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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Child playing chicken with my car

45 replies

Siite · 01/06/2021 12:39

I've started having regular issues with a new neighbours child running out in front of my car any time leave or return home.

He can sometimes be found blocking my access to my drive and refusing to move, or crouching in front of my stationery car after I get in ready to go.

Having initially spoken to him about how dangerous this was and just getting more rudeness and hassle as a result, I've taken to trying to avoid him, but in having to veer so he didn't hit me on his bike recently, I have now scratched the car.

As I don't know his dad, who seems to have fallen out with others in the neighbourhood over his own inconsiderate behaviour, I so far haven't felt I can bring this up directly, although I know he's aware of his sons behaviour as other neighbours have mentioned seeing the boy acting this way when also complaining about him ruining their gardens etc. He doesn't seem to to have been interested in putting a stop to this.

AIBU in wanting the parent to know specifically the problems his son is causing, or will he just not want to know? I'm worried about causing this to escalate further. Is there something I could say to the boy the next time that will have an impact, as he really hasn't taken any notice of me and is now trying his best to wind me up more.

OP posts:

Seeline · 01/06/2021 12:41

OF course you have to speak to the parents! Although it does sound as though they are unlikely to do much about it. How old is the boy? Wondering whether you might be able to get one of you local neighbourhood policing team to come and talk to the boy about how dangerous his behaviour is.

ShirleyPhallus · 01/06/2021 12:44

AIBU in wanting the parent to know specifically the problems his son is causing, or will he just not want to know?

Literally no one can answer this for you

Honeyroar · 01/06/2021 12:44

If the parents aren’t going to do much about I’d perhaps ring the police. Try the parents first obviously

LittleOwl153 · 01/06/2021 12:47

I'd first talk to the parents - if you take any other action without having done so then I think you are being unfair.
Once you have spoken to the parents I would speak to the police. I'd also get a dash camera as it is sounding inevitable that this kid is going to cause an accident of some kind.

ApolloandDaphne · 01/06/2021 12:47

If his parents don't act to stop him doing this then I also agree that you may need to speak to your local police and see if they could come and talk to him. What he is doing is so very dangerous.

Faranth · 01/06/2021 12:48

The very first thing I would do, right now, is get a dash cam. If you hit him you need to be able to prove it was not your fault!

You must tell his parents, and tbh if you get him doing it on your dashcam after you've spoken to them then I think I'd be contacting the police, with the footage, and hopefully they'll read them all the riot act.

If he can't be trusted to play safely and out of the road then he shouldn't be unsupervised.

Outbutnotoutout · 01/06/2021 12:49

I would speak to the local beat officer and let him give words of advice

NoMoreAngelDelight · 01/06/2021 12:53

Film him and tell the police.

honeygirlz · 01/06/2021 12:53

I agree, get dashcams for the front and back if you don't have them. Do you have a Ring/eufy?

I'd call the police, so they can scare him into stopping. God knows what home situation is, sounds like an extreme form of attention seeking.

DDiva · 01/06/2021 12:54

Why on earth haven't you spoken to the parent. I get that they dont care if the boy is running in gardens and causing a nuisance, but I'd assume he doesn't want the boy in danger !

Speak to them and if it doesn't stop speak to the police, I dread to think the consequences if you dont react quickly enough one day.

Billybagpuss · 01/06/2021 13:05

First call should be to try the parent, but that does sound like you’ll be met with disinterest.
Definitely get dash cams so you can build up a history to give you some defence if anything truly awful happens and he gets hurt (or worse) as a result. As at the moment if you run him over it is your fault.
Then call 101, again you log the problem, they may have advice for you, and armed with dash cam evidence they may go and talk to the family.

DespairingHomeowner · 01/06/2021 13:05

This is awful & must be so stressful for you. I'd agree with comments on dashcam & security camera for your home - for your own peace of mind.

Meanwhile, I'd speak to the parents, but also police, AND social services - something must be pretty bad at home for kids to be acting up in this way

Mydarlingmyhamburger · 01/06/2021 13:23

I agree with police and social services. He’s literally putting lives at danger

Babbly · 01/06/2021 13:44

You need to speak to the parents. If you end up hitting him and they sue you, you'd want it on record that you spoke to them in advance. They can't control what they don't know about.

Bargebill19 · 01/06/2021 13:46

Agree with others. Dash cams and speak to his parent and police.

In the meantime, I suggest you always have a hose ready, after all you need to wash your car and may just have a leak on your drive which needs hosing off everytime you need to go out. Shame a child spooked you whilst you were using it and you turned around sharply and they got soaked ……

gamerchick · 01/06/2021 13:48

I'd ring the local police station for advice tbh. This needs recorded as a problem for any potential accident.

rookiemere · 01/06/2021 13:49

What age is the boy ?

OhRene · 01/06/2021 13:51

Dash cams front and back. I would never be without at least one dash cam.

Speak to child's parents (record if need be so you have evidence of telling them). If the child does it just one more time, then inform the police. That way you'll have some slight evidence that the child is acting dangerously by jumping in front of your car or crouching down in front of it before you set off etc.

BlueDucky · 01/06/2021 13:53

Speak to parents just so you can say you have either way then escalate to police

TheoMeo · 01/06/2021 13:54

Yes, I was going to say dash cam. I don't have one but looks like 40-50£ on amazon.

WeAllHaveWings · 01/06/2021 14:03

You need to tell the parents first, then if it continues look for support elsewhere. You just need to phrase it in a way that you are concerned for his safety.

Can't imagine the guilt i would feel if the child gets run over and I didn't at least tell the parents.

Theunamedcat · 01/06/2021 14:05

Dash cam and next time he blocks your driveway put your hand on your horn and press it

MaybeCrazy2 · 01/06/2021 14:08

First, dash cam, without a shadow of doubt so you can prove he does this incase of a accident.

Then parents,
Then police.

Soubriquet · 01/06/2021 14:13

You need to speak to the parents first

If that doesn’t work, contact 101 and get the local community officer to come out and have a word

Make sure you have dashcams both front and back

You need to be completely proactive in showing that if this child gets hit by your car, you have done everything humanly possible to avoid it

itsgettingwierd · 01/06/2021 14:24

Totally agree with dash and back window cam immediately.

First point of call to cover your back.

We had this and I'd beep the horn really loud every single time. This only served to piss off my NDN but once I explained why I had the backing of them and someone came with me to confront dad. We also discovered i wasn't the only one who's car he liked to run in front of.

Eventually the family had to move. The kid decided one day to go around collecting plant pots off the street and smashing then through car windows and scratching a whole row of cars front to back.

No one actually confronted the family nastily and there was no mon attack (the police dealt with it) but all the kids use to go in if he came out (their own houses or gardens of friends) as they didn't want to be around him so weren't implicated when he behaved this way.

I did have empathy for the family. Dad always seemed mortified at his behaviour so you realise there is more to it than bad parenting.

I often hope their fresh start gave the kid and family a new opportunity.

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