Is this possible regarding house and marriage?

[Houseinthecountry]

Hi
I need some advice!

My partner and I plan to get married and as we can't afford a big mortgage due to the number of rooms we will need for our blended family, my partner's mum suggested she sign the house over to us, and we build an annex and pay the mortgage on that.

The problems we have, are in order to do that, I would need to put in 200,000 to his mum, as my share of the house in case we ever split, meaning I'd get a fair cut if back if we had to sell up and to protect my partner not losing out on his inheritance.

My mum was planning on giving me money towards a deposit, but nowhere near that amount, and I don't have that sort of money either.

I suggested that if we get married, we get a legal document drawn up so as I have no claim over the house if we split, but get whatever I've put into the mortgage including deposit etc.

He said it wont hold up in court. Is this true? We dont have children between us and we wint be having any either.

Many thanks

Ask a lawyer

The document needs to be drawn up when you put your deposit in, not when you get married. You will need legal advice on this so there's no deception when borrowing. He can ring fence what he puts in and have a document drawn up that means on a split the house stays in his possession. This wouldn't stand if you then had a child together. That's probably why he thinks it won't stand up in court.

you could get a prenup? a solicitor is probably the best person to advice you on this as it doesnt sound like a straight forward sort of arrangement.

There are possibly other remedies OP but you do both need legal advice.

Hypothetically for example;

1. you could own the house in unequal shares (aka tenants in common). Your DH could have an equity % to the value of the house pre mortgage and you share the post mortgage and improvements increase in equity between you.

1. Pre nuptial agreement

These measures will not remove the Court’s right to take all assets into consideration on divorce in case of need. Case law suggests the Courts will be reluctant to set such agreements aside if the parties have signed their agreement following legal advice and before their marriage.

Please seek legal advice.

So where would his mum live?

I'd run screaming from anything like this, tbh.

I think it could be a disaster.

It would be a hard no from me I’m afraid. This has disaster written all over it. If you are even considering it then seek your own legal advice to protect yourself and your children; they stand to lose a lot.

It doesn't sound, well, very romantic.

It sounds as though you're being used for 1. him to get on the housing ladder and 2. his mum to get out of paying for care in her old age.

take a step back, see where the marriage plans go, see what he actively does to promote the marriage.

If you divorce and he claims his mother and your children as dependents, and/or cites his mother's (therefore his) contribution to the pot, he could be allowed to remain in the family home whilst you are off renting.

Do not do this. No, no, no.

I really wouldn’t be blending families with a man who thinks it’s okay to ask a single parent to stump up £200k for the privilege.

How many children are we talking about?

Op this sounds.... fed from ideal.
For the children mainly
Just date him FGSand wait until children moved out. No upheaval for anyone. And none of this stress

You might be better seeking the advice of a real lawyer rather than consulting the law of mumsnet.

You need to see a lawyer but also a financial advisor, what will you do if you split up? If you don’t already own a house I assume you don’t have a pension either - it does all sound a bit worrying so please get it sorted.

@Sometimesfraught82

Op this sounds.... fed from ideal. For the children mainly Just date him FGSand wait until children moved out. No upheaval for anyone. And none of this stress

Actually, this is a good and sensible idea.

Carry on dating till the kids have left home. Where is he currently living?

I think don't get married and don't move in together. Definitely don't move in with his mum!
If you don't get married it will be easier to keep your finances separate. There's no particular point to getting married if you aren't going to have children and if you are both in a position to keep working.

If you aren't already all living together, it might not work, I say don't commit yourself. Blended families are really hard. Much much easier to date until children are older.

Going into a marriage thinking you are likely to split is never ideal. Blending children like a cake mix is often not ideal.
A resident ageing parent might create tensions.

Why are you thinking of marriage?

Op this is going to end in a nightmare. It would be a miracle if it didn't.

Financial risks
Elderly care issues (what happens when his mum gets old and needs her own funds to pay for care, or expects you to do any caring?)
Blending a family together is often challenging yet in this scenario you're adding another generation on top

Normally the best advice is for couples to marry if you want financial security (not always, if you have assets to protect, but usually). In this case there are so many risks and red flags.

Stay unmarried and uncomplicated. And if you do go down this (mad) route, seek proper advice from a lawyer and financial planner. What you pay in their fees will pale in comparison to when this inevitably turns into a living nightmare.

I wouldn't do it personally. Also, you'll need to get a mortgage for the £200k in your name and MIL wants an annexe building which needs another mortgage. How is this possible?

You probably need to be earning at least £50k to manage this. I think a property lawyer and financial advisor could help you work out if this is feasible.

Like others have said, also think about MIL needing care in old age. Will it be your job? Will the house need to be sold to pay for it? Could it be seen as deprivation of assets?

We have been together a long time and have spent a lot of time together, no real arguments etc. This isn't a 'dating' situation as was suggested.

I have a close relationship with his parents so that isn't the issue. They are trying to help as we can't afford a bigger house otherwise.

Also, to the poster who suggested it isn't romantic, well no one can ever know things will work out no matter how happy you may currently be. So no, not romantic in terms of future finances, but practical as it should be.

Thank you for all the other advice. Have a lot to think about

How old are your children?
How does the actual location suit you and your children?

Blended family, living with a parent, weird home ownership.

You might be fine, but statistically you won't be.

His mother needs to look into 'deprivation of assets'. If she needs care in the future the council may decide that she 'gifted' the property so that the taxpayers had to fund her care. In which case the house would still be regarded as hers and would need to be sold.