My 12 year old is always down and fed up lately.

[Iloveitall]

Used to be so chatty and enthusiastic but it’s all changed. Is it hormones? To be fair not much seems to work out for him. He’s invited friends out and they aren’t available so he’s fed up about that. (They have genuine reasons) He’s fed up with homework and really doesn’t like school anymore. No reason except it’s boring. He’s just lost his enthusiasm for everything. Does it sound like teenage moodiness or something I should worry about? Just would love some of my enthusiastic little boy back. I’ve just had a moan at him for being fed up all the time and now I feel bad.

DD was like this for a while too but it's back again now (temporarily I'm sure). It is hormones but it is a hard life being 12 as well. Especially in a pandemic. Just make home as safe and comfortable as possible - that's what I'm trying to do.

It could be lots of things (including normal teenage stuff with Covid on top). What does he say? Does he recognise it? Have you spoken about it being a difficult time and what might help him to keep going? I would definitely correct my mistake and apologise for moaning at him so he knows it's absolutely OK to open up to you about feeling low.

He doesn’t agree that he is fed up / low but to me he seems to think everything goes wrong for him. He will often get hurt, little things, and gets upset and moans that it’s always him, our day out on friday is him with his younger siblings as no friends can come, his bday present had to be sent back and replaced so he was really disappointed etc

I’ve tried to tell him it’s life but he seems to think it’s always him. It’s quite draining. The only thing that makes him smile is our dog.

But there is so much that is disappointing at the moment. I'd be disappointed if my birthday had to be sent back too and I'm an adult not a kid who's had all the exciting stuff you get to do when you're 11/12 cancelled over the last year. I totally get that kids must feel like everything goes wrong for them at the mo. It's a really hard lesson (bit I think it will actually serve them quite well in the end). A technique that someone told me that really works is just to say 'I would feel disappointed if my friend couldn't come too' (or whatever). Just being understood helps sometimes, even if you really want to say 'oh fgs just deal' like I do

No advice but in exactly same boat and its so hard what to attribute to age and what is impact of pandemic. Don't feel ready for teen stage!

How much screen/on line gaming time is he having? What does he do to let steam off?

The past year would have had a massive effect on some children. I'd get him out exploring and doing physical actives

What hobbies does he have

He usually has a fair bit of screen time but he’s been really good at getting outside in the garden this half term as the weathers been so nice. He likes footie but the season finished pretty much as soon as they were allowed to play again so he has to wait until September. He quit scouts as all his friends did too after Covid so hasn’t got that anymore. His friends seem to have been depleted and he only has two now when he was always Mr Popular before.

I’ve suggested a few things to do tomorrow (walk in the rain, swim, cinema) but he doesn’t want to do anything. It’s really strange.