and he then told DP to leave him alone.

Me and DP find this odd (him not looking at DP). Are we BU and would you find this odd?

OP posts:
IveNameChangedAgain2020 · 04/06/2021 23:19

Oh gosh. Please go and speak to him. My thoughts are that he got into a fight or he was picked on. I hope that isn't the case but worth probing a little bit.

addictedtotwopenceslots · 04/06/2021 23:20

Probably a fight yeah

SometimesRavenSometimesParrot · 04/06/2021 23:23

How much blood are you talking?
He’s possibly had a fight or one of his mates has had an accident and injured themselves and he doesn’t want to tell you in case he gets in trouble.
Just remind him that he can talk to you in any circumstances and don’t push too hard unless it happens again.

TotorosCatBus · 04/06/2021 23:23

I would assume a fight too

Original poster
Phaton · 04/06/2021 23:29

There was some at the top of his t-shirt and then a little bit near the bottom so it wasn't ALOT

OP posts:
Soundoftheunderground · 04/06/2021 23:31

Sounds like he’s been in a fight? Did he look like he had been bleeding?

QuiteGood · 04/06/2021 23:40

Could have been a fight, an accident, someone else’s blood, nose bleed, self harm or blood pact. My 15 y o has done the latter (blood pact) recently.

SionnachGlic · 04/06/2021 23:50

It could be a nosebleed...but if your gut is telling you something is off then ask more questions...

ittakes2 · 04/06/2021 23:53

does he have a girlfriend? Any chance it came from her?

Original poster
Phaton · 05/06/2021 00:09

No, he doesn't have a girlfriend as they recently broke up. If we try and speak to him about it he tells us to leave him alone. I'm just so confused as I find it odd how he was avoiding us, if he wasn't I would believe he had a nose bleed

OP posts:
MinnieJackson · 05/06/2021 00:10

Would be normally mention to you that he'd had a nosebleed before you asking? Does he normally put his own stuff in the wash? Sounds like something's upset him.

Nothingyet · 05/06/2021 00:19

Be kind and listen. We have been through this. Just be kind and listen, it may be nothing, it may be something.

toocold54 · 05/06/2021 00:21

My first thought was nose bleed. It could be from a fight but I think he’d have been more honest about it.

kittie01 · 05/06/2021 00:30

I’d reassure him he can tell you anything. It may have just been a scuffle

alexdgr8 · 05/06/2021 00:46

well my first thought, no one has mentioned, so i'm probably way off.
can understand your concern OP.
he was obviously lying, the question is why.
cannot force someone to tell the truth.
don't try. but be watchful. all the best.

IEat · 05/06/2021 00:54

I wouldn’t wash the T-shirt yet I’d keep it in a bag, it could be something sinister that happened, Google local news/police Twitter etc for for incidents. Check his SMoages or his friends SM . Then keep asking, reassure him he’s safe but he has to tell

misssunshine4040 · 05/06/2021 00:59

@IEat

I wouldn’t wash the T-shirt yet I’d keep it in a bag, it could be something sinister that happened, Google local news/police Twitter etc for for incidents. Check his SMoages or his friends SM . Then keep asking, reassure him he’s safe but he has to tell
This is a bit of an overreaction surely?
Campervanna · 05/06/2021 01:26

@alexdgr8

well my first thought, no one has mentioned, so i'm probably way off. can understand your concern OP. he was obviously lying, the question is why. cannot force someone to tell the truth. don't try. but be watchful. all the best.
Think I may have had the same first thought as you!
Snoozer11 · 05/06/2021 01:45

Would he not have an injury or bruised knuckles etc if he was in a fight?

Are you sure it's blood?

RoseRedRoseBlue · 05/06/2021 01:48

@IEat seriously? This isn’t CSI.

Susannahmoody · 05/06/2021 01:48

Surely all this detective work is a bit much? Confused he probably just had a scrap with someone

Snoozer11 · 05/06/2021 01:52

@alexdgr8

well my first thought, no one has mentioned, so i'm probably way off. can understand your concern OP. he was obviously lying, the question is why. cannot force someone to tell the truth. don't try. but be watchful. all the best.
What is your first thought?
Original poster
Phaton · 05/06/2021 08:53

Yes, it is blood.

He wouldn't normally mention a nose bleed but he also doesn't put his clothes in the wash as he then complains when he doesn't have any clean clothes!

OP posts:
PreservativeFree · 05/06/2021 09:25

My DS would be the same and no amount of questioning or "being there" would get him to tell me if he didn't want to.

I have found though that quite often the things he doesn't want to tell me are just a bit embarrassing or akward rather than terrible.

If it was DS, I'd guess he was with someone or somewhere he doesn't want to tell me about. E.g he or a friend slipped climbing somewhere he shouldn't have been.

I've no idea what everyone else's "first thought" was though.

BillyIsMyBunny · 05/06/2021 10:07

My first thought would be self harm but I admit that is because I have personal experience of it. It is interesting how most people’s first thought has gone to fighting and nobody else has mentioned self harm, I expect in a thread about a teenage girl it would be the opposite. That’s not to say he has been self harming but don’t dismiss it as a possibility just because he’s male, I would definitely ensure the lines of communication are open for if he wants to talk and keep an eye on him. I would also discreetly check his worn clothes over the next few days as if it’s something like self harm chances are there will be more blood at some point m, if it’s genuinely a nosebleed it’s more likely to be a one off.

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