Has anyone successfully solved laziness/demotivation

[LynnABenfield]

I think I'm lazy, definitely struggle to motivate myself to do things, I work full time and I have quite a hard job which can be quite physical and I do work hard at it when I'm there, so I'm not lazy in that respect

I just can't seem to motivate myself to do anything at home, I just about manage to keep on top of house work, I keep the house presentable, wash clothes etc, but I have a pile of clothes that need putting away that I just keep ignoring for example

I need to get healthy, I am extremely unfit, I live next door to some woods I could walk in everyday, I wake up each morning fully intending to walk to school instead of driving, but I always think sod it I'll drive, when I get the odd free day I think I'll go for a nice walk, then I can relax the rest of the day, then I just get up and sit in front of the tv all day, I have a exercise bike, the intention was at least if I was sat watching tv I could be moving a bit, it's not being out of the spare room since I bought it!

I need to get back in to eating healthy, I enjoy healthy food, but the effort it takes to meal plan, buy things that i don't usually buy, like the brain power of changing the habit of buying the same things is too much so I just continue to eat rubbish and feel shit about being fat!

I don't know what to do to make myself snap out of this rut! How can I want to do something and change for the better but at the same time talk myself out of it constantly!

That is a lot of changes to make. I can see how it feels like too much and it's easier to just not bother. I'd pick one change to make at a time. Maybe to start with just focus on getting out walking. You may find after a while that becomes habit, and you feel more motivated to tackle diet, so then add in that. As far as the pile of clothes life is too short to stress about that or at least that is what I tell myself.

Sounds like you're doing okay, you work hard in your job and keep on top of housework well enough. Lots of people struggle to find motivation for exercise and diet so you're not alone there. If you enjoy healthy food then that's half the battle there, just try to keep making small changes.

I feel similar. I lean into it and accept being lazy where I can. I think it's a matter of prioritisation- what can you realistically do while maintaining your mental health?

Have a look at bullet journaling. Theres a couple of good books on it. Ive got the book but because of Covid didn't actually get round to starting. . Its more or less working on areas you want to improve and keeping records.

I had success using X sheets - you make a chart with 30 boxes, one per day, and cross off each day that you do whatever it is you're trying to motivate yourself to do. So could be going for a walk or not eating rubbish, for example. The idea is that if you can do it consistently for 30 days then it becomes a habit and you're much more likely to stick with it.

I agree with the PP who said to focus on one thing at a time, and also make it something small and manageable - even if it's just going for say a 10 minute walk every day. Doing small things consistently is much better than trying to make drastic and unsustainable changes all at once. Often getting started on a task is the hardest bit anyway, so if you can get into the habit of doing a ten minute walk daily, it'll be much easier to up that later than it would if you're not in the habit of walking at all.

Just wanted to send you a hug, really. I really resonate with a lot of the things you’ve said. It sounds simple, but I had some counseling and my counselor said to me ‘be kinder to yourself’. She said ‘if you were your own manager, you wouldn’t treat or speak to yourself the way you do’. That is food for thought, even though it sounds simple.

The more kindly you speak to yourself, the more self esteem and energy you will have to do things like eat more healthily and exercise.

The woods sound nice - can you find a podcast you like and go for a walk there with a podcast? I also recommend doing things when you wake up, as willpower is generally greater then. So would that work for days off?

In terms of the food - everyone always recommends these, but they really are useful: have you thought of getting a Gousto box? You can choose healthy recipes from there, and it’s a confidence boost as the recipes are easy to follow.

Also, you mention working in a school - are you a teacher? Don’t underestimate how draining that can be too. You said you work hard whilst you’re there, so, again - speak kindly to yourself. You are not lazy.

Good luck!

I think motivational books are quite helpful. Instead of walking to work why not have an easy stroll after work or in the evening for half an hour or even 20 minutes and keep a record of the days you manage to fit it in. You certainly aren't lazy if you work full time and more or less keep on top of housework. Get a cleaner if you can afford it and that will free up time for other things.