Struggling with food shopping/meal planning

[BelleClapper]

I work shifts. DH works 7-4. So meal planning and shopping falls to him as I eat at work and only get my shifts a few days ahead.

We have a nine year old and also two young adults (17 and 18) who are randomly around/not around for dinner.

I’ve only been back at work for a few weeks but the current system just isn’t working. DH is finding it impossible to plan ahead as he never knows who’s in or not. For example, there’s no point making a big curry/spag Bol etc if it’s only him and DS2, but then if he doesn’t know who’s around until last minute he can’t get eg chicken out of the freezer in time.

Short of living off noodles and chicken nuggets, he’s struggling. He’s not a particularly competent cook either so recipe meals tend to take him an hour to prepare because he faffs which then eats into the evenings which are also stupidly busy.

I need some easy peasy ideas for him that can be for two or four or sometimes five people without too many changes.

Oh. And ds2 is a veg avoider, DS1 doesnt like cheesy or creamy sauces and DD doesn’t like spice.

Please help us not just live on pasta pesto and nuggets and chips.

Not really sure why this is in AIBU?

However, to answer your question - it seems to me that you need some kind of reliable way of knowing who is going to be in for dinner each day of the week. If your older children are just turning up randomly expecting to be fed, this is bound to cause problems.

How about some kind of weekly planner/calendar, that you stick up in the kitchen/by the front door (or wherever all family members will see it), and people have to write down where they're going to be/when they're going to be in or out?

That way, you can plan meals ahead.

The other thing I'd suggest is that you make up a big lasagne, or shepherd's pie, and then portion it up and freeze portions for 1 or 2 people, so there's always something to grab from the freezer if you need it/if something unexpected happens.

Get the older two to sort themselves out if they can't commit to letting him know One shelf in the fridge that they can use. There's nothing more infuriating than finding half the stuff you had bought to use gone

We do have a kitchen calendar for my shifts and we keep reminding the kids to add on their stuff but it just isn’t happening.

We don’t have a huge amount of freezer space (stupid built in fridge freezer) so I am considering biting the bullet and putting a chest freezer in the garage.

We do tell the big kids that they need to sort themselves out if they aren’t letting us know but that means DD lives off mac and cheese and DS1 noodles.

I agree that you need to get the teens to commit to being around at meal times. I'd probably be getting them to commit to cooking one night a week each.
Would a slow cooker help, that way if they come in later they can dip into it.
The Roasting Tin cookbooks are supposed to be good and everything goes on one tray in the oven. www.amazon.co.uk/Roasting-Tin-Simple-Dish-Dinners/dp/1910931519?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I feel like the older ones should sort themselves. As long as there is pasta, potatoes etc. They'll be fine. As soon as I got an evening job/was at university (lived at home) I sorted myself and tbh it helped me learn to cook although I did eat a lot of jacket potatoes lol.

That way it's just scheduling for the three of you and that will be a lot easier. Also your DH should really be trying to learn more recipes, shouldn't all be on you. Recommend him YouTube videos there are so many for intro to cooking xyz. There's so much knowledge available now I wouldn't be accepting that as an excuse.

@BelleClapper

We do have a kitchen calendar for my shifts and we keep reminding the kids to add on their stuff but it just isn’t happening.

We don’t have a huge amount of freezer space (stupid built in fridge freezer) so I am considering biting the bullet and putting a chest freezer in the garage.

We do tell the big kids that they need to sort themselves out if they aren’t letting us know but that means DD lives off mac and cheese and DS1 noodles.

Well - as they say, actions have consequences!

If they won't tell you where they are/when they're going to be in, then they don't get fed!

Stop buying mac and cheese and noodles.

I'd have thought things like spag bol would be perfect as he can cook it and then either freeze the leftovers or reheat later. In fact any kind of batch cooking is good. Just reheat straight from the freezer without defrosting. For example portions of spag bol can be defrosted in the microwave while pasta cooks, portions of curry can be defrosted while rice cooks. Even things like baked potatoes can be reheated straight from frozen. It sounds to me though like your teens are being shit not telling you whether they are going to be in or not. It's on them if they want to eat noodles every meal surely, rather than your husband running around trying to anticipate what they're doing and changing his cooking to suit

Then let them @BelleClapper, they'll soon get fed up of it . I love my children but I'm not their housekeeper
If they can't be polite enough to let you know then they can survive on toast and Mars bars
Adulthood carries responsibilities

I would pick days and say we cook for you Monday, Wednesday and Friday, and if not at home their portions are left in Tupperware in the fridge to be reheated later that night or the next evening. I’d take my portion into work

On the other days they can cook for themselves if they don’t have a meal from the day before to reheated. They can still eat with the family, just something different.

As for easy meals that can be scaled up and I’d look for ‘store cupboard’ recipes. Some good ideas here: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/collection/storecupboard-recipes/amp

I’m terrible at meal planning so started getting Gousto. It’s been a lifesaver. You can freeze the portions you don’t use, I usually have some for lunch the following day.

Nosh for busy mums and dads might be the answer. They are v simple recipes and quite nice. There are meal plans and i think shopping lists.

Teens need a sign in sheet.

For example, there’s no point making a big curry/spag Bol etc if it’s only him and DS2

Couldn't you eat it the next day for lunch or dinner if there's leftovers?

I purposely make enough for the next day.