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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think you should not demand more information if someone is exempt from mask wearing?

239 replies

youngandbroken · 30/05/2021 12:30

I know the importance of wearing a mask, and genuinely try to wear one when I can however I have CPTSD and some days are far, far worse than others (I tend to avoid going out where possible on these days). Today is one of those days, I live in a tower block and just went to put the bins out - that's all and had a woman stop me getting back up to my flat and have a go at me for not wearing a mask. I'm not comfortable explaining that I have mental illnesses, let alone explaining what caused those. I apologised and said that I am exempt to which she said NO your not, there are elderly people in this flat block. I know this and will always stay as far away from everyone as possible, constant hand washing and sanitizing and again I will wear a mask whenever I can do that without having a major panic attack. I ended up explaining but that then caused another panic attack.
All I was trying to do was take the bins out, there wasn't anyone else in the hallway when I went in, the woman followed me - if she had been there already I would have waited. Am I wrong to think that you shouldn't ask people to explain why they are exempt? I know there are people who do take the mick but there are also many who are genuine.

OP posts:
BlatantlyNameChanged · 31/05/2021 20:30

People start to struggle with people who can’t be arsed wearing a mask

But you can't tell from looking who genuinely cannot wear a mask and who just can't be arsed, the whole point of invisible conditions is that they are invisible which is why members of the public should not be challenging people for not wearing a mask.

Spikeyball · 31/05/2021 20:37

"The problem here is that many doctors, surgeons, nurses have all been very vocal that there is no reason."

No 'many' haven't. A few lacking in knowledge of medical conditions outside there own area may think that.

MercyBooth · 31/05/2021 20:40

i struggle with people who spout the community rhetoric when its Covid related but then turn a blind eye when its anything else.

So welcome to my world!

SamW98 · 31/05/2021 20:40

@BlatantlyNameChanged

Ultimately, for the greater good, those that refuse to wear masks should not be permitted in indoor areas. There's very little that they couldn't do online. Why should the majority be out at risk.

"Ultimately, for the greater good, disabled people and people with psychological issues should not be permitted in indoor areas. There's very little that they couldn't do online. Why should the normal people be put at risk?"

That is how ridiculous you sound. A handful of people not wearing masks is not the reason why numbers are increasing and is not contributing to the rise in cases.

Repulsive isn't it. The fact some people just seem to think those with certain disabilities should just be locked away in their own homes away from the rest of society - no matter that going out and doing things for themselves might be the only way they are keeping their mental health above water But seeing as a friends teenage daughter who has Downs was banned from a supermarket because she didn't have a lanyard to 'prove' her disability, nothing sadly shocks me anyone. Disgusts me but doesn't shock me
Merryhobnobs · 31/05/2021 20:47

O one is entitled to ask anyone else. No one is asked to question anyone else on illnesses or disabilities. It's rude, abelist and yes there are people who don't behave but that doesn't give anyone the right to interrogate anyone else. I wear a mask and obey the rules. I would like other people to do the same but I will not question others because I am not entitled.

Blossomtoes · 31/05/2021 20:50

@Temp023

I find a hearty” Oh, off to fuck with you!” Generally works well!
Absolutely. Since when has wearing a mask to put the bins out been mandatory.
Sockwomble · 31/05/2021 20:53

"However there are people who dont understand and question it. I dont deny anyone the right to tell them to fuck off but people saying they dont have the right are wrong!"

Yes I totally get you think people have the right to harass vulnerable people such as those with a learning disability if it makes them feel better.

Imnothereforthedrama · 31/05/2021 20:57

Masks do fuck all to stop the spread so stop the judging of the disabled and vulnerable who can’t stand up for themselves. Does it make you feel better to question someone? if so take a good hard look at yourself.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 31/05/2021 22:18

@Sometimeswinning

No one minds people who genuinely can’t wear one! It’s the latter group

The problem here is that many doctors, surgeons, nurses have all been very vocal that there is no reason. If someone has a learning disability fair enough. If someone has diagnosed themselves, their choice. However there are people who dont understand and question it. I dont deny anyone the right to tell them to fuck off but people saying they dont have the right are wrong!

I have 1 mum in DC's school who doesnt wear one. I've not asked her why but funnily enough, knowing her, I knew she'd be that person!

@Sometimeswinning so people have the right to ask if someone has a learning disability - and them answering yea would make it OK?

Many HCP's - and the actual government - have stressed there's many reason for not wearing a mask

SamW98 · 31/05/2021 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sometimeswinning · 31/05/2021 23:48

Absolutely. Protect the vulnerable my arse. Its actually increased discrimination against disabled people and given the little Hitlers out there an excuse to bully and harass as they see fit using Covid as an excuse

Let's all not wear masks then. I'd prefer it personally.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 01/06/2021 00:00

@Sometimeswinning

Absolutely. Protect the vulnerable my arse. Its actually increased discrimination against disabled people and given the little Hitlers out there an excuse to bully and harass as they see fit using Covid as an excuse

Let's all not wear masks then. I'd prefer it personally.

