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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Overly critical management - AIBU

3 replies

Topia · 30/05/2021 13:38

I am currently being line-managed by a long-term colleague who has recently been promoted into a managerial position. Just for context, I've been in this workplace, working alongside her but in different teams for approx. 11 years. I am very experienced, and have been told by previous managers that I serve the Team well, deliver in operational terms and have had no performance issues whatsoever. I enjoy my part-time job and all has been going fine. I've recently moved across to a new Team and she has been my manager for about 10 months.

Initially things were ok, I got on with the job, she would send me tasks which I'd pick up and run with. But........literally in the last two months things have suddenly seemed to take a nose-dive. She has started to pick at everything I do, I can't seem to do right for doing wrong. I get a ticking off or a reprimand on a weekly basis. There's no positive dialogue or delivery, just critical micro-management. Examples;

If I'm away from my desk for more than five mins I get a message asking where I am.
I turned up on time to an introductory meeting with a provider and she was running late so I went in and started casual dialogue. She was over 15 mins late, she arrived with a colleague and the meeting went well. I then got a follow-up email asking me not to go into meetings alone, to go in together and wait for her in future. I thought I was doing the polite and professional thing but obviously not.
She's constantly checking my calendar, sends emails after mine (if I've sent an email to the Team with advice/process support) either clarifying minute details or adding more info.

I honestly feel slightly heckled by her! I wondered if it's because she's been newly promoted and she's flexing her muscles. But she knows I turn up, do the work and will conscientiously do it to the best of my ability.

I'm beginning to worry, I feel like I'm stepping on eggshells! The other person she supervises is also a long-term colleague of hers - years ago we all worked in the same Team together and I would bet money on it that he's not getting the same treatment. He wouldn't stand for it anyway!

What do I do? I'm beginning to think I might have to say something to her (politely of course!) but I really don't understand the reason for the constant nit-picking and the severity of her "management tone" which is totally disproportionate. She makes me feel like a naughty and incompetent schoolgirl. It's really unpleasant.

What do I do?

OP posts:
Minstrelsgetinmybelly · 30/05/2021 14:10

Ahhhh I hate management like this. I tend to find she’s had her ass handed to her for not performing (which is why it’s suddenly changed) and she’s taking that stress and issues out on you.

There’s two options, can you move teams to get away from them. Or yeah I do think they need some feedback otherwise it will never change.

Best way to lead is with feelings, people can’t argue with feelings. For example:

  1. why do you keep checking up on me when I’m away from my desk for longer than 5 minutes, do you not trust me?
  2. it’s making me feel untrusted and uncomfortable when you ask me where I am when I’ve been away from from desk for longer than 5 mins. Is there an issue, am I not performing or can we talk about flexible working?

Both say the same things but if you lead with I am feeling or this is making me feel it should get a better response.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 30/05/2021 14:13

Thus happened to me years ago. Turned out they were making me redundant and wanted to undermine my confidence

Merryoldgoat · 30/05/2021 14:14

What do you mean ‘he wouldn’t stand for it’? Why are you?

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