To be doing things with her, without him?

[Alfrescodrinking]

Dd will be turning 3 in the summer. My parents are coming over (we live abroad) so we’ll do something special with them on her actual birthday. I was planning a small gathering/party with a few of her little friends, a couple of weeks before her birthday. This would have to be on a weekday afternoon, due to the venue not catering for parties on a weekend. Dh would be at work, other partners wouldn’t come and it would really just be my mum friends with their little ones. Does that seem weird for Dh not to be at her birthday party though?
Also, I really wanted to take her to the cinema for the first time, Dh works Saturdays too and doesn’t seem fussed about taking her, although I see it as quite a special first time thing to do, would it be odd to take it to that by myself too? 🤷🏻‍♀️
Not sure if I’m overthinking this!

*Take her

Not unreasonable at all.

Your overthinking it. If DH doesnt mind then there isnt an issue. If these things are important for you to have DH there too then speak to him and see if he can book some time off.

My DH was rarely at the DC birthday parties

Not strange at all. You're celebrating as a family on the actual day and doing a gathering with friends to celebrate before her birthday. It can't be helped that your OH works on a Saturday so you just have to go ahead and go to the cinema without him. If you wait for OH you'll never do anything with your DD.

If you’ve discussed it with OH and you’re no th happy with the arrangements then it’s absolutely fine. Perhaps you can do something else as a family, always nice to do something all together too.

Not U considering it's not even going to be her birthday yet and you will be doing something else on her birthday, I know my DH wouldn't be bothered by it anyway

It's fine. I used to do loads with dd2 without DH at that age. I don't think he was at her 3rd birthday party, which was fine because he didn't know anyone there anyway. Don't worry about it, if you're all happy with it. Just make sure you ask someone to take photos of the cake etc, as you can't take photos at the same time as carrying the cake and singing happy birthday.

I think it's fine. I also remember taking my first child to the cinema for the first time and it feeling really special. It was just me and him as his dad didn't mind. It is really nice having one on one time with your child as you can focus just on them so I'd make the most of it.

I don’t think YABU at all. Keep him informed of your plans and always make the offer to include him but otherwise crack on.

I do most things this way now tbh (dd is 5), he’s just not as arsed about the kind of trips and events I know she will enjoy and I would get pleasure from introducing her to so I’d rather just get on with it than drag a reluctant but willing adult along. It’s his loss from my perspective.

We solved problems like this by having more than one party.

Dh often missed parties and days out due to shift work, DC didn't mind and don't remember

We did a weekday party for her little friends and their mums then a family party at the weekend. Also cinema at that age isn't always that fun, he won't miss much!

As long as dh is at her actual birthday that's fine imo - her party is for her and her friends. First time at the cinema isn't a big deal, if he's not bothered then go ahead x

Little parties (ie before school age) here often are just a few mothers group friends things in a park, soft play or something. I think that at this point, it’s a matter of having a nice time, gently teaching the format, etc. They have to be supervised so strongly at this age. And all done before naps.

Too big an event is old fashioned tears before bedtime, I think.

My exh rarely came to the kids school friend parties, I had to 3 line whip him 6 weeks in advance. He hated them.

Yeah I think you're overthinking it especially the cinema trip.