For context we've been together 15 years and have a 4 and 1 year old. I work 25 hours, dh is full time.
Dh has a low sex drive. I used to have a high drive but not anymore. We haven't had sex for a month.
I was on late shift yesterday but wfh from our bedroom. During my 30 minute break at 19.30 dh comes in and lies next to me on the bed. I'd done 8.5 work by then. He looks at me and says 'do you want some sausage'. Mate. No. He was put out amd didn't expect me to say no. I said I appreciate you initiating it but after sitting in a chair for over 8 hours with 2 hours left to go I, 1) needed a shower 2) sex was the last thing I wanted.
I said we could have a nice night tonight, it's a rare day we're off together. He then says 'oh there's a county cup final tonight, I want to go to that' so off he pops. He comes home and we go to bed. I come in the room second after going for a wee and he's just laying there naked. Like wtaf. I'm so sick of just feeling like something he has at his disposal when he gets the urge.
I love sex, I really do. But aibu to hold out for better sex given our life atm? It's just so clinical and like 0-100mph.