To stop training upper body because of PT comments

[Roundtumble]

So I was training upper body with my new PT yesterday and mentioned that I don't want to bulk up or build my arms/shoulders/trapeziums too much but I do want to push myself to my limits and see what my body can do if I stay consistent. I really do enjoy working out and lifting heavy weights and only want to build on my strength and technique over time. My problem is that I'll go hard at it for a good few months, get to a good place and then get complacent and I'm back to square one all over again. It's a never ending cycle- hence the investment in a personal trainer.

He mentioned that my traps( the muscles on either side of your neck joining the neck to the shoulders) are already pretty developed in a "sorry to say" type way I guess seeing as it's more of a manly trait to have developed traps and if I lift too heavy I am going to get too big. It made me feel very self conscious and got me looking on IG to see if I could find other women into fitness with developed traps. They are not huge by any stretch but you can notice them.
Body wise I am a definite endomorph with an hourglass shape ( when it's not covered in fat) so I can gain muscle quite easily.
Do I stop training upper body so as to prohibit my traps from growing any further or ignore the comment and carry on?

I'm very conflicted now. I want to challenge myself and get fitter and stronger but I also don't want a bulky upper body.

Anyone out there with advice?

Thanks in advance

Find an amazing female PT and sack this one. He's not for you. Twat.

Yellowscallion I’ll have it thanks! Especially now when I don’t have the time to train, you’re the best

I don't want to bulk up or build my arms/shoulders/trapeziums too much but I do want to push myself to my limits and see what my body can do

This seems like a contradiction.
Surely if you push yourself to your limits then you will build up muscle.

If you want to tone then don't lift weights to your limit and do more reps.

I've been going to a boot camp thing and it's great, but the trainer wanted me to use heavier weights. While I could lift them and really, really push myself I'd much prefer to use lighter ones and do the reps smoothly without my eyeballs popping out.

I run, swim and cycle and really love my toned upper body, but I'm not training to be a shot putter!

I don't want to bulk up or build my arms/shoulders/trapeziums too much

Did your PT know this?

@TheOrigRights what you've suggested - low weight with high reps - is actually what bodybuilders do. To a greater extent then what you're doing, sure, but to keep hypertrophy (muscle growth) low it's actually better to do fewer reps of a heavier weight.

It is possible to build strength and not add a lot of muscle - just look at climbers for their strength to size/weight ratio. However for some women, adding any muscle feels like too much - it's personal preference.

[quote Itwontstopraining]@TheOrigRights what you've suggested - low weight with high reps - is actually what bodybuilders do. To a greater extent then what you're doing, sure, but to keep hypertrophy (muscle growth) low it's actually better to do fewer reps of a heavier weight.

It is possible to build strength and not add a lot of muscle - just look at climbers for their strength to size/weight ratio. However for some women, adding any muscle feels like too much - it's personal preference.[/quote]
Oh, well that's something new. Apologies for the misinformation.

I don't know what I am - I'm very slim, but have really defined arm muscles. I have tried to increase my strength exercises to give my body more overall stability when I run (and reduce injury risk).

May I add on the “I don’t want to bulk” issue:
Unless you are on a very specific billing diet, stuffing yourself with proteins and training 5 days a week (or more) chances are you won’t bulk no matter how hard you try.
Women who put muscles super easily are not the norm, especially past 30, hence why testosterone abuse is rife amongst female bodybuilders (plus other various substances). There is NO CHANCE you can become massive unless you really want to, and you have hired a coach who knows his / her shit and makes you eat a specific diet to size you up. Otherwise forget it!

Billing? I mean bulking diet

Look for Poorna Bell on IG.
She does great posts on power lifting & body image.

@YellowScallion

It's incredibly hard for a woman to get 'bulky'.

This reinforces the message that it's not womanly to have muscles. It's hard for some women to gain muscle, less so for others.

No, it's just ordinary science. I'm a competition weightlifter and we have competitive bodybuilders and powerlifters at our club also. "Bulky" means to gain new muscle, larger muscle, additional muscle. It is not what you get simply by working out, in which the muscle you have becomes more honed and stronger - newbie gains - but you will not grow noticeably larger without a calorific surplus and stressing the muscle to the extent you encourage hypertrophy.

Bulking up is hard. It takes the effort to lift heavy, to target the muscles correctly and to eat a calorific surplus day-in, day-out. Men can find it challenging but women more so, because you're looking at less gains for the same effort. Obviously it can be done, but it takes time and effort, it takes knowledge of the particular program you're following for your goal - are you aiming for strength in the Big Three? A bodybuilder's physique? Olympic lifts? Different lifts, different rep/set regimen, different programming required.

It doesn't happen accidentally.

First sack your PT!!

Even you don't want to bulk up your upper body, a bit of muscle is both healthy and good-looking, especially as one gets older.

I'm a huge fan of Caroline Girvan. If you follow her EPIC programme you will build balanced strength and look great. You don't need to use the heavy weights she uses - I'm using 8 and 15 lb dumbbells and I feel great!

Your PT sounds like they are working towards their own personal preference for aesthetic rather than what is best for you - find someone else with a bit more depth/less judgemental

I feel like I've been misinterpreted. I'm very pro-strength training for women. I don't see a woman with muscle as 'bulky'. Woman can definitely have muscle and that's just being physically fit. To truely 'bulk' up takes an enormous commitment for both men and women. The Rock didn't just do a few shrugs and now he's 118kgs, that took 20 years of working out almost everday with extremely heavy weights and a very carefully managed diet. I honestly can't think of a woman of the top of my head who looks bulky. Gina Carano looks amazing, if that's bulky sign me up plus I would also like to be able to crush my enemies with my biceps.

The Rock didn't just do a few shrugs and now he's 118kgs, that took 20 years of working out almost everday with extremely heavy weights and a very carefully managed diet.

Don't forget the copious amount of steroids he used. Nobody looks like that without them.

I feel this PT is getting a hard time for actually listening to OP's aims/dislikes and making a relevant comment. It is OP who has assumed he thinks big traps are for men not women. He was assessing her body against her list of "don't wants". He might think big traps are fabulous on women but is focusing on OP's aims.

Another vote for a different PT. There's a vast range of capability and it can take a few goes to find the one who's right for you. I know that 'sorry to say' tone and it's bad form, especially for a first session. You should be coming away feeling good, informed and motivated, not extra self-critical and needing to ask other people for work-out tips!

I don't get the criticism of the PT here. He seems to have just been listening to what the OP said

My traps have developed quite a bit and I really like them! I purposely do exercises to train them (and everywhere else) I just think they develop first on me (and you). Don’t be ashamed of them! I am really pleased with how my upper body has come along, it’s just a shame my middle is a mess! If I stopped eating crap it might help (pre-menstrual here 😭)