Ex withholding part of maintenance

[Flappypants]

Hi

I've put this on the divorce/separation page as well but I'm not sure how active it is there and I'm getting a bit worried.

I was wondering if someone could help with what I can do in my situation. My ex pays a certain amount every month (often late) and this month he is £340 down on what the court order states (agreed at final hearing). He was a financially, sexually, emotionally and psychologically abusive man and is a narcissistic bully.

What redress do I have without spending nearly that amount on solicitors or court fees? I have called the court and it will cost me £215 just to have a form done. A solicitor is £240 + VAT.
He will know all of this and can just withhold the money and be smug about it knowing I can't really do anything about it. He just wants to get me to engage with him and get into an argument over text which I won't do (I have as little contact as possible on the advice of the police and Women's Aid...who had us in a refuge for a few days).

He pled penury in court "resigning" himself to the fact that he can't buy a house, leaving me with not enough to buy somewhere myself, yet managed, two weeks after finalising the arrangements to buy a £750,000 house with an Aston on the drive and lots of lovely new things in it (I see it when the children have video contact calls with me).

He's being an a-hole but what can I actually do?

Thanks for reading!

Can't you go through cms and then report to them that he hasn't paid they get direct pay through his wages as he's not reliable with payments?

It’s unlikely to be in her interests to go to cma both because they’re crap and also because the court order is likely to be more. There is often a good reason why it’s more.

I’m hoping there are no race to the bottom posts on here about how “that’s loads, I get 50p for 6 kids” - that’s irrelevant.

I’d take him to court anyway. He’ll have to pay and it’s worth cutting off your nose with this type of man.

I’d take him to court anyway. He’ll have to pay and it’s worth cutting off your nose with this type of man.

Agree

I'm not an expert but would have thought if you go through the courts you would potentially be able to claim costs back from him as well?

Take him to court again

@hamstersarse

I’d take him to court anyway. He’ll have to pay and it’s worth cutting off your nose with this type of man.

Agree

I agree with this. He is testing you. It will be nothing soon.

Keep as much evidence as you can. I agree there’s no point in chasing for 1 month’s shortfall, but there would be if he repeats it. Revenge is a dish etc

Go back to court. Even if you are no better off financially after it, you are showing him you won't just roll over.

Do you have to have a solicitor? It would be a very simple case of he hasn't paid wouldn't it?

I agree about going back to court. If you think effectively what he said in the original hearing is a blatant lie, then seek advice as to whether to have the amounts increased.

Jeffrey Archer went to prison for perjury, not sure if it can apply to court hearings over maintenance.

The other thing about suddenly being able to afford an Aston Martin is how the money was found. Is he tax dodging?

Enforcement order plus costs paid from his side if you let him get away with it once he will do it again

Enforcement order

Unfortunately your only redress is court. And he knows that - he knows it will cost you money and take a lot of time and energy.

It's actually economic abuse. My ex is the same. Power and control. Bastards.

Back to court you go!

Bite back harder. Court, and appoint a forensic accountant to find out where he’s stashing money, then take him to court for that too. While in the short run expensive, in the long run those are assets that will help your children when you get your fair share. Anything else just allows his financial coercion to continue.

I'd take a photo of his house and Aston and take that to my solicitor and let them use that in court. Let the dickhead sweat a bit as he'll have to prove how he bought them yet claims to be poor.

Go back to court. Yes, it will cost you in the short-term but unfortunately you have to stand up to bullies.

If you don't take him to court and show him you won't roll over and let him do this he will just pay less and less every month. Nip it in the bud now and claim court costs against him too.

Ask your solicitor, but I'm pretty sure that if it's his fault, he will have to pay the £340 he owes you, plus the court fee, plus your solicitors fees.

So you'll have to find the money up front but will be able to get it back from him once you have the court order.

Seems worth pursuing the court route so that he knows he can't push you around.

Photo of the house and the Aston, send to HMRC. He probably is tax dodging.

@SmokeyDevil

I'd take a photo of his house and Aston and take that to my solicitor and let them use that in court. Let the dickhead sweat a bit as he'll have to prove how he bought them yet claims to be poor.

agreed 🌷

I can’t remember if the court can award costs - I think so - but you should definitely claim interest - it’s at 8% on court judgments I think, which is amazing!

Do it straight away imo, but defo within a year as it’s harder.

NB - I have done this and he settled (ie paid without need for a hearing)

If this is spousal maintenance you can apply for enforcement of the order. Can't remember which forms but you can do the paperwork yourself to save on solicitors. Unfortunately an application can ignite a challenge by him to reduce the maintenance altogether if he is pleasing poverty. My exhusband did this regarding a joint lives spousal maintenance order. Very stressful but did work out in the end as I was awarded capitalised maintenance and a clean break. Types like your exhusband will always try it on. Not sure how old you are but you can ask for pension share as part of the settlement.

Hi all

Sorry for the late response and thank you SO much for all of your responses. It turns out he reduced the amount because the physio we alternate weeks with and pay for separately charged his card when it was my turn. I'm checking whether they really did charge him for five sessions he claims they incorrectly charged him because they only think it's two and they reimbursed him.

It's still unilateral and it's up to the clinic to reimburse him and not for him just to reduce the maintenance. The two are separate. Do you agree?

And.....he definitely does dodgy things with the tax side of things. He's put £12k sheds through the business with no intention of using it for business purposes, TVs...all sorts. I'm scrabbling trying to get myself into a position to get a mortgage but we live in a place where the average three bed house costs £400k (and that's ambitious) and so my only option is trying shared ownership. Meanwhile, as you say, he's happy as Larry spending all over the shop.

I know that he was preparing for years as he knew I would probably leave him for his abusive ways eventually. I did appoint a forensic accountant but he managed to pull the wool over her eyes and she agreed he had nothing in the business (£300k operating wiggle room)....I've recently looked at the company returns and it's increased to over a million so something isn't quite right there. It would have cost me £30k I couldn't raise to take it to final hearing so it had to be by consent at the FDR. Getting away from him cost me £100k in court fees anyway, even though we went to a refuge and he was clearly an abuser. The courts don't care though. The law is an ass, as they say!

I'll mull on taking him back....I haven't seen the Aston for a while, so maybe it's a red herring but he's certainly been up to no good.

Thanks again everyone xxx