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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

another neighbours thread.. they removed the fence for entrance!

41 replies

obvsnotasecretgarden · 31/05/2021 21:14

So we moved into this property (semi detached) in January of this year and our garden clearly had two fences, obviously one is shared with our neighbours. The road has sets of two houses attached etc.

We didn't hear nothing from our new neighbours until April as we came to find out they was in their home country and just returned. From the first day they arrived back, it all started. The children (boys, 12,10,7) literally start making noise at 11pm and don't stop until around 5am.

If I knew the walls were this thin I would have never even moved in but hey ho I thought I have a 3 year old and a new baby soon so at least they can't complain with a crying baby.

But like clockwork 11pm they start shouting, playing, fighting, blasting music, it's like clockwork. Me and Dh look at each other at 22:59 and then it all starts!

anyways, my baby was born last month and as the sun has come out I've been spending a lot of time in garden with my toddler and baby. I noticed that the shared fence is literally lower! like they've got rid of some slats.. the dad comes out while I'm there and , says "Oh my sons love to look over and speak to other children" I replied with "I don't think you should have took it off.. I like my privacy and my daughter is quite a lot younger than your sons so I don't think they will be chatting a lot" he then made out he couldn't understand me, nodded and walked off. (English isn't my first language either but I'm fluent and have a semi London accent)

5 mins later the sons were out climbing up the fence trying to talk to dd who didn't want to, said hi and carried on playing.
When my inlaws came round later that evening, they was just stood looking over at us, so my MIL stupidly out of kindness decided to invite them over as my nephews who are around the same age was here. I was really annoyed but thought oh well. They literally climbed over the fence and played.

Every single day since then, they've tried just climbing over and I've repeatedly told them not to, they keep telling me their garden is boring! (It's gorgeous but the parents clearly made it as not a child friendly garden so there is no room for them to run around because they've added a pond etc)
Also for the past 4 days, they've been telling delivery men to leave their post and parcels at my house, which I wouldn't mind but the parcels are like furniture, massive tall boxes and there was 10 at one point, all in my living room. I told the Yodel man, I'm not accepting it but he was on the phone to neighbour at the time and the neighbour was like "Please" So I felt pressured.

Our houses are 2 up 2 down and small, and my living room for days has been cramped with their items!

and it finally came to a head today when I went out in the back garden and noticed the fence down the bottom of the garden was different.. I went to look and they've removed the fence completely bar leaving 3 wooden slats. The man was in his flower shed and I asked him "What on earth are you doing" and he said "So our children can play with each other with easy access" I lost it completely and told him to fix the fence properly.

I have no clue what on earth to do, my husband keeps telling me to just tell the kids repeatedly to leave us alone, and he will have a word when he catches them (he does shift work)

What would you do?

OP posts:
schoolfinder007 · 31/05/2021 21:17

I would be putting up my own fence

And refusing further parcels.

BlatantlyNameChanged · 31/05/2021 21:19

Honestly? If I could afford to do it, I'd move. Failing that I'd put up a bigger fence, refuse to accept parcels, and be cordial but remote during any encounters.

Vanannabananna · 31/05/2021 21:19

If I could afford it I’d put up my own fence within my boundary. I’d also Keep refusing their parcels

Honeyroar · 31/05/2021 21:19

I’d buy the biggest, strongest, concrete fence at maximum height and put it up. It’d be worth the money! If not I’d get a solicitor to write them a letter telling them to put the fence back as it was originally or you’ll sue. I’d also put a notice on your door/gate that no parcels for other houses to be left.

It sounds like they probably come from a different culture where people live in each other’s pockets more.

Wilkolampshade · 31/05/2021 21:21

Personally? Build a fucking great fence on my side of the boundary and start lobbing grenades over.

smartiecake · 31/05/2021 21:22

Is the fence they have tampered with their responsibility?
If so I would be tempted to put my own fence - as tall as possible - within your own boundary so then they can't touch it.
And absolutely definitely do not accept any parcels. Put a big note on the door - we do not accept parcels for any neighbours. Please don't knock.
As for the noise - you could speak to them? And if that doesn't work you can report them to the council for being a noise nuisance.
Or you could move. I would move if possible. I think they will always cause issues

paniniswapx3 · 31/05/2021 21:23

Agree with all the others - put the fence up yourself and refuse to take in any future parcels.

