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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I need to calm down, tell me if I am being unreasonable.

12 replies

Teenangels · 02/06/2021 21:02

So not to drip feed the thread.

My parents live in, a Georgian house that has been turned into apartments with communal grounds.

My mum is terminal ill with dementia, late stage 6 for those that have experienced dementia.
My Dad needing a much needed break has gone to Portugal to stay with friends for a week.
We had a care home sorted for respite but at the last minute there was not a place for my mum.
I stepped in and said I would look after mum, this is 24/7 and we have carers twice a day, Dad asked all the neighbours if they would mind if I brought my 2 small dogs with me, as we could not find kennels for the dogs. The rules are no permanent dogs living here, but visiting dogs are allowed.
All neighbours in agreement that of course o can bring the dogs.

Tonight I was sitting outside on our own terrace, while the carers were with mum, who is non verbal, needs help eating but can still walk.
A lady came out, of her partner's apartment slightly pissed, to have a go at me, because I had my dogs with me, (that her partner said was no problem) and that she was not allowed her dog here and that I was a fucking bitch, I explained that I was only visiting and that I was sorry that she could not bring her dog here. Which I was met with another barrage of abuse.
I bit my tongue as I had had a particular bad day with mum, no sleep and her wandering all night for the last 2 nights.
Shall I approach this woman tomorrow when, A, she is not slurring and explain I really wish, I was not here looking after my terminally ill mum at ages 69.
B, Just post dog shit through her and her partners letterbox ( I won't do this) or just leave it.

OP posts:
Pancakepipsqueak · 02/06/2021 21:06

So sorry about your mum op Flowers
I would leave it. If the woman approaches you sober tomorrow just reiterate you’re visiting (I doubt she will). Maybe ask again if the neighbour (the one actually living there) has an issue if you see them but don’t seek them out.
Hopefully after your week there you won’t see the woman again.

pickingdaisies · 02/06/2021 21:06

Oh God, OP, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Fantasise away about the dog poo and the letter box.
And sending love and hugs to help you get through this FlowersGin

Thesearmsofmine · 02/06/2021 21:08

I would just leave it and ignore her if you see her again. I’m sorry about your mum.

everydaysablessing · 02/06/2021 21:13

Could you speak to the partner that lives there? Not fair you had to were spoken to with bad language by someone that doesn't understand the situation.

I'd have to say something but I shout at strangers so prob not good for advice.

Lollypop701 · 02/06/2021 21:13

I’d post the dog poo to her once you’ve left…. (Not really) ignore her, no point in acknowledging her. I’m so sorry your mii uk m is so poorly. Good luck with the rest of the week op

Teenangels · 02/06/2021 21:16

I won't put any dog shit in their letterbox, but I don't know if I should approach her tomorrow when sober as she was so venomous towards me.
I could have let rip but didn't because it was such a bad day.

OP posts:
SpindleWhorl · 02/06/2021 21:17

I guess you could pop round nice and early for 'a chat to clear the air'.

If she's pissed now, about 7am tomorrow should make her day.

DurhamDurham · 02/06/2021 21:20

Was she definitely drunk?only asking because my aunt had a stroke people assumed she was drunk as she slurred her words and appeared to be distracted/confused at times.

I would just ignore if I was you, times are stressful f ought for you without adding to the drama.

Teenangels · 02/06/2021 21:22

@DurhamDurham

Was she definitely drunk?only asking because my aunt had a stroke people assumed she was drunk as she slurred her words and appeared to be distracted/confused at times.

I would just ignore if I was you, times are stressful f ought for you without adding to the drama.

She was definitely slurring and pissed, I saw her earlier on today and have spoken to her before. There is a pub within 200 meters and she had been there today.
OP posts:
Taswama · 02/06/2021 21:25

Sorry about your mum Flowers .
I like Spindle 's suggestion.

Aprilwasverywet · 02/06/2021 21:28

Practice your resting bitch face and give her 2 fingers.... And smile.
Sorry she is adding to your shitty time.

kitkatcoffee · 03/06/2021 07:59

@everydaysablessing

Could you speak to the partner that lives there? Not fair you had to were spoken to with bad language by someone that doesn't understand the situation.

I'd have to say something but I shout at strangers so prob not good for advice.

Agree with @everydaysablessing although I also have no problems confronting strangers and often can't bite my tongue

But I personally would go for option A. I think there are certain situations where people need to be put in their place and this would be one of them. I would be really polite about it though, and I think that would make her feel even worse.

Hope you are OK, really sorry about your Mum Flowers

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