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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have accused him of lying?

20 replies

Saberig · 29/05/2021 23:05

DS is 5.5 months and can roll.

This afternoon I went out. Partner was looking after DS, when I went out DS was obviously tired but wouldn't nap (this happens a lot). When I got back he told me that he rolled and fell off the bed.

He said that he put DS on the bed and he was next to him and DS rolled and he tried to stop him from falling but it happened quick so baby fell.

I'm not sure but I have a feeling he's lying or leaving information out (for example he was on his phone so he didn't notice DS rolling). I also asked him why he was so close to the edge and he said he ‘didnt know’. I'm furious with him but he thinks I'm bu and that I was BU for accusing him of lying.

Aibu here? DS is fine

OP posts:

mycatchichi · 29/05/2021 23:08

Unless there is a back story, these things happen. I was so tired when DD was a new born I fell of the nursing chair in the middle of the night with her in my arms.

Is he sorry it happened?

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 29/05/2021 23:10

Yeah he's either been distracted by something, probably his phone, or sleeping. He's lying.

chickenyhead · 29/05/2021 23:11

It seems you mat have other reasons for not trusting him, other than this one incident?

TO12T39FRQ · 29/05/2021 23:11

why are you furious with him? could have happened with you just as easily

Babbly · 29/05/2021 23:14

They move SO fast. It happens to so many people. I just DS in his bouncer on the kitchen table for literally a second without doing him up (just because my glasses had slipped off my head onto my face and I needed a hand to push them back onto my head - it was that fast), he just moved in a way he'd never moved before and came straight off the bouncer, onto the table then onto a chair and onto the floor. He was completely fine (thank God) but I was really shaken up. What your DP has said is scarily very realistic and believable.

nimbuscloud · 29/05/2021 23:15

Babies rolling off beds is a regular occurrence on MN. Glad your ds is ok.

Peace43 · 29/05/2021 23:15

My DD rolled off the bed as a baby and I was standing next to her. It happens, baby is fine yabu

nimbuscloud · 29/05/2021 23:15

And your dp told you. He could quite easily have said nothing.

LolaNova · 29/05/2021 23:20

I can totally believe this would happen. People on MNet often seem to expect parents to have 100% concentration on their babies all the time but this isn’t really realistic. Sometimes we have lapses in judgement, sometimes we have to focus on something else, sometimes we are too tired to think straight, sometimes babies just surprise us. It’s just one of those things.

Original poster

Saberig · 29/05/2021 23:31

I do trust him but I'm just confused as to how DS managed to fall without partner stopping him.

OP posts:

nimbuscloud · 29/05/2021 23:32

It happens !

meow1989 · 29/05/2021 23:34

The other day my friend's 5 month old threw himself head first and slid off the bed onto the floor. He was sitting in between me and my friend on a.single bed but we were watching our other dc playing and momentarily weren't focusing on the baby. It does happen. Is there a reason or backstop behind your feeling? Is he usually distracted?

Babbly · 29/05/2021 23:36

@Saberig

I do trust him but I'm just confused as to how DS managed to fall without partner stopping him.

They just suddenly move really, really fast. You won't believe it until you see it happen yourself. It seems like it can't happen because they've never moved like it before - but they just do. My midwife told me never to lie the baby on the bed, she said this when DS was a day old - she said no matter where on the bed you put them, no matter how young they are - they sometimes just fall off. She came across like a crazy person but she was so certain and she was absolutely right.

chickenyhead · 29/05/2021 23:40

Yeah, unfortunately babies once they can roll, are capable of all sorts. It gets worse once they can sit and hellos once they can climb.

upthekyber · 29/05/2021 23:46

Yes sadly these things happen, I dropped one of my twins as I lifted him and the same one flipped himself off a changing table you wouldn't believe how he managed it I had my hand on his tummy just go steady him as I reached down for a nappy and he was Gone.
My husband was mortified when it happens to him fortunately for him my two incidences had happened otherwise I know damn well I would be acting like you are because I would never had thought it possible.
I am more open minded about things now.

Enough4me · 29/05/2021 23:50

They can be quick, floppy and have relatively big heavy heads so unfortunately these things can happen. It's good he was honest with you as he could have not said anything.

BigHeadBertha · 29/05/2021 23:51

I wonder if there is more behind you not believing him because if my husband told me that, I don't think I'd question it. If the issue is that you find your partner unreliable, I wouldn't leave the baby with him at such a young age unless I had no choice.

TO12T39FRQ · 30/05/2021 00:04

Just an accident! Happens to many of us

TokenGinger · 30/05/2021 00:13

I wouldn't be furious with him. DP probably feels awful it happened on his watch. I remember DS being in bed with DP and I heard a big thud from downstairs. Of course DS had fallen out of bed. I couldn't fathom why DP had let him sleep on the outside when I'd warned him before to put him on the inside, but I didn't say anything, just checked they were both okay. He's never put him on the outside to sleep again.

Peach01 · 30/05/2021 00:28

These kinds of accidents happen, they are fast. I can't help but think there's usually a reason for it, attention being diverted. My baby almost fell off the changing table. DP shouted on me, I turned my head for a sec and baby rolled to the edge. Lesson learned.
It's plausible that he has been distracted by something. I would rather there was a reason for the baby rolling off so it could be avoided, rather than the baby just rolling off while DP is paying full attention and not being able to stop it. It's the fact he says he doesn't know why baby was lying close to the edge. Common sense would tell you not to keep a baby lying at the edge of a bed.
Did baby fall straight from the bed to the floor or did DP try to catch him, but baby still tumbled over?

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