Husband leaving, advice needed

[EdenSings]

Apologies for posting in AIBU but I need the traffic. Don't tend to get as much luck in other topics.

'D'H has decided he is leaving, viewing a property tomorrow with a view to move out of our rented home ASAP. I am currently on maternity leave from full time employment with a 12 week old baby. Also have a 3 year old. The children will stay with me. My main question is - does anyone know what I may be entitled to? My money is about to drop from full pay to SMP in the next few weeks. I can't survive on this much. I have done a calculator online which has given me a figure, but does that take into account SMP? I have tried to speak to citizens advice but no available appointments online or F2F. Without making this thread about why we are splitting I'm not sure I can rely on maintenance from him. He's the director of a limited company and I'm almost certain he will fiddle his wages to pay me the bare minimum.

I just need to know I'll be able to survive until I RTW in Dec/January. Any other advice much appreciated.

Start your application for universal credit today. You should be entitled to help with rent, plus you will get money for both children. Have you added your second child to your child benefit claim too?

My husband left when I was pregnant with our second. I am still on mat pay now she is 4 months. You will receive both your mat pay and UC, they will ask if you need an upfront payment as your claim is processed. If he isn't paying you maintenance, get on to the cms. Don't allow him to guilt trip you about this.

You can absolutely do this, its hard but doable. Sorry you're going through this, plus your mum being ill.

yes make your claim asap - you might be surprised - I feel for you - my ex walked out when our third baby was 4 months old - he was feeling neglected and said he didn't feel I prioritised him

yes he was having an affair - what a shock x

You'll be okay OP honestly

@Queenie8

Call JobCentrePlus, you need to apply for child tax credits and working tax credits, universal credit and housing benefit, then call your council and register for council tax benefit, you may not receive this but you will at least be able to apply for the 25% single adult reduction.

You can apply from the day husband leaves, and your claim will start that day, it may take a few days or weeks to receive any benefits but from the sounds of things you will be eligible.

You will need your national insurance number, plus the amounts you have in savings.

One last piece of advice, if you have a joint account you need both of your signatures to close the account. You will also need to get your rental agreement changed to your name only.

Good luck, things feel very bleak right now, but they will improve.

Unless OP is already claiming tax credits, she won't be able to make a new claim. It's all included in Universal Credit now.

Things may have changed, but relationship breakdown always used to trigger a new claim too, if that's still the case, it will be Universal Credit.

SMP will count as income.

You will be entitled to £490.60 pcm for yourself, £282.50 for the first child and £237.08 for the baby, plus your rent, up to the maximum allowed by the local housing allowance for a 2-bedroom property in the area you live in.

The first £293 of your monthly SMP will be ignored, and 63% of the balance of your will be deducted from the total of the elements above.

Whatever's left is how much UC you will get.

Don't forget to tell the council when he moves out, as you will be entitled to the single person discount on your council tax, and apply to the council for council tax support, as you may be entitled to a further reduction because of your income.

Not to scare you but my 5 year old is only just going through the night

Unfortunately it's crap but I think you need to plan to return to work early. Benefits won't pay out on top of SMP to allow you to stay off work just because you want to and doesn't sound like you can rely on CMS

Have you spoken to the landlord about your changed position? Assuming it’s a joint tenancy then each of you ate equally liable for the whole rent. Another reason why it’s important you claim UC as you could get help with your rent. Be prepared for the landlord not wanting you to take on the tenancy in your sole name if you are not working. Worst case scenario is they serve Notice on you to leave. So start thinking about options, including getting on your council housing register as a backup. But if you do get notice to leave don’t panic - many months will pass before the proper legal action is taken to get a court order. You can stay put until there is an order for eviction.

Just added baby 2 to my CB claim, didn't realise I could just yet as she's not registered. They will backdate the amount which will help. Going to do the proper application tonight when kids in bed. Also going to ring solicitors tomorrow for some advice.

Bank statements and payslips all online, wouldn't be able to get access to those without hacking his emails which I'm not comfortable with. No idea if any P60 or anything knocking around. Will look on companies house (it's a legit company) and see returns etc. Not the foggiest what any of it means, mind.

So sorry to hear other women in a similar position. It's utter shit. I just can't bend my head around how men can behave like this. If I decided to up and leave my husband and kids I would be crucified. Plus my conscience wouldn't allow me to do it. So angry he's leaving me in the lurch like this.

For those asking I'm not currently claiming a anything other than CB, I don't think I ever have. Have always worked/relied on DH income. Will be making claim for UC though. Panicking now about the tenancy. There's little in the way of rental properties in my area. Will look into that too. Thanks again all - really appreciated.

If you're eligible for UC then you are more than likely entitled with help towards your rent.

Get in touch with Shelter, they're a charity who give housing advice.

@dane8

I’d presume if you can show you can afford rental then you could stay on. After all that’s all property people want, rent and decent tenant

I’m a landlord and my insurance does not allow me to rent to people claiming benefits. So it’s not as easy as to say landlords only want to receive the rent however it happens to be funded.

If his limited company files annual accounts you should be able to see them online. In the notes to the accounts it will give the annual amount paid to the highest paid director.

The returns to companies house (can't remember the form no) will give changes to director/s and the company secretary.

If there's an ow in his life she might feature there, and the date of appointment might be revealing. Hope that's not the case

No other than advise than what’s been said.
Sorry your going through this whilst your mum has recently been diagnosed.
Wish you and your mum lots of luck!

I would use this time to gather together evidence of his salary and any assets as you might need them later.

Apply for everything including single person discount for Council Tax. Apply for child maintenance.