OR

Wear masks if you can

Don't if you can't

Quite simple really

stopgap · 01/06/2021 00:02

Genuine question, and not meant to be incendiary, but is the UK the only country in the world to issue mask exemptions during Covid?

Sometimeswinning · 01/06/2021 00:26

^Wear masks if you can

Don't if you can't

Quite simple really^

Or

Masks are really important and everyone should wear them.

Unless you dont want to, it doesn't really matter.

This why people question others and have every right to. Just as someone without a mask has the right to ignore or tell them to fuck off.

Simple.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 01/06/2021 00:37

No you do NOT have a right to question others?

I'll ask this again as no one has answered - what do you even want to know when you ask people why they aren't wearing a mask? Would you feel better if they told you they'd been gagged when raped and it triggers their PTSD? Tell me - what will you gain from knowing the specifics instead of assuming there's a good reason for not wearing a mask?

Malteser71 · 01/06/2021 00:40

What about when people demand you wear them outside?

I was queuing with my children for an ice cream over the weekend at a tourist destination. Owner of ice cream van had a massive sign saying ‘these are the rules.’ One such rule demanded that people wear masks in the queue and stand 2m apart.

There is nothing in the research or in legislation that demands this. In fact, the place had ‘covid Marshalls’ walking about standing less than a metre from the public without masks.

I did not have a mask with me. I was not expecting to go inside. Because I wasn’t wearing a mask, he made a big point of coming out of his van and shouting/pointing at me. He said ‘if you are exempt or something, you should be wearing a lanyard.’

So basically, I ought to have known that I would need a mask to queue for an ice cream. Or I should possess a lanyard.

The world has gone fucking mad.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 01/06/2021 00:43

@Malteser71 grim. 1984 should be a work of fiction, not a handbook.

I've come across a few twatty businesses who've made up their own nonsensical rules. I vote with my feet!

PoleToPole · 01/06/2021 02:31

Genuine question, and not meant to be incendiary, but is the UK the only country in the world to issue mask exemptions during Covid?

No, many countries have exemptions. I`m in the US and we have exemptions, I know Canada does too. I run a specialist clinic and I have written exemption letters for some of my patients.
It did no good whatsoever, my clinic received abusive phone calls from the people who had questioned our patients as they then wanted to question/abuse/threaten me instead Hmm.

There are countries which don`t have exemptions, but holding them up as beacons is not the best idea when you examine their other policies relating to human rights - or rather their lack of.

Another thing which irritates me is the "if there was a gas attack and your life was on the line you`d soon wear a mask" brigade.
This is simply not the case. It is not a gotcha. PTSD is not a switch you can flip on and off, there are a considerable number of military veterans with "gas mask phobia", some of whom tragically died as their trauma was so great that not even imminent death could make them able to wear a gas mask.

lakesummer · 01/06/2021 03:02

There are mask exemptions in my USA state but the take up must be very low as I haven't seen a person in the supermarket without one for more than year now.

School requires them but offers virtual learning if students cannot wear a mask.

Wannabangbang · 01/06/2021 03:51

I don't think anyone has the right to question mask usage. The woman actually put you and herself more at risk by getting close and being nosey. That's the thing people that judge are the ones going up in people's faces. My dd doesn't wear a mask as she's autistic and she can't cope wearing one if anyone came up to her in this manner i would tell them to back the F away and mind their own noses.

TheClaws · 01/06/2021 04:38

[quote FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]@Malteser71 grim. 1984 should be a work of fiction, not a handbook.

I've come across a few twatty businesses who've made up their own nonsensical rules. I vote with my feet![/quote]

That's not anything close to 1984, although people like you love quoting the title. And I feel an owner wouldn't be concerned if you decide not to darken their doors again.

Sockwomble · 01/06/2021 06:28

"This why people question others and have every right to. Just as someone without a mask has the right to ignore or tell them to fuck off.

Simple."

No people do it because they are arseholes who like to harass people who look more vulnerable than themselves. They are unlikely to do it to ds because they would be scared of him and the reaction they might get but would instead target a woman on their own.

Seabreeze18 · 01/06/2021 07:04

I understand some people are unable to wear masks but I know loads of people who buy the online lanyards because they don’t want to wear one!!! Not they they can’t!!
If surgeons can wear a mask in a hot room with full ppe for a 10 hour operation with no break then most people can wear a mask to pop into a shop!!
I now mistrust anyone saying they can’t wear a mask and want to know the reason? Even though it’s non of my business and I wouldn’t ask someone I didn’t know!

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 01/06/2021 07:21

@Seabreeze18 surgeons choose to do that job. Mask wearing is enforced - someone upthread said they can't wear one because they were raped as a child and their rapist put a hoodie over their face to muffle the screams. Do you distrust that poster? Are you happy know you have an explanation as to why they can't wear a mask?

Spikeyball · 01/06/2021 07:35

"I now mistrust anyone saying they can’t wear a mask and want to know the reason?"

If you are worried about covid it would make more sense to mistrust everyone and keep your distance because all of the mask wearers could have been breaking law or not following guidance throughout and most of those exempt by age are now in school mixing with lots of others.

It is also immediately obvious why some people cannot wear masks and mistrusting them for not wearing a mask is ridiculous.