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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being given a car

21 replies

DipSwimSwoosh · 30/05/2021 10:31

A family member wants to give me a car. I already have a car. I did bash it once so it looks bad but otherwise is fine. I don't want their old car because my car suits me, but many family members keep trying to convince me to take it.
My main reasons for not wanting it are

  • mine is bigger (I have 3 kids in carseats)
  • I don't need the extra admin
  • mine is 2010, theirs is 2007
But DH wants it as it's a better model/make and is not bashed. Would you take it?
OP posts:
negomi90 · 30/05/2021 10:32

No

Sirzy · 30/05/2021 10:34

Why would you want to take on a second older car when you don’t need it? Presumably the gifter isn’t going to be paying for the maintenance of the car?

Original poster
DipSwimSwoosh · 30/05/2021 10:35

Thanks. Just had to check I wasn't going mad.

OP posts:
Original poster
DipSwimSwoosh · 30/05/2021 10:35

The family all say the maintenance will be less as it's a better car.

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 30/05/2021 10:36

Take it, sell it and use the money to get the body work on the car you want to keep fixed.

titchy · 30/05/2021 10:37

What do the family propose you do with the extra child given that all car seats won't fit? Be on permanent standby in case she/he needs a lift?

championthewonderhorse70 · 30/05/2021 10:37

Just get yours fixed.
What are the 2 different cars.
Why does DH think it's a better make & model?

murbblurb · 30/05/2021 10:44

it is a bit dickish to be fooled by make/model - same as buying 'brands' is a bit dickish. The car you have suits your purpose and the other one doesn't. all cars need fixing occasionally.

Original poster
DipSwimSwoosh · 30/05/2021 10:50

Exactly. The car I have suits me day to day. The carseats fit, there is loads of space. I'd rather buy a new car of my choosing than spend money on the bodywork. I have absolutely no interest in cars or the status of them, and would prefer to spend money elsewhere. It just needs to get us all from A to B comfortably. The car they want to give us is a passat. Ours is a picasso.

OP posts:
AnotherNameForJune · 30/05/2021 10:50

A newer car isn't always better.

For instance, I would take a 2007 car that's been treated well, regularly serviced etc, mot advisories dealt with swiftly - over a 2014 car without annual services where the Mot history shows fails every year because of tyre tread depth or similar and mot advisories left to linger until they turn into a fail - usually a key warning ime that the owners haven't taken great care of it and further problems are to come.

If you don't want the other car of course yanbu - it's your choice! In your shoes I would probably go with dh's recommendation as I accept that he knows far more about cars and mechanics than I do.

Original poster
DipSwimSwoosh · 30/05/2021 10:57

Both cars have been well looked after.
Everyone knows more about mechanics than me, and everyone wants me to take the car, but I don't want it!

OP posts:
BigMamaFratelli · 30/05/2021 11:04

A passat isn't a particularly great car - definitely wouldn't say it's much of a step up, especially if it doesn't suit youHmm

Stick to your guns and say thanks, but no thanks

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 11:11

It's not a like-for-like swap, though. Fan of VWs though I am, a Passat is a different kind of car from a Picasso - they both have pros and cons, which will/won't matter to you depending on your own circumstances, needs and preferences.

If you lived in a small flat 1 mile from your workplace and the children's schools and where all your family and friends live, and somebody offered to swap their 5-bed detached house 250 miles away for your flat.... surely nobody would think that the perfect solution for your needs?

Are they trying to offload it or thinking they're doing you a favour? If the latter, how about asking if you can take it, sell it and put the money, along with the money from selling your car, towards a newer car that is appropriate for your family's needs, when you find the right one? Then, you can take your merry time 'looking for one', which you might coincidentally manage to finally achieve in 10 years' time when your current car happens to need replacing/scrapping anyway Grin

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 11:22

As PP said, you can't simply say that a 2010 car is better than a 2007 car - there are so many variables. Also, the fact that you know your own car, having had and used it for however long, is a big plus that shouldn't be overlooked.

A VW is possibly more reliable than a Citroen, but they're still a similar 'class' of car marque and both middle of the road (no pun intended). If you had a 1991 Metro (and presumably a smaller family) and they were offering you the 2010 Passat, you'd be crazy to turn it down, but based on the perceived value/quality/desirability of the cars, there's not a lot in it really; and if you can fit your family in one of the cars but not in the other, you'd have to be quite a special kind of fool to deliberately choose the latter!

Also, insurance premiums are partly based on the historical/statistical risk of claims from each kind of car. Purely based on their perceived image, there are probably a lot of boy racers who would go for a Passat but wouldn't be seen dead in a practical family MPV.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 11:25

Everyone knows more about mechanics than me, and everyone wants me to take the car

I've known a number of people whose mechanics/own good mechanical skills have used that knowledge as the basis to suggest/decide that it's time to move their car on....

Original poster
DipSwimSwoosh · 30/05/2021 11:42

Thanks, really useful comments. I appreciate it.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/05/2021 11:43

Another possibility may be to sell both cars and get something newer that will hopefully last longer?

Original poster
DipSwimSwoosh · 30/05/2021 11:46

I don't think either car would fetch much if we sold them! Plus I really don't want the extra admin right now. Maybe in a year or two when the little one grows out of her carseat or our car gives up. All fine now. I am busy!

OP posts:
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 12:58

I know what you mean about unnecessary admin. I think the same when people eagerly 'upgrade' and change their phones every two years (or even every year). If it still works and suits you well, whatever is the point in all the unnecessary faff involved in changing over?

I agree with you: when something needs to be replaced due to wear/damage/reliability issues or no longer fits your requirements, then it's worth the effort to make the change; if it still meets all your needs and works well.... ain't nobody got time for that!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 30/05/2021 13:02

To add, I hate it when people giving things make it all about them and the joy they get from giving (or even just offloading). It's not a proper gift at all if you strongarm the recipient into taking it against their wishes.

If ever I offer something to somebody, I always try to make it crystal clear that it's theirs to take if they want it, but if they don't want/need it for any reason, that's absolutely OK too.

championthewonderhorse70 · 30/05/2021 20:03

Given your circumstances I wouldn't swap either

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