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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that a doctor did this

18 replies

User6272 · 02/06/2021 01:45

Requested to see my mental health nurse received them today. These conversation I had with a doctor while an inpatient for my mental health. Which states that the doctors “mimicked me” in her own words by looking at her sheet and out the window. She’s claiming that then made me more “expressive” aibu to be hurt that a doctor would do that to someone

OP posts:
JungleIsMassive · 02/06/2021 01:49

Sorry, I don't quite understand the story!

What did the doctor do? What did they say?

Original poster
User6272 · 02/06/2021 01:50

I was making eye contact with her so she “mimicked me”

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 02/06/2021 01:50

Agree with above, op. I really don't understand what you wrote. Can you try to clarify?

JungleIsMassive · 02/06/2021 01:51

Making eye contact with the doctor?

Mimicked you how?

BusterGonad · 02/06/2021 01:53

I don't understand either, can you describe the event a bit clearer please.

Original poster
User6272 · 02/06/2021 01:54

I wasn’t making eye contact with the doctor and was looking around the room down at my lap etc. She then “mimicked” me by looking at her sheet and also out of the window

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 02/06/2021 01:54

I really don't think the word "mimicked" was used negatively. I think what she meant was similar to "mirroring" you. Doing this can often put patients, and people being interviewed, more at ease. I really, really don't think the doctor was ridiculing you.

Topseyt · 02/06/2021 01:57

Sorry, I'm not sure I understand. How does making eye contact with the doctor mean that she mimicked you?

JungleIsMassive · 02/06/2021 02:00

@User6272

I wasn’t making eye contact with the doctor and was looking around the room down at my lap etc. She then “mimicked” me by looking at her sheet and also out of the window
I think this is fine. No? Sometimes it hurts to see how you truly act. I don't think it was mimicking in a 'taking the piss' kind of way. She wasn't making fun of you. She was engaging you. Did you ask her why she did it? Did she explain why she did it?
Original poster
User6272 · 02/06/2021 02:02

She used the word mimicked not me. I didn’t notice it at the time I’ve read it in the notes but she’s making our i then started taking more because she did that

OP posts:
JungleIsMassive · 02/06/2021 02:04

@User6272

She used the word mimicked not me. I didn’t notice it at the time I’ve read it in the notes but she’s making our i then started taking more because she did that
So you didn't notice it? You find out she did it by reading your notes? And she explains it helped you communicate better?

And now you're annoyed?

Have I got this right?

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/06/2021 02:05

OK think really carefully about why you wanted to read your notes. Do you believe you received care that harmed you or helped you? Did you believe before you read those notes that the nurse was a good practitioner?

I wonder if you are just torturing yourself. And apportioning blame. Is it useful?

SympathyFatigue · 02/06/2021 02:06

@User6272

She used the word mimicked not me. I didn’t notice it at the time I’ve read it in the notes but she’s making our i then started taking more because she did that
They've just used the wrong word op. They mean you were avoiding eye contact and so to help you feel more comfortable they also mirrored or 'mimmocked' this so that you'd feel more at ease and engage which they've then made a note of.

It can be hard to read notes about yourself. Try and remember it's one person's viewpoint and often written by burnt out nurses and doctors.

Hope you're ok.

OnSecondThoughts · 02/06/2021 02:33

Some words have a very specific medical meaning which is different to their normal meaning, and I think this is probably what you are reading here, OP. I think when it says "mimic" it doesn't mean "make fun of", it just means that she did the same thing as you. For example, if you took your child to the dentist and they told you that the child's teeth were erupting, it just means the teeth are starting to appear.

FelicityBeedle · 02/06/2021 03:13

It’s not a negative thing as others have said. Copying (mimicking) someone can help put them at ease, and it’s perfectly possible that subconsciously this did help you talk more. It’s often called mirroring but I’ve heard mimicking in the same context before

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 02/06/2021 03:16

The word hasnt been used very well. They mean 'mirrored' you, which is a legitimate technique to build rapport and make someone feel comfortable.

JustLyra · 02/06/2021 03:21

They don’t mean mimic in a taking the piss way. They mean it in a copying way.

She mimicked your body language - she didn’t make eye contact and looked away - to make you feel less scrutinised and more comfortable. If it made you more comfortable so you opened up more then it worked.

The doctor helped, not took the piss out of you.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 02/06/2021 03:37

OP as others have said, the word "mimic" means copy. The Dr was trying to help. I've worked with clients who have anxiety and its a technique I was taught, although I would call it mirroring. It's aim is to put people at ease.

It sounds as though you are having a difficult time at the moment. Have you got the support you need?

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