Trying to help a friend with addictive behaviours

[Helpneeded123]

I have a friend who is a compulsive/binge eater, is alcohol dependent and is having an affair. She is in some kind of spiral and very depressed and I'm trying to help but she shuts me down and doesn't want to talk about it. I want to keep trying as I am worried about her and love her.

AIBU in trying even though she doesn't want me to?

I'd advise against it if I'm honest. It can destroy a person if they pour so much care and effort into helping someone who doesn't want to be helped. Let her know that whenever she's ready you'll be there, but forcing it won't work and will only negatively affect you.

I have struggled with an eating disorder and drug/alcohol abuse throughout my life and I'll be honest, it just pissed me off when people tried to stage interventions. I know your heart is in the right place but she won't get better until she truly wants to and us ready. Just make sure she knows you're always there for her if she wants help.

I don't think you're BU, but sadly some people just can't be helped. If she's shutting you out, then the only thing you can do, as far as I can see, is speak to her partner, obviously don't mention the affair, unless they suspect something anyway and bring it up, but just tell them how worried you are about your friend, and ask them if they think there is anything you can do to help.

@Helpneeded123

I have a friend who is a compulsive/binge eater, is alcohol dependent and is having an affair. She is in some kind of spiral and very depressed and I'm trying to help but she shuts me down and doesn't want to talk about it. I want to keep trying as I am worried about her and love her.

AIBU in trying even though she doesn't want me to?

People with these kind of issues need professional help. You sadly can't force help on people, all you can do is let her know that you are there If she wants help and then leave her to it

Trying to take control of her life isn't helpful though.

If you love her, then respect her and stop being controlling.

Thanks for the thoughts. I'm honestly not being controlling or trying any kind of intervention, just trying to be there for her. I've told her I'm always here for her and have suggested perhaps seeing a professional for some "proper" help. She's getting worse and is mixing prescription drugs with the drink and I'm scared. We've been friends over 30 years and this behaviour is pretty new.