To think this probably isn't normal?

[Plonkery]

I get very anxious over a lot of things and I'm starting to wonder if I have a problem, I've always thought this could be considered normal
but feel it's getting worse and I'm not so sure now as DH insists that it's not normal at all.

I can't exactly pinpoint what makes me anxious as it's quite a lot of things but confrontation, of any kind or even the possibility of confrontation, is a big one.

If someone knocks on my door I immediately panic that it's someone coming to have a go about something, if anything minor happens like DH asking the neighbour politely if they can close the communal gate so the dog doesn't escape, I think about it for days and can get quite shakey worrying that it will cause issues.

Our cat got in a fight and came home with a few scratches and now I'm petrified that he's hurt someone else's cat and they will end up banging on our door about it.

Any loud or unfamiliar noises outside our house panic me, I can hear our neighbours sometimes and it sets my heart off really fast.

Another is I'm taking my son back to the doctor for something I think he needs to be seen about. He's been to see the GP about it before who I feel fobbed us off and both myself and DH agree we think he needs to be seen again for a second opinion. I'm really nervous about going. I'm scared they will think I'm taking him too much to the doctor and report me somewhere.

I know deep down it's irrational but I can't help but catastrophise these sorts of things regularly to the point I can't sleep for worrying about it and end up shaking and feel sick quite a lot.

It's not normal to have this level of anxiety. and I'd go to your gp about it tell them what you've posted here. I am battling with this and my GP has referred me to therapy and medicine options too.

I agree with PP, it's not "normal" to feel as anxious as you do, as frequently as you do, however there are plenty of options available to help you to deal with this issue.

To begin with, you need to make an appointment with your GP. I would recommend writing down exactly what you want to discuss with the Dr, as anxiety during the appointment can derail your thoughts, and you can end up leaving before you've had the chance to get to the real reason you're there.

There are talking therapies (CBT, counselling etc.) and/or medications (antidepressants, beta blockers etc.) which your GP may offer you. One of these, or a combination will likely offer you some real relief from the constant state of anxiety you're currently feeling.

Many of us suffer from anxiety - you're certainly not alone (especially after the last year we've all had) - I'm sure if you mention to friends or family how you're feeling, you'll find at least a few have suffered similarly, at some point in their lives.

There is light at the end of the tunnel for you, it won't feel this way forever, you just need to ask for help. Good luck!

Sounds like something like CBT will be beneficial for you. Ask your GP about it.

Hi OP, after suffering anxiety and being kept awake endless nights worrying, I was given an exercise which might help you. Try this-

Write down the worry, the reason, different outcomes, then likelihood score i.e.

Worry- Someone might knock on the door.

Reason- Neighbour saying cat had attacked their cat.

Outcomes-

I apologise and say both cats are to blame -
they'll probably agree, we've chatted before, she seems quite friendly 5/10

I say f-you and slam the door - unlikely I'm not like that 1/10

They are shouting and threaten me -
They are a bit unreasonable but I can't do anything more, if it gets bad I will have to call the police 2/10

No one will knock-
Probably not, the cat came back in a state last month and no one called 6/10.

By writing down each worry and exploring each scenario you are diluting the fear of the unknown outcome and getting a bit of control back.

When I looked back on my lists, hardly any of my worries became reality and of those that did, I was prepared for because I'd worked through the scenarios.

You have GAD. I've had it all my life but I can remember getting these feelings before it got seriously out of control and almost ruined my life. Please see a doctor ASAP.

Sounds like CBT would be really helpful to you. SnoopCatz exercise is a brilliant starting point.

It's not 'normal' but it is common and your GP will be able to point you in the right direction.

Not 'normal' but very common is a good way of putting it. You are able to identify that you are catastrophising which is first step to being able to work on it. If you cannot access one to one CBT - I found listening to audiobooks about it quite a helpful start.

Also how old are you? It can definitely be linked to perimenopause.

Also can you think of a time when there has been actual confrontation? Was there conflict in your childhood for example?

It's anxiety and it's relatively common - more common than a lot of people think.

You need to see a counsellor/ therapist to talk through what is going on and what might be at the root of you feeling this way.

Going to your GP is the first step, although waiting lists for NHS counselling are very long at the moment and when you get there it will probably be 6 weeks of CBT (which may help you with your short term issues but won't solve the underlying problem). That doesn't mean it's not worth doing - CBT could be extremely helpful for you right now.

If you can afford some private therapy though it is really worth it to explore these things a little more deeply.

The GP will also probably offer you medication, which can also be good, but again will not address the root problem in the way that therapy will.

I have similar anxiety levels related to confrontation. I assume the worst of the person who's confronting me or the person I am confronting. I assume it extends from my childhood with my narcissistic father - any reasonable request could become an argument. Even the most innocent comment could be taken as an insult or accusation.

I'm aware of why I do it and rationally force myself to confront things but I always feel it and I hate it. I hate he's done that to me and my sister (she's exactly the same).

Sounds like generalised anxiety disorder- I have had it all my life. It absolutely exploded during my second pregnancy and I became very ill. I ended up paying privately for therapy.

There is lots of help available. It might take trying a few different therapies to get what works for you. I had CBT and EMDR which was ok, but the.lb had IEMT privately and it was absolutely life changing. For the first time ever, I feel like normal people do.

A bit of anxiety is perfectly normal, the level you are operating at, is not.

I hope you manage to find something to help, it really is debilitating x

Similary anxiety levels here - CBT helps a great deal and I made progress. Not yet to the point where I don't give a f, but close

My DM does this and has been seeing a counsellor about it. Its helped her to realise an event in her childhood was the trigger for this and she's working through it with the counsellor, and a low dose of medication.