Are these red flags?

[gelatodipistacchio]

I can't tell.

I have a possible crush on a co-worker. This happens very rarely.

Co-worker seemed to be annoyed about how something worked out. Said "I'm not trying to cast blame, but how did this happen?" I explained, it was dropped, no issues. But there was an obvious question of how an issue happened. This seems potentially dickish, but also sensible from an institutional standpoint?

I'm probably pretty uptight. He's more... familiar? But also accessible.

I think we have a connection. It's all confusing to me.

I'm just somewhat confused about everything as a single mum who's also not from the UK originally.

I can't see any "red flags". Are you suggesting that a co-worker is a dick for asking you how something happened even though they a) needed to know how it happened and b) explicitly clarified that they weren't trying to assign blame?

@UnfriendlyFriendly I'm asking whether anyone perceives it as dickish.

I'm out of a terribly emotionally abusive relationship and I really fancy the co-worker! I'm just afraid I lack good judgement about men.

[quote gelatodipistacchio]@UnfriendlyFriendly I'm asking whether anyone perceives it as dickish.

I'm out of a terribly emotionally abusive relationship and I really fancy the co-worker! I'm just afraid I lack good judgement about men.[/quote]
No - how could it possibly be perceived as dickish? I can't see anything remotely wrong with it. Truthfully, it doesn't sound like you're ready for another relationship if you're already in that headspace with this person.

@UnfriendlyFriendly probably not! But I left my ex almost 2 years ago and this guy is the first one I've been interested in since then. The problem I guess is that my ex was terrible - and has been cutting me down lately -and I'm trying to learn how to even think about a new man without being terrified and feeling like I'm shit and worthless.(tbf he is always very respectful and treats me like an intellectual equal)

It's a terrible idea to pursue a relationship with a coworker, especially one you work closely with.

@suspiria777 of course! But we only with together short term. We talk once or twice a week in a sort of executive capacity.

*work

Red flags for what?
You do not have a connection with him.
Learn to be on your own.

@Advic3Pl3as3

I know this all sounds a bit silly. I'm sure he's interested based on his conduct though!

It depends what the issue was he could have been completely reasonable.
I think it’s good to be on your guard but don’t let it consume you.
Don’t do anything with this guy until just before you stop working together and then do something about it and until then you can decide if there are any more red flags.
Most guys that are abusive are lovely at the beginning so i wouldn’t let that situation put me off.

I think that this is why many say that you should not mix work and pleasure.

I don't think he sounds like a dick. Work is work.