Screaming children

[Livinthedream84]

Ok I have three children of my own and also have nieces and nephews. I know children make a noise and I’m fine with that. We live next to a primary school which doesn’t bother me too much and when it does I sit in the front of the house where I can’t hear the noise as we live on a (previously) quiet cul-de-sac. Sorted.

About 2 years ago my neighbour became a childminder. This has been fine up until January last year when she got a lot of new children start. All the toddlers do is scream and cry all day. I’m not even kidding. Cry, cry, scream, scream. I can’t sit with my windows open when it’s warm because that’s literally all I can hear. I have a stressful job and last year I actually (jokingly) asked her what she was doing to them all? She replied oh they do cry a lot, sorry.

I know I’m gonna get flamed here and I don’t want to sound like a grumpy old fanny but it’s starting to really irritate me to the point I’m slamming the windows shut or shouting ‘crying again?’ Aibu? Should children be screaming and crying all day??

Report her to Ofsted 🤷🏼‍♀️

@stressbandit

You sound like a nightmare 😮. My kids have learning difficulties and spend majority of the day screaming, there's nothing I can do about it as they are in their own worlds and feel scared with real life. If you shouted at my kids I'd be shouting bloody back at you. How do you know she isn't having kids their with the same issue?

🙄

How hard is it to at least read the OP’s posts?

stressbandit

confronted with a screaming child, the ones who would shout at them to shut up would likely be my own kids!

Some posters are quick to jump at the idea that it's ADULTS who are inconvenienced by children noise, but many little kids get quite annoyed, upset or distressed by constant screaming.

They have a right to live in peace too.

Yer like I say I haven’t shouted at anyone and certainly wouldn’t shout at children. I love hearing children playing and having fun it’s the screaming and crying that’s driving me mad.

I work away from home term time but during the school holidays and weekends I work from home. So it’s more I’m stressed at work and like to come home to chill (doesn’t everyone?) and that’s not a noise you can chill to. They don’t tend to go home until about 6pm. To top it off at weekends she has other family members round, and their kids lol. Then holidays it’s constant.

2 of my children don’t mind it but my DS has said a few times ‘omg they are screaming again’ lol.

Don’t think there are any SEND issues but I could be wrong, obviously I don’t know the kids full details lol.

I do understand now I’m probably coming across as grumpy and I probably would have said the same if I was reading this.

This reminds me of when Ds was five months old and we took him to the zoo and he screamed ALLL the way round. A granny aged woman started staring and tutting like I was an abusive mother and I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
Turns out Ds has a neurological condition, so I couldn't have done anything. This could or could no be the case, but my point is if it is they might not even know. We just thought Ds was a needy baby.
So I'd say your best option is to go out in your garden and have a chit chat. Casually slip it in by expressing concern for the child.
I do realise it's a horrible situation to be in but I cringe at how judgemental I used to be around screaming kids.
Live and learn.

I would have another word with her - not jokingly like last time because her answer was very dismissive and it doesn’t sound like she’s making any effort to do anything about it. I’d first ask if everything is ok due to all the screaming? Then I’d bluntly say it’s causing major stress and disruption. If it was a struggling parent I’d be more sympathetic. But working as a childminder is a choice she has made and it doesn’t sound as though she’s doing a good job quite frankly - if all the children are like that then it’s not down to SEN, I highly doubt that she as a fairly new childminder has taken on multiple children with complex needs who scream in a way that simply can’t be controlled. I wouldn’t want her looking after my child if it was a constant atmosphere of crying and screaming from everyone and her making no effort to discourage it, it sounds horrendous

YANBU. That sounds miserable. Few sounds are as horrible as the prolonged screeching or screaming of children. You could speak to her, but she's probably already doing what she can to keep them quiet, because if it's loud and frustrating for you, I can only imagine it's worse for her, even closer to the source of the noise.

Eventually the noisy "new" kids will grow old enough to attend school, or maybe they'll just grow out of the screaming phase, but there's no way of knowing how long that will take.

I feel your pain. All day every day us really hard. I feel it a bit with our neighbours and it's not even distressed screaming noise. Just playing, but loud, middle class precious and precocious type playing, with quite a lot of meanness when parents out of earshot, that goes on until 8.30-9. I am a grumpy old fart-you, on the mother hand, seem perfectly reasonable.

Those people saying you can be a child minder and not have kids crying and screaming all day, surely it depends on the kids. I'm sure there are groups of children who are calm and delightful. But perhaps she's got a difficult cohort atm with a few bratty spoilt kids who want constant attention.

@pinksquash13

Those people saying you can be a child minder and not have kids crying and screaming all day, surely it depends on the kids. I'm sure there are groups of children who are calm and delightful. But perhaps she's got a difficult cohort atm with a few bratty spoilt kids who want constant attention.

Then she needs to give notice to some of them snd get new mindees. It's not fair on the OP & other neighbours and it's definitely not fair on the children to be in that environment.

@Livinthedream84. I'd go around and ask her what her plan is to resolve the endless screaming & crying.

It's not acceptable for you or the children.

If she doesn't have a plan, suggest she gets one & fast. Advise that giving notice to some of them could be a good plan, with a view to getting others that settle & don't cause mayhem.

It can't continue

She sounds like a pretty bad childminder!? They definitely should not be screaming and crying all day.

Can you tip off Ofsted and get them to do a spot check??

Some good advice here re asking her for a long term plan or chatting to offer.

several properties also have restrictive covenants (details held by land registry) which prevent people running certain businesses from home. My street falls under this but it is blatantly ignored and it means lots of customers parking across other people’s drives and the road getting constantly blocked. I don’t know if any of my neighbours have pursued this route to try and bring back some normalcy to our road but it’s tempting.

*ofsted

I agree with an ofsted inspection. No one expects kids to be quiet but to have screaming and crying all the time isn't normal and I'd wonder if they are being looked after properly. The parents surely wouldn't want their child in a setting like that.

Bloody hell , I love kids but this would drive me mad
I’d be so upset if it was my child crying too

I'd kind of be worried about why they're crying all day. My eldest was a big crier but all day children crying?

Ghastly. I really feel for you. No better than living next door to barking all day kennels

Yanbu,you should be able to relax and work in your own home and garden.Her work cannot be seen as more important than yours.I would be concerned about this going on throughout the summer and go and talk to her.Hopefully you can sort something out.🌈

Our neigborh is a child minder. Sure we hear some crying and screaming but not a lot and definitely not all day. There might be a bit in the morning before morning nap and after lunch before nap but overall we dont hear the children beside what is normal expected noise.