Ring the utilities and explain the situation. Try and get a water meter.

Discuss his leaving with the landlord who may wait until your benefits come through for the rent.

If you have anything of value I would sell it as you may need the money.

I would insist that he comes and collects his belongings that you have bagged and left by the door. You then need his key. He doesn't get to come and go.

He has made his decision and he needs to understand loss and consequences.

I'm so sorry about this and your DM. I have no doubt that you will be great eventually.

@newtb

If his limited company files annual accounts you should be able to see them online. In the notes to the accounts it will give the annual amount paid to the highest paid director.

The returns to companies house (can't remember the form no) will give changes to director/s and the company secretary.

If there's an ow in his life she might feature there, and the date of appointment might be revealing. Hope that's not the case

The limited company will be required by law to file annual accounts, however if the turnover is below £10 million, most companies with a decent accountant will file 'filleted' or summarised accounts. It won't give details of directors remuneration.

I'm really sorry OP, you sound very sensible & like you have your head screwed on. I hope you get as much as you deserve - & him too come to think of it!

Sorry you are going through this OP, think you are doing an amazing job of being positive

I just had a quick skim but if you didn’t yet you obvs need to make an appointment with a solicitor to agree maintenance payments etc. I know a lot of financial info is online, but he might get a yearly pension statement? Anything you can gather do. Also need to think c when he has the kids so you get a break (important).

Not wishing to add to what is probably already a massive workload but agree with Pps that an earlier return to work would help, so if there’s anything you can do to improve the baby’s sleep (and thus yours!) eg switch to formula or stricter routine, it’s worth looking at (not that anything guarantees it but some things help)

@EdenSings - I'm an accountant. I'd be happy to look his company up for you and see if I can garner any useful information from what is filed.

PP is correct - if it's a small company they're not required to include a lot of information on public record but unfortunately for a lot of people, they use shit accountants who don't understand these rules and often disclose far too much.

If you want to, DM me his company name and I'll take a look.

What a bastard OP - I'm so sorry he's left you in this position.

@HopeHappy thank you. That would be really helpful. This might sound stupid but how do I DM?! I've tried looking on my app but can't work it out. Do I need to be on the full site?

[quote EdenSings]@HopeHappy thank you. That would be really helpful. This might sound stupid but how do I DM?! I've tried looking on my app but can't work it out. Do I need to be on the full site? [/quote]
Tap on the 3 dots under the posters message

[quote HopeHappy]**@EdenSings - I'm an accountant. I'd be happy to look his company up for you and see if I can garner any useful information from what is filed.

PP is correct - if it's a small company they're not required to include a lot of information on public record but unfortunately for a lot of people, they use shit accountants who don't understand these rules and often disclose far too much.

If you want to, DM me his company name and I'll take a look.

What a bastard OP - I'm so sorry he's left you in this position.[/quote]
I've sent you a message @EdenSings - if you're on the web browser it should come up in the MyMumsnet area.

If you're on the app, go to the three lines at the top right hand corner of the "Active" screen then go to MyMumsnet then other settings. It will then take you to the hopepage on the internet.

Hi. I'm a single parent. When my 90% pay stopped whilst I was on maternity leave I applied for universal credit as I needed help with my rent. SMP is not enough.
I was surprised. we basically got the equivalent of my wages whilst I was on maternity leave and now I am back at work I get up to 85% of my childcare costs paid.
As you haven't applied for any benefits before, it won't hurt you to make a universal credit claim.

Bank statements and payslips all online, wouldn't be able to get access to those without hacking his emails which I'm not comfortable with.

I totally understand because you have a moral compass but your husband is a cunt and thinks nothing of screwing you and your children over. Not the time for being the better person. You need to play a bit dirty to get all the information you can. If the boot was on the other foot I can guarantee he would not have the same reluctance.

Thanks all for your updates. Sorry I haven't been on here lately.

I have tried to look into his emails but with no luck, will keep trying. I found an ATM receipt which says he had way over 150k in the business bank account at the end of May this year. Took a pic of that and kept it in a safe place. I've made my claim for universal credit and waiting for that to be processed. He came back a few days ago and said he wanted to stay here until he found somewhere and I told him no. He didn't like that. I am waiting to speak to a solicitor but she has cancelled on me twice so far as she had been called into court. That's all really for now, hopefully universal credit won't take long.

@Danikm151 that's really helpful info thank you so much.

@HopeHappy sorry I've just seen your message. I use the app but I will log on to the safari version to see your message. Thank you.

You can claim from the moment you decide to separate even if you are in the same house. Make sure you do in case of delay.

@Queenie8

Call JobCentrePlus, you need to apply for child tax credits and working tax credits, universal credit and housing benefit, then call your council and register for council tax benefit, you may not receive this but you will at least be able to apply for the 25% single adult reduction.

You can apply from the day husband leaves, and your claim will start that day, it may take a few days or weeks to receive any benefits but from the sounds of things you will be eligible.

You will need your national insurance number, plus the amounts you have in savings.

One last piece of advice, if you have a joint account you need both of your signatures to close the account. You will also need to get your rental agreement changed to your name only.

Good luck, things feel very bleak right now, but they will improve.

This is incorrect as unless you are already receiving tax credits and housing benefit they are not relevant to you.

Citizens Advice will be able to speak to you either by phone or webchat during opening hours. There is plenty of availability especially on webchat. www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/contact-us/help-to-claim/
You can claim now if you and husband are living separately ie. you have separate finances, sleep separately, no longer share meals etc.
The benefit calculators should take SMP into account if you have filled it in correctly.