How do you cook healthy meals when you have a baby!

[Duemarch2021]

So before I got pregnant I used to cook all my meals from scratch, fresh veg and fresh meat etc.. slimming world kind of style food.. now i have my first baby and can hardly find time to pee never mind cook, i find myself eating yoghurts/toast / cereal bars all day/night... i thought itd get easier but shes now 14 weeks and its not really much easier to grab a minute and if i did start cooking during a nap, guaranteed she will wake up screaming whilst ive got something half way through cooking... question is how do you do it?! AIBU to think its nearly impossible...

I find that im gaining weight rather than losing it and im obese as it is.. i do have a partner but he works all day and then i go for a nap when he gets in as baby is always unsettled at night meaning i dont get much sleep. I've googled it and one site tells me to batch cook for the week.. i dont even have time to make a jacket potato never mind batch cook!

Could your partner batch cook at the weekend while you look after baby? Or you batch cook while partner looks after baby?

I was on my own and at first I ate mostly omelettes and cereal! Frozen veg, slow cooker whole chicken, sandwiches etc when she was a bit older. I used to sit her in the bouncer where she could see me.

[quote KM38]@Duemarch2021 Oh, and my baby IS that fussy baby that was absolutely NOT content in any kind of rocker/swing/sling. And he will still only do his daytime naps on me or in his pram on a walk now and he’s 7months old 😐 So that dinner that I heat in the microwave gets heated just before his last wee catnap at 4pm and I eat it while holding him for his wee half hour power nap 👍🏻🙈🤣[/quote]
If you put your baby in the sling, can't they nap in there?

Our baby is 16 weeks now and we put her to bed at 7 so prep/have our tea after. One of us baths her, feeds her, reads her a story and puts her to bed whilst the other one starts cooking.

Some 'easy teas' for us are:

• Chicken Fajita Pasta (or rice)

Fry diced chicken with onions and peppers. Mix fajita seasoning in. Add to pasta. Top with a bit of cheese.

• Pitta Pizza:
• Slightly toast the pittas. Spread tomato puree on. Add some mozzarella and whatever other toppings. Cook in the oven. Serve with a bag of ready made salad.

• Creamy Pasta:

Cook your pasta as normal. Fry some bacon bits and onions. Drain the pasta and mix in the bacon and onions. Add primula cheese or other soft cheese. Stir and eat.

Frozen Veg and Mashed Potato is an absolute time saver for us!

YANBU- it’s very hard in the early days.

If you have a DP or DH can you ask them to batch cook a big pan of curry and make a large lasagne on the weekend to see you through the week? Then you can just supplement it with jacket potatoes chucked in the oven and salad with things like cooked mackerel straight from the packet on another night.

I promise it gets MUCH easier when the baby gets older. Once they can sit in the high chair you can prepare something quickly, but your DH really should cook several times a week and/or leave you a packed lunch in the morning, especially in the early days.

Salmon poached in water on the hob is a great “go to” in this house, served with new potatoes that you just rinse and put on to boil while baby naps and some shop-prepared salad.

I used to do meal prep with baby in a carrier or in a seat in the kitchen with me. Also you have to slightly accept that sometimes they will have to cry for a couple of mins while you stick a piece of salmon into tinfoil and bung it in the oven

It’s worth bearing in mind my son isn’t that chilled, however we’ve found that if we listen to music and talk to him in his chair in the kitchen watching me cook it does chill him right out - worth a go

It is bloody hard to begin with though - in the early days DH would literally have to spoon feed me

I did a lot of throwing a chicken/bit of fish in the oven, emptying a bagged salad into a bowl and fresh bread with DC2. DC1 was a winter baby so used the slow cooker but didn’t fancy that in the summer. But honestly I just put them down for 10 mins and got on with it. Same with having a shower or little housework jobs. Some would consider it cruel but I reckoned they had to fit in a bit.

I remember picking up the "cook simple" cookbook by Diana Henry where she said that when she had a baby she realised that all those "quick" dinners are actually useless - the kind where they say "dinner on the table in 20 mins!" but that's 20 mins of chopping stuff for a stir-fry, or standing over the stove stirring a risotto. That's useful for a childless person who comes home from work and wants to eat in the next 20 mins. When you have a baby you want a dinner that takes 5 mins "active" time, max - but it doesn't matter if it sits in the oven or slow cooker for 3 hours or even eaten the next day.

