to worry about this getting out

[heyho2015]

I did something foolish, stupid and embarrassing 4 years ago and am worried sick about it coming out and shaming me: AIBU to worry about this?

Basically I was on a date with my (then) new BF. We were wandering around town, holding hands, kissing etc. It was early evening and we went into a shopping mall, and paused for about 10 minutes of full on snogging.

I was in my early 40s at the time (have kids), and newly single after a long, loveless marriage.

I'm now really, really worried that somehow CCTV footage of this snogging will find it's way onto the internet, and tracked back to me, and friends, family and colleagues (am in a responsible job in the community) will see it and my life will be ruined. I am worried sick that my thoughtless behaviour that night is like a ticking time bomb which could go off at any time.....

AIBU to be this worried?

Do you know what sort of crazy things cctv picks up people doing when drunk? Snogging someone is a non issue. I used to get very worked up about this stuff. I realised my anxiety was worse than I thought. Antidepressants really help to stop this type of rumination for me.

It's a total non issue sweetheart. You snogged someone. Unless one of you was both famous and married to someone else at the time, no-one cares, honest! If this is bothering you as much as it seems, you need to consider getting help with your anxiety

I can understand your fear as at 40 you shouldn't be acting like a 14 year old but honestly ... chill its fine

Hi op, in the nicest possible way, yabu.
These are the kind of worries I have and obsess over when my anxiety isn't under control.
Do you have thoughts like this often?
Sending you a little peace for the day!

Some people have been a bit cruel in their replies, I would assume op has anxiety issues.

The thing is op, it won't matter how many people say "of course not, don't be silly!", you'll keep asking until one person goes "maybe it could cause a problem" and that'll be the one you believe and panic about. I know because this is exactly what I used to do (accidentally not paying for a 5p bag would turn into a prison sentence, loss of relationship, end of any professional areer, for example) when my anxiety was at its peak.

Are you getting support for this?

YABU.

The end.

Yes YABU. Please stop worrying; four years is ages and like others have said it will have been deleted. If anything was going to be done with it (and not sure why it would anyway), it would have happened by now.

Are you in Peri/menopause? I can remember the anxiety of past events and decisions keeping me awake and causing palpitations.

This footage has long gone.

Hi @heyho2015 I have similar thoughts and realised that it's something call catastrophising.

And for me, if it's not one thing- I'll move onto another.

Read up on it. Then put it in perspective. If it were a friend telling you this scenario what would you advise them? Be as kind to your inner self as you would be to a friend asking for advice.

Good luck x

Bloody hell I thought I could worry for the world !

But why op do you think anyone would care ? 2 people snogging sorry op it’s hardly shocking . I thought you were going to say something like you were caught having sex or something. Even that after 4 years it would’ve been deleted .
Chill out !!

Unless you meant shagging instead of snogging you’re being extremely paranoid. No one would find this worthy of sharing on the internet. CCTV is prolific and there would be way more interesting things captured.

It wasn't just snog, was it😂 Because otherwise it's weird

Unless 'snogging' is code for a spur of the moment shag in a hidden corner, I wouldn't worry too much!

@MissMaple82

I can understand your fear as at 40 you shouldn't be acting like a 14 year old but honestly ... chill its fine

🙄 You sound like the life of the party

Is this sort of thing frowned open in your country/religion/culture? Or were you raised to think this sort of thing was wrong? I can sort of understand the guilt and shame If it’s been drummed into you?
Give yourself a break Op, people have done far far worse and never get caught/no one even cares.

They don’t keep hours and hours of footage, I’m sure after four years the footage will be long gone. Try not to worry.

Please try not to worry, the quality is so bad on most CCTV that they can't identify bank robbers
It be fair though if I saw that I'd think whoa good on them and silently salute you for living in the moment
Try and put it out of your mind

Thank you everyone. I can honestly say I feel reassured by your replies, and will not waste any more time (or sleep), on this.

Some of you have raised a few things which I think might be worth me following up. I do have a tendency to overthink and worry about incidents, and last time it was this bad, I started on HRT which really helped (3 years ago) - maybe I need to look at upping the dose I'm on. And I'm under a stupid amount of stress at the moment professionally, and at home (challenging teens), so feeling a bit overwhelmed, with not a lot of practical support in RL.

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. It has genuinely helped.