Who is being unreasonable?

[Headsshoulderskneesandtoes00]

Hi,
So DD daddy has requested that I buy more items of school clothing for him to retain at his (or he keeps some of what I already have) because he pays child maintenance. I would rather I did not purchase more than I need in order to line his wardrobe. I was under the impression that child maintenance covers essential upkeep at the main residence , not for the recipient of CM to cover both residences.

Who is acting unreasonably? What would you do?

This is so shabby of him. I once knew a man who declared he paid his ex what he thought was reasonable and if she tried to go through CMS he would deliberately quit his well paid job and get a minimum wage one just to spite her. Imagine the logic of that?

Surely it just depends on how much he pays. If it's 100 pounds that's fair enough, if it's 500 pounds and that's more than 1/2 the costs, then I see his point, especially as your DC is with him 1/3 of the time.

When DP's ex decided she wanted to claim through CM rather than continue with the private arrangement (she had been told my wages would be included and i earnt a lot more than DP at the time) the CM office actually told my DP that if she asked him to pay for haircuts for the kids or anything he was to ask her for the money because thats what CM is for

My DP isnt a twat so he obviously never has and we always supplied everything the kids needed here plus because she actually lost a substantial amount of money going through CM as he had always paid way above what they calculate we also made sure the kids had money to buy clothes etc at hers. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

You’re right but I don’t know that you’ll ever make him buy the stuff.

My ExP stopped child maintenance over this. He said I didn’t provide enough stuff and so he’s now going to use his child maintenance to buy clothing for DS. He spent £50 in primark last year and sometimes buys a random item and is back to demanding I send shorts/trousers/T-shirts again. Doesn’t seem to understand that DS requires a whole new wardrobe every year. My name is mud and DS (8) keeps telling me how angry ExP and his partner are with me for not sending them new clothes. It drives me round the bend.

The point that nearly broke me was when he was doing deny deny deny having any clothes and then his mum returned 13 pairs of DS’ jeans and 26 pairs of underwear into my car back seat when I picked him up.

I’m actually now waiting for the day he starts pursuing a CM claim against me as he has himself totally convinced he has DS more than 50% (2/3 nights a week) and buys him loads of stuff.