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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Does anyone else feel like this about taking their child out ?

17 replies

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:33

I'm double vaccinated and have a pandemic baby. He's just shy of one and a half. We've been pretty much shielding because I have a medical condition.

We have only just started going out into the world and I'm so worried about him now. We went to a busy shopping centre, out to eat etc and to different playgrounds recently. It's the first time we are doing those things and I can't help but feel guilty that I'm doing these things and putting him at risk.

I won't send him to nursery yet, also because I'm worried about him getting sick. I have other child care arrangements, as I work full time.

I'm worried about him getting near other children and feel bad for having taken him to crowded places.

Before you ask, yes I've been in therapy. But my therapy has ended now and I've been told that I'm OK, that my reactions are entirely reasonable, taking into account what we've all experienced in the last year and that it will all take time to get used to the new way of being.

Does anyone else feel the same about their child ?

OP posts:

Pinot4evs · 31/05/2021 10:36

Not at all, I feel the opposite in fact.

I feel my toddler has missed out on a year of her life and I want to make up for lost time and take her to as many places and do as many things as possible before these precious years are gone!

Original poster

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:36

@Pinot4evs

Not at all, I feel the opposite in fact.

I feel my toddler has missed out on a year of her life and I want to make up for lost time and take her to as many places and do as many things as possible before these precious years are gone!

That's really great to hear!

They've missed out on so much.

OP posts:

CandyFIosss · 31/05/2021 10:37

Nope the risks to kids it’s pretty much non existent

Mollymalone123 · 31/05/2021 10:39

I understand how you feel but really your child mustn’t miss out anymore- you need to get out and about and I expect that the more you do the easier and more relaxed you will become.I’m sure you’re not the only new parent who feels this way and it’s natural to be anxious but don’t let the anxiety control you and your child’s life xx

Original poster

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:39

@CandyFIosss yes it's true. But my small brain just can't get past the fact of not wanting him to catch it. We've been bombarded with covid = death for so long, I just can't get my head around the fact that he could catch it. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself that I allowed him to catch it, just because I wanted to take him to a restaurant or whatever it was.

OP posts:

Original poster

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:41

@Mollymalone123

I am definitely doing it ! I have to. But feel split about it. As you say, I'm sure it will get easier. Thank you for understanding.

OP posts:

CandyFIosss · 31/05/2021 10:42

If it helps I have 4 and they (and me) have never had it 🤷‍♀️ They’ve been at school the whole time.

Original poster

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:43

@CandyFIosss

If it helps I have 4 and they (and me) have never had it 🤷‍♀️ They’ve been at school the whole time.

Definitely. Really happy to hear you've all been well !

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 31/05/2021 10:43

All the research shows that small children are at the least risk from Covid-19. On a balance of risks, it’s worse for him if you display your anxiety and avoid new experiences for and with him, because learning at this age happens through doing, seeing, touching, exploring.

pastabest · 31/05/2021 10:43

No. I keep trying to tap my 4 year old up for information about which children in her class are off with chicken pox in the hope that one of them soon will be someone we know well enough for her to go and lick.

I love bugs, the more bugs the better at a young age to build their immune system in my opinion.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do though. It sounds really hard, but honestly the best thing you can do for your children is to expose them to as many common bugs as possible.

I think this is one of those things that every time you go out and do it it will start feeling more and more normal and less scary each time you manage it and all the intrusive thoughts don't come to fruition.

QforCucumber · 31/05/2021 10:47

No. I have a 5 year old and an 11 month old who was born in the height of lockdown. I've been back at work since he was 9 months, he's been in full time nursery since then. This weekend we've been to 2 separate family parties and it breaks my heart that this is the first time he's met most of the people there.

SirVixofVixHall · 31/05/2021 10:48

I think the shift is really hard. My second vaccine is this week, I wasn’t shielding but in group 6, and we have been very careful all along. My dd is really struggling with the worry of catching Covid and bringing it home, (DH is not at increased risk, but he is almost 50).
I think it is the sudden shift that is hard for her, all her friends having group get togethers.
It is really hard to change your mindset OP, I sympathise. Just go very gently, very small things one at a time. It has been a shocking experience for so many.

Original poster

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:48

@pastabest

I love bugs, the more bugs the better at a young age to build their immune system in my opinion.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do though. It sounds really hard, but honestly the best thing you can do for your children is to expose them to as many common bugs as possible.

Aw I wish I had your attitude !!

He's had a couple of bugs. I would say 3 now.

The first one was so bad we had to stay in hospital for a few nights. It came out of nowhere and the fever just would not go down. I think it really scarred me.

I'm getting a bit more comfortable now. He has a other couple of bugs and it was just a few days and I managed it at home.

But that first one was so terrifying. Also because at the time he was tiny and covid was rife. Everyone was terrified of hospitals, because we didn't want to catch covid from the hospital. So nothing felt safe.

Bad times !

OP posts:

Pleasedontsayyouloveme · 31/05/2021 10:49

I felt like you OP. The more I started going out the better it got though, and the less worried I felt about DD getting poorly.

Skyla2005 · 31/05/2021 10:50

If you don't let your child socialise with other children he will be massively affected He won't know how to play or be with other children. That is far more damaging than a one in a million chance of him catching COVID and even if he did he would not have any symptoms from it. You owe it to him to get a grip now and start letting him have a normal life before it's too late

Original poster

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:51

Really happy to hear that. He's so friendly. He loves people and other kids and gets right up close to them. I always pull him away. I don't even know what the correct etiquette is with that ? He's my first obviously and I don't want to upset other parents by letting him get close to their kids. Or is that OK and normal ? I just don't know anymore !

OP posts:

Original poster

highhorses · 31/05/2021 10:52

When I say ' always ' pull him away.. we've only been to a playground twice. So it's not an ' always ' thing. Any advice on playground etiquette appreciated.

OP posts:

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