Parenting an preteen, tougher than expected anyone else experiencing this?

[PasstheBucket89]

So, My mum always said preteens were much more confrontational than teens and that for me she found it the hardest stage because your hormonal and moody but still have to sort of wear kid gloves with them, not to the no nonsense approach you take with teenagers, (i was a very early developer so probably hit the worst hormonally then)
I didn't believe but my 12 yr old DS, dear me
Moody, snappy, sullen, a bit withdrawn everything is answered "Fine!", hes an early developer too, more so than his mates which must be quite isolating.
then next minute back to his normal self, i find Mardy, Sulkiness harder to deal with then outright rudeness, i. e teens swearing etc, i looking forward to him coming back,
Anyone experienced this? does it get better?

It's different for every family. A very tough stage to go through. It doesn't get any easier imo but some people will say it does

It got better for me OP. DD was horrid from 11.5 to just before she turned 13. Then turned (mostly) back into her lovely self. She was an earlier developer too. She's a good egg now but boy that 15 months was looooong.

I'm in the middle of this too. It's heartbreaking. My wee lass has gone from sunny and happy to FINE and loads of I don't care

Agreed. 11yr old DS goes from wanting to sleep in my bed, to then shouting, swearing and throwing things about, whilst saying how much he ‘hates his life’. (He has a lovely life). I’m at my wits end with him.

I've just read this book - Parenting the New Teen in the Age of Anxiety

www.amazon.co.uk/Parenting-New-Teen-Age-Anxiety/dp/1642500496?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

No magic bullet, but lots of general advice that I'm hoping will help when my DS (now 11.5) hits this stage... The basic message seems to be, lots of love & patience, and keep the lines of communication open...

Hell yes. DD at 10.5 is far more challenging than she was as a toddler.

Definitely! i think its the feeling of you don't really know whats going on for them, my DS doesn't talk much about stuff in general, i dunno if that makes it harder,

Omg mine keeps crying. He has never cried about anything, usually very robust and lives in his own world. Now its lots of tears and stomach aches.

oh bless him, @Hankunamatata it's funny that mine keeps complaining about stomach aches too, hes having some breakouts too.

Mine has decided tonight after googling that henhas anxiety and asked me what the preferred method of treatment is lol. He's an oversharer. He was disappointed that I couldnt magically fix him - though nice to know that he thinks mum can fix anything

Mine was horrid aged 11 - 12. Sorting out the start of secondary was a bloody nightmare. All the hormones and the burgeoning independence vs wanting them to be safe and keep some structure and boundaries. You have to ignore a lot and pick your battles.

Oh i agree completely, the independence thing vs still being so young is scary x