I remember relying on batch cooking, one-pot meals, traybakes and frozen stuff so much. My favourites (still) are the tray bakes where the starch, veg and protein are all on the same tray - like this one: new potatoes or chunks of bigger potatoes, whole cloves of unpeeled garlic, wedges of red onion, brussels sprouts, chicken thighs all on the tray together, with a honey/mustard/lemon/oil dressing over the top. I used to throw this together in a big plastic bag, or even right on the tray at nap time or with the baby on my front, even if it was at 10am, and then shove in the oven an hour before dinner.

Batch cook, slow cooker, baby on sling on back. And really simple recipes.

But tbh I didnt find having small children was conducive to weight loss at all.

Also, you can let the baby scream a bit - I learned that once DC2 came along and I had to leave one screaming while I dealt with the other one.

If your baby is 14 weeks, get a Circle of Neglect which you can use from 4 months or so - it saved my sanity. We had this one: www.amazon.co.uk/LeapFrog-Learn-Groove-Activity-Station/dp/B0002C6N16?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

@RaeRaeMama my baby hates the sling

OP, our diet has definitely got worse and more limited. However, I've found easier things to cook even if a bit bland. Use lots of frozen veg and just chuck in things, lots of one pan dishes, or cook some veg in tomatoes, chuck on pasta. We eat more things liked fish fingers, salmon I can just stick in the oven for 20 mins with boiled potatoes and broccoli (from frozen). I don't plan batch cooking, but if possible make more than enough and freeze. I used to love cooking and make what I now realise were quite complex dishes, often Asian or middle eastern inspired but no more.

@Megan2018

My husband did all the cooking whilst I was on mat leave, he did all the housework too, I did baby and laundry. I did the very occasional bit at weekends but otherwise I was catered for until DD was weaning-after that I did a bit of the cooking.

I don't think that is anywhere near the norm though. Frankly I would see no reason for it to be. What do you mean by 'I did baby', genuinely intrigued

@theleafandnotthetree New babies can be extremely time-consuming and relentless so I totally get why a husband would support with some of the domestic chores. Why should that be solely the wife's responsibility?
I remember my baby was on the boob constantly in the early days and was a very poor sleeper so OH did all of the cooking when he got home from work.

'Support with some' is not quite the same as doing ALL housework and cooking. I've had 2 babies, both breastfed til 8 months but there is no way I could have or would have sat under them all day. Before you say it, I guess I was 'lucky' (though not all luck, I worked hard to have them in a good routine) but I do think that the kind of 'do nothing except take care of baby for 6 months is wildly unrealistic if you have more than one child, potentially unfair to the other parent and frankly incredibly tedious. I WANTED to take care of my own home, cook food that I liked, just you know, take care of business. I feel like someone is lying on my chest just at the thought of what some of you describe. And for the record, we had our bad days too and I have friends with babies who were very challenging to settle etc but all managed to cook the odd meal and mostly keep the show on the road.

Mine was/ is a screamer who didn’t really settle in bouncer or highchair long. Now at 1 year I can get many 10 mins with him in highchair if needed. He’s also never napped great or reliably so I never knew if it’s would be a 10min nap or an hour.

Anyway. Grill machine is our go to. Just season some meat/ fish/ vegetables/ hallomi and grill. Takes 5-10 mins.

Buy some microwave rice/grains/ quinoa. For days when you haven’t a moment to make fresh.

Add salad/ peas done in microwave

Also things like scrambled egg and spinach on toast, ready made gnocchi, stuffed pasta, fresh ready made soups.

Dh or I try and batch cook one meal a week so we have spare in freezer and it builds up a small supply

The only trick I found was to allow a ridiculous amount of time to cook. So something that you would normally throw together in 15 mins -allow an hour.

(That was with my first child though who was impossible, second baby is now 10 weeks and she’s totally chilled and easy to have in a chair or sling while I cook, so does depend on the child)

You have my sympathy OP, it's really hard. My daughter was so bad when very young, that when I had the next baby, I made sure I had a freezer full of ready to go home cooked meals, together with disposable plates to save on washing up!
If you're as knackered as I suspect you are, batch cooking is the last thing you want to do. If you can afford it, the "Cook" range of frozen meals is pretty good, and is reasonably like home cooking. This stage won't last forever, though it might feel like it right now.

I think it's hard for anyone to comment as it sounds like you have a difficult baby. My friend told me how I wouldn't be able to get anything done with a baby which I just didn't find so I think only those who have difficult babies should answer this.

I think it's more a matter of expectations and creative multi tasking tbh. Whilst some babies are objectively easy or difficult, most are perhaps subjective.

Take my first. I'd say she was a really easy baby. But we also used her Moses basket as storage for most of its lifespan because she'd only contact nap. She didn't learn to self settle for sleep until gone 3 (and didn't sleep through till after this). Some people would have put her in the more difficult category, but I thought she was fine because I just used the sling and was able to still do stuff despite contact naps etc. And she did love a kickabout on her playmat which helped.

