So here is my situation. My OH and I live together in his house. We have 2 yr old and he has 10 yr old from previous relationship.
I find living in the home quite difficult because it needs a lot of work and some rooms are a no go zone. There is clutter, building materials and bare brick walls! It’s a really difficult house to keep clean and tidy and it’s really not how I want my child to live. My partner has so much stuff everywhere! Sometimes I feel I have no say in things, and although I’ve tried to make the place more a home, it’s been difficult and it gets me down. I really don’t like inviting people in because I feel embarrassed.
OH lives away 5 days a week so it’s just me and our child most of the time which doesn’t help the situation.
My OH is trying to save to have work done in the house, but is finding it difficult. He rents out another property, but the tenant has been unable to pay rent due to covid, so OH has 2 mortgages to pay.
My OH will be living in this house for at least another 8 years as he is changing careers soon and won’t have money to move. I’ve suggested looking into me coming in on his mortgage. I’m sure he can protect his share, I could provide a lump sum which would help do some much needed work in the house. However he does not want to do this. I just don’t think I want to live this way anymore and I am considering buying my own place to live in.
Owning a property is quite important to me. I feel like it would provide security for my future, for my child, and it would be so nice to have a comfortable, clean, cosy place that I don’t have to fight with someone about all the time.
Of course I am really concerned about the impact this would have on my son. I have friends who have separated with young children and the child’s behaviour has been quite negative when going from one parents house to the others. I don’t want to separate from my OH, but I do worry the impact my decision will have on our relationship. Obviously he doesn’t want me to move out, although he doesn’t seem to understand why I would like the security of my own home.
Can anyone offer me advice or experience of a similar situation? Should I just try to be happy in the house in the best interest of my son having 2 parents under 1 roof, or do I take a chance on what I feel would make me happier albeit much poorer 
Thank you