In Laws overstaying their welcome

[Chloe1973]

I live with my husband and two children. My in-laws live abroad and come to visit every year for approximately 3 months. This always causes arguments between my husband and I as he wants them to stay the whole time whilst I need a regular break from them. They are lovely people but I feel that they are judging everything that I do, They don't like to do very much like take the kids to the park etc even though they are fairly young. There has been a history of them unfairly judging me in the past and

I realise your post isn't finished, bit I've read all I need to.

Your husband is absolutely insane for thinking it's ok for his parents to stay for three months. No way would I ever agree to this. He's being incredibly unfair.

I think you go away every other weekend and leave DH with the in laws and the DC to preserve your sanity.

YANBU, that is madness.

What would happen if you said they can only stay for 2 weeks?

Who cooks and cleans for them?

Even my parents (thought they could stay whenever they liked despite us working full time and them being retired) would hire someone for that long. I reckon suggest that to your dh and tell him he needs to take off the whole time to entertain them.

3 months every year?!

Nope. Especially if you're the one having to do most of the hosting/cooking/cleaning/childcare while your DH gets to disappear to work

This used to be my life and it got to the point they were taking the piss. Luckily for me we are no contact now for other reasons so it no longer happens. I would have put my foot down though had it continued. It was their choice to move abroad not mine.

YANBU. That is too much! Three weeks in close quarters with my own parents would drive me around the bend, never mind three months with in-laws who have a history of judging you!

You must all need a break from one another by the end of the first week or two. Whether he likes it or not, I'd come up with reasons to leave the house regularly. People you "must" visit, things you "need" to do, etc.

Fuck that
O moan when mine come for one night

Three months, every year?!

My in laws moved in with us for SIX months whilst waiting for their new house. I would never ever, not in a million years, ever allow them to stay for more than 2 nights after that experience. Never!

Yanbu

No advice but if this happened to me it geniunely might end my marriage. Seriously.

They need to stay somewhere else.

As it is when in laws come for their "extended weekend stays" DH does all prep inc. Beds for arrival and clean up. I don't make the house presntable, i dont wash up, wash clothes or cook for them. I take myself out on my own for little day trips to let them "enjoy quality time" with DH. my spa day Time together is so very important

No advice but if this happened to me it geniunely might end my marriage. Seriously.

Same. My god. Your husband is an absolute twat. A selfish one.

They're over staying their welcome by two and a half months.
Fuck that.

Baffling that they come for three months, maybe if it was 4 weeks in spring 4 weeks in autumn that's just about doable, but that's excessive in your own home. Have a stern talk with your husband about boundaries. They could rent a flat for a month for 500 anywhere outside London. I go back and stay with my family (all younger sisters and parents and stay for a week or two every 2 to 3 months.

I think it depends where you are. It's very expensive and difficult to go to New Zealand for instance, so I can imagine a trip taking 6 weeks. Anywhere under 12 hours flight, two weeks should cut it.

How long do you think you could realistically face them. Opt for this and start at a lower time frame so he can negotiate up a little bit, e.g. if 4 weeks would be OK say 3 weeks maximum then after he strops say OK 4 weeks.

Oh my lord. Two weeks at most.

Where are they visiting from?

Three months isn't a visit, it's a quarter of the year!!!