To ask for help with my sex issue-has anyone just suddenly noticed been able to 'get there?'

[PatchWorkAnnie]

Please- and sorry, I know this is perhaps not the best place to post but I'm desperate.

I'm actually really upset.

I don't orgasm easily and never have but recently and seemingly suddenly, this has turned into that I usually I just can't.

And on the odd occasion I do,it is far less intense than it used to be. I used to get lots of pleasure, now, sometimes I just seem to get the muscle contractions once or twice and that's it.

My clitoris seems to lack sensation now. I also don't get as excited, but sometimes even when my partner has spent ages turning me on, it still doesn't work.

Factors that may be contributing-

1. i had a terrible kidney infection following rough sex recently, could something have become permentanly damaged/dropped off? This issue came about 2 months after though. 2) I use hair removal cream-could I have burnt it?
2. Psychological? I'm pretty numb recently. I'm in counselling for abusive relationships and tend to be in a bit of a fog and on a simpler level,I'm worried i won't orgasm so perhaps I stop myself? I sort of feel myself doing it. My partner now is absolutely lovely and willing to do whatever it takes and I feel guilty! But this also feels so unfair, I want to have great sex now I'm finally happy and out of the abusive situation and this feels almost cruel . Has anyone had similar? I take b12 supplements and have just had my levels tested, it isn't that. I'm fit and healthy in every way I can think. No hormonal changes not pregnant/menopausal. Late 30s.

Sorry about the title-should be 'Not been able', not ',noticed'.

Was going to say B12 and perimenopause for me, but you’ve covered both of those.

Given you’re having counselling for emotional issues I’d imagine it could be more of an emotional block than a physical one. Do you struggle to switch your brain off sometimes? I find it only happens when I’m totally lost in the moment - usually with some filthy talk from DP - and if there’s even the slightest interruption to my thoughts I can lose it totally.

Hope you get it sorted. It’s quite worrying when you think it may never happen again isn’t it?!

BTW late 30s you could be starting to have some menopause symptoms - it is early but not unheard of, so if you don’t get it sorted thats something you could look into. If you don’t have any other symptoms then maybe some oestrogen cream directly applied could help down there.

Are you on any medication at all - anti depressants can have that effect

Are you taking anti depressants? Sertraline did that to me, all returned to normal when I stopped taking them.

How rough was this 'rough sex', was it actually as consensual as it should be and was it with the partner you have now?

It doesn't sound very conducive to relaxing if you've been hurt that badly so recently.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

How rough was this 'rough sex', was it actually as consensual as it should be and was it with the partner you have now?

It doesn't sound very conducive to relaxing if you've been hurt that badly so recently.

Very,just used a toy that was too big. Was horrible afterwards I'm not a wimp but so painful! But yes it was consensual I'm just bloody stupid. I am easily hurt down there, have always been a bit delicate. Thanks for all the replies. No medication at all. I take vitamins/an amino acid supplement and b12 that is all.

I have used anti depressants in the past and they did this to me too.