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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this rude from boss

11 replies

Alwaysthemb · 01/06/2021 21:52

Started new job a couple months ago and getting onboard with processes

Had a call with boss today who has previously been complimentary about my work & experience and he explained the timeline for submitting a client document. Explained that we would need to get it out at midday but not to overestimate how long it would take to process and the changes it would have to go through. I’m a qualified professional with several years in the workplace so not a brand new joiner

He used a phrase he’s used before and said that he would be happy for me to send it to him at midday if I was sure there weren’t any changes. Obviously I said there probably would be changes and I wanted the comfort of a second pair of eyes so would get it to him long before. He laughed it off and explained again that his rule of thumb was, “if you get it to me at midday with no changes happy days, but if there are things that I’ll need to amend, I’ll be annoyed” with a bright smile

I laughed it off and said yes yes I agree that would be frustrating so obviously I won’t - but aibu to find “annoyed” a bit rude and school teacher ish? What so you’ll tell me off?! It’s a very collegiate and team driven atmosphere normally so think this just pissed me off. He does frequently swear for no reason in the conversation (eg bollocks this / bullshit that - never at me or re my work) and I just find it unnecessary. We work at a bank so I do get it comes with the territory but equally just a bit over it

OP posts:
Snorkello · 01/06/2021 21:58

Toxic masculinity at it’s finest! I’d be hacked off too. Yanbu.

MiddleParking · 01/06/2021 22:08

He sounds like an arsehole and a shit manager.

Amelia666 · 01/06/2021 22:34

Sounds like it needs to leave at midday so send it before unless it definitely needs no changes?

Sometimes people just say exactly what they mean; irrespective if you personally need to hear it, maybe multiple previous people in the role would submit at 11.59 requiring submissions?

So now he might just be making a point of being crystal clear until it’s presumably proven over time that this isn’t a shared characteristic.

Not saying it’s right or wrong - I don’t think it’s necessarily either as from his perspective this may just be a common theme he’s hoping to avoid to ensure the client target/timeframe gets hit. Maybe mildly patronising but nothing you can’t demonstrate as unnecessary through smashing it in your role.

If this continued after an extended period with no poor/late submissions on your part, then at that stage I’d agree that he’s an arse.

RedHelenB · 01/06/2021 22:38

Not sure what's rude about it?

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 01/06/2021 22:40

Why's this rude? Of course he'd be annoyed if he needed to amend the document and didn't have time. Just get it to him earlier if you're worried.

Hawkins001 · 01/06/2021 22:49

Sounds like he needs you to make sure it's all complete, then get it sent out by miday, but that he does not want to spend time making changes himself.

HRVY · 01/06/2021 22:55

I think it’s quite a direct message but I don’t think it’s rude. What made you think it was rude?

transformandriseup · 01/06/2021 23:12

Isn't he just saying that you have until midday if you wish but earlier would be better if changes are likely.

I don't think it's that rude.

PacifyLulu · 01/06/2021 23:15

I don’t think it’s rude. He’s telling you what he needs from you.
The swearing is common place in most corporate workplaces now. Meh.

melj1213 · 01/06/2021 23:58

“if you get it to me at midday with no changes happy days, but if there are things that I’ll need to amend, I’ll be annoyed”

aibu to find “annoyed” a bit rude and school teacher ish?

Why would you find "annoyed" to be rude?

He has set out the deadline clearly - it needs to be ready to go at midday - and has also clearly set out the expectation -you either need to send it early if any edits are required or it arrives at midday ready to go. If it arrives at midday and he has to do any work then he will be annoyed because the expectations were clearly set out ahead of time. Since you're new he wants to be very clear early on so that the precedent is set for future work.

MaliceOrgan · 02/06/2021 00:28

we ask the team to write down a short summary of how they like to work and how they prefer to receive information. It's been really handy as you know how to tailor the way you deal with one another. He has just told you how he works, doesn't sound especially rude and it means you don't end up wasting time doing things in a way that will annoy him

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