Can I, should I be assessed for autism as an adult?

[Morningstar66]

I'm in my mid 30s but have always wondered if I have ASD or something similar. My wider family have long suspected my Dad of having aspergers and I do rather take after him. I voiced this to my sister once and she laughed at the idea and said 'you are not autistic' (no experience in the area) which I found annoying as I've always had to work to appear normal in my own eyes and she's always found life so easy in a way I never had. Navigating social situations for instance.

So I'm asking if any of you have any experience with late diagnosis or not and what traits made you get tested. I'm aware there are no typical symptoms and women can be harder to spot.

As it's likely some people will likely ask, my own experience is this.

Find eye contact and hugs uncomfortable. I make myself do it.

I'm quite gullible taking people at their word and they have taken advantage of this. Particularily in school.

Rich inner world to the point of almost maladaptive day dreaming. can completely ignore the outside world even when someone is calling my name.

Generally feeling very out of my depth in social settings. I'm quite introverted.

Little obsessions that have lasted for decades. Favourite shows etc.

My husband says I'm the least touchy feely person he has been with.

I'm sure there are more. I'm otherwise a a perfectly functional human. Two children, married. Sahm but worked up until three years ago and applying for work again.

Hi op, I'm not really going to be of much help as haven't seeked a diagnosis yet but I am in a very similar situation to you so just thought I'd let you know you are not alone. My two dc are both autistic. I knew little about autism beforehand but now it's starting to make sense for me. I think I could be autistic too.

Like you, no one is taking me seriously.

Back when I was a child I guess it was still a taboo and not spoken about so much and my mum just thought I was a but strange (in her words). I've never met my real dad but my mum says I remind her of him and I've heard that autism runs in his family. It must be genetic for me as my two dc are both autistic and my eldest is with a different father to my youngest.

I've always felt different even at school. Like you I don't like affection, eye contact, I need routine, I'm obsessive and very socially awkward. I can feel empathy but I really cannot express it and people think I'm 'cold hearted' a lot of the time.

I'm not a fan of online quizzes which predicts a diagnosis but I did find some really useful quizzes on autism in adults. It's screenshot on my old phone but I think it was called an AQ screening test which was very thorough. My score did say that I was likely to be on the spectrum. I haven't took it further due to covid and waiting lists etc but I may do one day if I get the confidence. I hate going to the doctors.

💕

I was diagnosed as an adult. It has been somewhat of a relief and I feel more self acceptance and hate myself less now.

Yes, you can.

Should you? That depends on what you hope to gain from being assessed.

i think the question of what you hope to gain is important.

I don’t have ASD, but my son does. My experiences with my son led me to addressing some serious issues with a new member of staff at work. We ended up supporting him through assessment.

At 26 he had never held down a job, had few friends, and being gay and to be blunt very fat, had always felt like an outsider and the local weirdo.

Diagnosis brought profound changes to his life, he no longer saw himself as weird, it gave him a confidence to strike out from a very narrow minded community to an absolultely out and flamboyant gay man. He absolutely found his tribe. It was lovely to see.

My son is 16, I dont want him entering adult life thinking he is weird or odd. I’m glad he knows who he is.

Hi OP, I recently sought a diagnosis of ADHD as an adult, so although not ASD still ND, it feels as though a veil has been lifted that obscured and hindered my life. I feel as though I can now express who I am and know how to better adapt my life.

However, I have had some backlash from family and friends so perhaps be prepared for that.

Theres a very long running thread about exactly this in speacial needs with lots of useful input. Can someone link?

I feel I probably am but see no benefits to diagnosis. The DVLA thing a few years back, even though they backtracked put me off ever having an official autism diagnosis recorded anywhere.

Thanks, it's so nice to see others have the same experience. My 3 year old is showing (stereotypical) signs but tbh he is so lovely and his little quirks just remind me of the things i used to do, i'm not particularly concerned.

As to why i should? I think a pp said it best. It would explain a lot, i would stop feeling so strange if i had an explanation, it might help my self esteem. I could use a diagnosis to help with finding some techniques to help day to day.

Its strange, in some ways i am very empathic. always worried about how i make others feel, fear of offending but i am very aware that my barometer in this regard is really off and it has caused problems or i have simply distanced myself from people i think i have offended when in hindsight i was worried about not much.

On the other hand i really struggle to sympathise with people. I express those feelings but its very much repeating what i think i should say/have heard others say, it isn't genuine at all. I really struggle with messages in cards, all i can think is 'what would a normal things to say be' I have an active imagination so putting myself in in the role of someone else can help, it just doesn't come from my own personality.

I've realised writing this that so much of my life is performative, especially in secondary school, i was pretending to be someone else/normal. I had very few friends for long periods and while i did'nt mind not having friends, (i don't get lonely really). I did mind not APPEARING to have friends to others as it marked me as strange and unlikable.

Wow, its so nice to say this (write this) out loud. I've never really spoken to anyone about this and indeed i would be very conscious of boring someone with the me me me stuff.

I would really be interested in that thread if anyone has a link.

I have for some years suspected this of myself, through my personality traits and also I have done many questionnaires (myself, nothing official) and my scoring suggests as much.

I have never pursued a formal diagnosis, because I do not know what use that would be to me anyway.

Bloody hell, I am on another thread about my DH who has some difficulties. I've just googled and filled in the AQ test. On his behalf I got him 37 out of 50, 33 is the benchmark for autism or significant autistic traits. I got 12 for myself.

Found it!

I've wondered a lot myself in recent years about seeking an autism diagnosis, but haven't because I'm not sure what benefit I would get from putting myself through all that. I'm 56 though.

I've just accepted that I probably am on the spectrum somewhere and embraced it. I get on with enjoying my special interests (horses, musical instrument, land rovers and anything red) and to hell with what anyone thinks these days. I feel liberated. It's a big relief actually not having to pretend to be something I'm not anymore to fit in. It's probably enough for me, I don't go round telling anyone I'm autistic or anything.

My mother should have done something about it when I was a child, there were enough signs then (by modern standards) re food fussiness, aggression to my brother, meltdowns, preferred to be on my own with a book etc, but back then in the 60s/70s there wasn't the same awareness and only the very worst cases would be diagnosed I think. There was also as far as she was concerned, a stigma about having a child who wasnt "normal".

OMG just whizzed through that AQ test, scored 47/50 😱