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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My garden

43 replies

Cocolove29 · 30/05/2021 10:24

I live near my sister and every nice day she comes to sit in my garden as she doesn’t think her own one has enough privacy. I don’t mind now and again but she thinks it’s ok to sit in my garden every time the weather is nice. I just want some space and not look out my window and see her all the time. She says I’m being unreasonable. Help

OP posts:
Original poster
Cocolove29 · 30/05/2021 17:17

No the garden is secure and if anyone enters it would be at their own risk as I have my 3 dogs(Dobermans who like sitting out there a lot)

OP posts:
Schrutesbeets · 30/05/2021 17:23

Erm. Put a lock on the gate? Why wouldn't you and why are you ignoring the suggestions to?

ineedaholidaynow · 30/05/2021 17:24

Why can't you talk to her?

frankenpoodle · 30/05/2021 17:41

You've already discussed your desire for privacy, evidently, since you say your sister has proclaimed it unreasonable. A lock is the only answer. How else will you keep her out, if you've already asked her to wait to be invited and she refuses to respect your wishes?

She'll probably ask for a key or start knocking at your door everyday, instead. Wink

I'd suggest she move or look for ways to improve the privacy of her own garden.

OldTinHat · 30/05/2021 17:46

What is wrong with people?!! I have a friend who texted me a couple of days ago to say he'd be spending the weekend in my garden and don't worry about cleaning the house specially! (He is in a flat with no garden.) Fortunately I don't have rear access so he can't sneak in but bloody hell OP, yes she's your sister, but she's a CF!!

Original poster
Cocolove29 · 30/05/2021 18:00

Thank you to everyone who has offered genuine good advice, when it is family it’s hard because you don’t want to cause upset. To everyone else, get a life and stop being mean, I don’t have time to reply to every suggestion.

OP posts:
JimBobNoJob · 30/05/2021 18:06

You don’t just invite yourself into someone else’s garden without prior agreement, sister or not. Tell her to sort out her privacy issue and stop invading yours!

I am having an issue with privacy at the moment due to garden layout and am fed up being watched when using top part of garden.
I’m sure my other next door neighbour won’t mind if I shift along one and set up camp in hers to avoid nosy neighbour.🙄

As it stands I’m in the process of sorting the issue, so hopefully can enjoy the garden in peace this year!

Your sisters garden is not your problem!

ineedaholidaynow · 30/05/2021 19:17

What are you going to do @Cocolove29?

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/05/2021 19:25

She doesn’t care about upsetting you.

WildfirePonie · 30/05/2021 20:27

Why is it ok for your sister to upset you?

threeteenstaximum · 30/05/2021 21:11

@Cocolove29

Thank you to everyone who has offered genuine good advice, when it is family it’s hard because you don’t want to cause upset. To everyone else, get a life and stop being mean, I don’t have time to reply to every suggestion.
I think people get that it's hard when it's family, who then call you unreasonable "cos family..."

Hopefully you've heard enough people say that gosh she is the unreasonable one and she is invading your privacy without listening to you. It's lovely that you have 3 dogs- but really you ought sort out that back gate to garden access as it sounds like anyone can get in and potentially could leave back gate open / let out or be faced by your dogs, so not withstanding that your Dsis is massively overstepping by using your garden like a private park for herself, you don't want her to- please arrange a padlock for your back gate,

threeteenstaximum · 30/05/2021 21:13

OP, top tip, you don't have to believe people that call you unreasonable when you know you aren't being so. Family or not.

If you don't like it and it's your garden / your house, you can say "no, just stop it" to others. "I don't want you to do that" is enough and you don't have to justify further ... that's why "pack it in" is such a good phrase.

LittleMG · 30/05/2021 21:20

Totally agree sister is wrong but can u imagine op puts a lock on the gate? All hell is gonna break loose. I can see why they are reluctant to do that. It might cause a family blow up. Sister is in the wrong pushing boundaries, but it’s hard to say no irl is struggle.

Original poster
Cocolove29 · 30/05/2021 21:33

Hi there, I will probably try and have another talk with her and make her see it’s not ok to keep coming in my garden and just because I say no doesn’t mean I’m being unreasonable.

OP posts:
tracyandjack · 24/02/2022 14:19

get a scare crow Smile

YabuOrYanbu · 13/11/2022 13:10

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

IglesiasPiggl · 13/11/2022 13:13

Could you say you'll be putting a lock on the gate because you're worried about security so she'll need to ring and ask before coming. Then you can tell her you won't be in. And make sure it's a key padlock so she can't badger you for the combination.

KatherineofGaunt · 13/11/2022 13:15

ZOMBIE THREAD!

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