DeathStare · 31/05/2021 21:23

Put up your fence just onto your property.

Put a sign up on your door saying you will not accept deliveries from the neighbours.

Stick a note through their letterbox giving them 24 hours to collect the parcels that are already there or you will dump them on their doorstep.

SilverOtter · 31/05/2021 21:23

I'd build a huge wall, dig a moat and strategically place archers along the top of it.

Slippy78 · 31/05/2021 21:23

Put your own fence up.

Freddiefox · 31/05/2021 21:23

Stop taking their parcels. Put up a fence, be civil but firm

Louise1051 · 31/05/2021 21:26

I agree, tell them you won’t accept parcels and they need to be in for delivery and then refuse if it happens again.

It definitely feels like they are taking advantage of you and you need to put your foot down!

Elouera · 31/05/2021 21:27

Who owns the fence on the deeds that keeps 'disappearing'? If yours, write a letter to them and ask for it to be returned. If not yours, add a tall trellis on your side or a roll of screening. Keep telling their children to stop jumping the fence and speak to the parents each time. Also, WHY keep taking in furniture? They clearly can't be bothered to have it delivered when they will be in, because the neighbour (YOU) always accepts it for them!

StoneofDestiny · 31/05/2021 21:32

Check out who's fence it is, if it's yours tell them in writing to get it replaced otherwise you will get a solicitor involved.

Otherwise put up you own much bigger fence with no climbing footholds.
Refuse all parcels and mail. Get up a note saying you are not accepting mail for anyone.
Tell the neighbours explicitly about the noise nuisance and that you do not want the kids in your garden ever.
Sell up.

Cherrysoup · 31/05/2021 21:32

He sounds very entitled, this bloke! Insist he fixes the fence, tell him your dd is not interested in playing with his kids. Tell him to get all his parcels and that you won’t take any more. He’s a cheeky fucker of the first order!

StoneofDestiny · 31/05/2021 21:33

OP, you need to toughen up.

user1471538283 · 31/05/2021 21:33

I would put up a very tall fence on my side and tell them straight that his children are not to come in your garden and you will not be taking in anymore parcels. Whilst his children are with you you are responsible for them and you have enough looking after your own. It's free childcare for your neighbours.

The next delivery you state that no you will not take them and keep repeating it.

Keep saying no.

MootMoot · 31/05/2021 21:35

Put a tall fence up on your side of the boundary.

Duchess379 · 31/05/2021 21:38

Build a 10ft fence & put barbed wire in the top?! And unplug the doorbell so you can't hear their deliveries....

Beautiful3 · 31/05/2021 21:40

Put up your own fence 6ft, next to it. That wat they can't touch it. Get a ring door bell, talk though it and check with the courier who the parcel is for. If they say next door, just say I'm out or no thanks. Perhaps look into sound proofing the shared wall.

obvsnotasecretgarden · 31/05/2021 21:43

I think what gave them this light bulb moment that they can take advantage is, my husband is from their neighbouring country and was quite pally with them while doing the gardening so I'm blaming him.

OP posts:
IamaBluebird · 31/05/2021 21:47

You need a decent fence, not just for privacy, but you say your neighbours have a pond. don’t want your toddler getting near that .

mrsdavegrohl · 31/05/2021 21:51

I'd be seriously worried about your 3 year old and their pond.

Put a fence up and move. This won't get better.

itsgettingwierd · 31/05/2021 21:53

Yep fence on your boundary your side of the current one.

And refuse parcels.

Just practice saying "no, I won't accept the parcel"

Tistheseason17 · 31/05/2021 21:55

@schoolfinder007

I would be putting up my own fence

And refusing further parcels.

^^ This