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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not inviting cousins to wedding

26 replies

awkwardusername · 31/05/2021 22:33

I know this has been done a million times but long story short:

  • fiancée and I got engaged last week
  • always said we want a very small wedding (parents/siblings/grandparents only, however my auntie is over from Kenya around the time we are hoping to get married so we have decided to invite aunties/uncles provided we have seen them in the last couple of years)
  • his family are very close, all live within five minutes of each other; he is the only male in his generation so was never as close to them; they don’t like me (for “stealing him away” even though we visit regularly)
  • reiterated to his family we want a small wedding and his parents/sister immediately shouted that we “have to invite” his cousins
  • we weren’t intending on it, and still don’t want to (four cousins, four of their partners and nine children between them)
  • not having an evening do but will have a big party at some point in the future which they would of course be invited to
  • cousins have previously been very unpleasant to me, however I’ve told my fiancé that if he wants to invite them, we can. He’s adamant he doesn’t want to but is now upset with his family, which is obviously awful

I know it’s our wedding and we can invite who we want but the animosity from his family will be awful. Are we being horrible to not invite them?

OP posts:
Journeylikenomother · 01/06/2021 21:19

Stick to your guns.

I didn't for mine, I gave in to the pressure from gossiping aunt's and cousins and invited them all "to keep the peace"... Then there was another issue from them about me not inviting partners of cousins....then my hen wasn't how they wanted it....then seating arrangements..... It went on and on! There was always something I wasn't doing right.

Hold strong!!!!!

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