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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New friends

26 replies

TuckItInYourHeart · 02/06/2021 15:58

Hello everyone,

So basically my son has made a new friend, we've met up once before in a park but today they came around my house and for the day, the mum is ready kind and lovely but her children are Confused they have thrown things in my brand new swimming pool thrown and walk food all around my house, her son punched and screamed at mine her daughter kept punching my TV and tried to wreck my son nintendo & games..she wants to met up again round mine I just don't know if I want too! She doesn't really tell them off I was shocked to be honest, maybe I'm being horrible as I like her we have a lot in common but I feel sorry for my son and don't want him being hit ect, any suggestions on what I should do or does anyone have any experience in this..

Thanks

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/06/2021 16:07

Say no because her kids act like animals and she has no control over them

Moonshine11 · 02/06/2021 16:13

Sounds like chaos!
What did she do when the girl was punching the tv? Confused
I would have said something tbh and esp at him hitting your son.

honeygirlz · 02/06/2021 16:14

Say no! of course she wants to meet at your, you get all the mess. CF.

Original poster
TuckItInYourHeart · 02/06/2021 16:16

@Shoxfordian

Say no because her kids act like animals and she has no control over them
My daughter has SEN and hid herself in her room all day as it was so noisy, I feel awful but I don't them coming to my house again I had to step in and sort of tell them off
OP posts:
Original poster
TuckItInYourHeart · 02/06/2021 16:18

@Moonshine11

Sounds like chaos! What did she do when the girl was punching the tv? Confused I would have said something tbh and esp at him hitting your son.
It was chaos, I was just sat there in shock, she just said don't do that Confused in the end I had to step in, my son said please don't hit me again or I'll hit you back Grin
OP posts:
Original poster
TuckItInYourHeart · 02/06/2021 16:19

@honeygirlz

Say no! of course she wants to meet at your, you get all the mess. CF.
I'll think I'll say let's meet at the park again or somewhere neutral
OP posts:
honeygirlz · 02/06/2021 16:20

Good idea

Moonshine11 · 02/06/2021 16:22

Sounds good idea!
Then when you’ve had enough it’s easier to say I’m going home than trying to get them to leave Grin

pilates · 02/06/2021 16:23

Yes to park

Aprilwasverywet · 02/06/2021 16:23

Suggest she hosts next time.

Cadent · 02/06/2021 16:24

If she suggests going to yours after the park, say you have plans.

Thisisthepoint · 02/06/2021 16:27

Only meet people like this in the park, as they clearly have no respect for your home or how they behave in it, towards others etc.

Think up a cast-iron excuse for why they can’t come back to your home afterwards and make sure your DC are onboard with it too.

EssentialHummus · 02/06/2021 16:32

Park! Or just “I’m not sure the kids are playing together very well, so let’s meet at the park / x activity / leave things be for a bit.”

I had this with a local mum - she was / is a really cool, interesting, interested person but her son was a total disaster when he came round and my daughter was petrified. She did try to stop him but was totally ineffectual. I had to make my excuses. I suspect from the way she looks at me now that she still wonders why I won’t engage.

OwlTwitterings · 02/06/2021 16:38

How old is your child? Surely he doesn’t need a parent and sibling involved in a play date.

Original poster
TuckItInYourHeart · 02/06/2021 16:45

@OwlTwitterings

How old is your child? Surely he doesn’t need a parent and sibling involved in a play date.
My son is 7 but my daughter has autism and is non verbal and i can't do it all by myself and my son and her child have only just met, I didn't want to just invite him round alone.
OP posts:
Original poster
TuckItInYourHeart · 02/06/2021 16:47

Yeah I think I'll meet at the park, as I can leave then! Thanks Smile

OP posts:
OwlTwitterings · 02/06/2021 16:48

Surely two seven year old boys are happiest playing by themselves?

frankenpoodle · 02/06/2021 18:55

Definitely don't have them back to your house. Doesn't matter how nice you think their mother is, she's not a great mum if she lets her kids run wild, hit other children, and ruin other people's belongings. It's not horrible to want to protect your children and possessions from abuse!

Tbh, if her children are being unkind to yours, I would stop even the play dates in the park.

Tylila · 02/06/2021 18:59

They may be happy playing by themselves but there is the question of safety.

Leaving them to it is how parents have had their kids returned after play dates with permanent marker eyebrows and a Mohawk.

Tylila · 02/06/2021 18:59

Also, in this case, it doesn’t sound like OP’s son is happy! So parental supervision is necessary.

bellsbuss · 02/06/2021 19:01

I never have people like that around my house for a second time.

Peach01 · 02/06/2021 19:06

I wouldn't have them back. Don't do it.
Have you been to her house?
Suggest taking them to a park or something.

Leeds2 · 02/06/2021 19:34

Does your DS want to meet up with them again, at the park or otherwise?
If you do meet up, I think you need to step in the minute the other boy hits yours, tell him to stop and if he does it again, take your DC home immediately and tell him/his mother why.

DrManhattan · 02/06/2021 20:19

Park but if he's still hitting, I wouldn't make any more arrangements for a bit

StoneofDestiny · 02/06/2021 20:34

Just meet at the park. You don't have to explain, but if you feel you must just say 'the children were difficult to manage indoors'. 'Play dates need to be outdoors'