My second was in a 2hrly feeding programme and had colic for a while, so there was hours of crying every evening, and also only contact napped. But I still only think of her as being average difficulty.

Again, I used the slings a LOT, and I'm not sure I ever missed a meal (when they were babies, toddlers I do all the time as I just don't have time any more).

My tips are:

• my primary rule with my firstborn, was when I thought something was impossible to juggle, I'd ask what I'd do if this was my second, and then find a solution. Desperate for food but baby won't be put down - you might be prepared to go hungry, but your imaginary 3 year old is crying from hunger. Baby asleep on you but your imaginary 2 year old has done a poo in their happy, what do you do etc? I appreciate this is more a frame of mind rather than a solution, but it helps turn 'this is impossible' to 'this is hard but I need to do it' which means you get your own needs met as well. After a while, it becomes second nature more and the imaginary sibling fades away (unless and until you have one for real, lol).

Practically, if using the job, and a sling, use back rings only, on lower heat, and never coook anything that can spit. Stir side on, so you can keep maximum distance away with baby. Preferably have baby side facing in a ring sling so you can cook on the opposite side and use your body as the block.

-if breastfeeding, learn to feed in the sling so that you can cook, pee whatever at the same time.

• get in some easy meals if struggling, that can just be put in the microwave. Veg can be frozen, meat can be already diced etc.

• keep practicing putting them down as one day it will work. Only try when you can lift their arm 3 times and it flop back down first.

-slow cookers give more flexibility over when you cook and eat.

• when they start weaning, use the meal to prepare the next one, and give them the food a couple of bits at a time. When my kids were 6-9m ish, a meal could take at least 45m, which would give me time to clean up and do prep for the next one (and bung stuff in the slow cooker). They are also more likely to eat more if if you give it slowly.

Good luck.

@MachiaNelly

Put the baby in a baby seat and you can get a lot done. You can talk to her, play music, etc

Yup. This. My babies were happy to watch me potter while I talked to them about what I was doing.

I did this and also cook twice as much when you do cook so you have left overs

Even at a young age, don't underestimate the usefulness of music, and singing and talking to them. No one else will hear your song about how you cook macaroni cheese, but it will keep their brains engaged, and can buy you some extra time, as well as being good for them. It helps them realise you are still there when tiny and having unfocussed vision as well, if they are in a mat. Just narrate your day 'im now typing on Mumsnet. On no what day fingers I have, I'm going to have to rewrite that. Oh dear' etc.

I’m a big batch cooker but when she was that age it’d basically take me all day. So I’d get everything out, chop it and cook it through the day. Kitchen was a bit of a mess throughout but I tidied up at the end. I find the rukmini iyer roasting tin books best at the no as you generally just Chuck it all in.

my primary rule with my firstborn, was when I thought something was impossible to juggle, I'd ask what I'd do if this was my second, and then find a solution.

This is really good advice. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and then getting out of it feels impossible unless there's something you have to do.

I was nap trapped a lot with my baby, who was cluster feeding, and also vomiting and having explosive nappies all the time from allergies. It felt like I never had time to do anything else, not even get dressed let alone cook food. But I just realised I had to change my mindset and get on with stuff, and learn to prioritise and let go of perfection. If the baby cries for a few minutes because they can't see you while you shower or chop onions, that's OK, you need to do those things for your own wellbeing. I just got really fast at showering and chopping onions!

@pigeonpocket

my primary rule with my firstborn, was when I thought something was impossible to juggle, I'd ask what I'd do if this was my second, and then find a solution.

This is really good advice. It's easy to get stuck in a rut and then getting out of it feels impossible unless there's something you have to do.

I was nap trapped a lot with my baby, who was cluster feeding, and also vomiting and having explosive nappies all the time from allergies. It felt like I never had time to do anything else, not even get dressed let alone cook food. But I just realised I had to change my mindset and get on with stuff, and learn to prioritise and let go of perfection. If the baby cries for a few minutes because they can't see you while you shower or chop onions, that's OK, you need to do those things for your own wellbeing. I just got really fast at showering and chopping onions!

I think this is excellent advice in general. The baby is not going to be harmed permanently by crying for 5 or 10 minutes while you have a quick shower or throw a bowl of salad together. It is however absolutely crucial for OUR mental and physical well being that we take care of ourselves - and other family members too. We are no good to them or ourselves if we are merely existing and neglecting ourselves. Apart from amything else, I truly believe they pick up on that and a well cared for mother (by herself primarily but also others) is conducive to and not the barrier to a well cared for baby.