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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask new neighbour to smoke their weed further away?

48 replies

DumbestBlonde · 29/05/2021 21:52

I am in a semi-detached with weed smokers on one side.
On the other sde is a building that has apartments above and blwoe, itslef part of four - which is mirrored over their shared gated drive. Essentially, I have three neighboring buildings - and they are CLOSE.

The attache property already smokes a lot of weed - had constructed a shelter with a tarpaulin so that they (he and as many as eight friends) are not stoppped from being otu the by the weather.

There are already some "issues" with the downstairs of the apartment (posted elsewhere), whcih I m also trying to deal with. Now, the above apartment has become occupied by a heavy weed user (and her daughter - who is too young to smoke). I am so fed up with this being a problem....... and yet cannot figure out best course of action, if any.

My kitchen (which is my favourite room) opens to the back garden, with patio doors being the only windows or door on that side.
The house is spectacularly badly built and even with doors and windows closed there are many draughts. But with the patio door open only a little for air, or to see my garden, or just whatever - the stench from the weed from this newer one is coming straight over the fence and into my house. Also, due to the passageway to the front, I walk out of the front door into a face or lungful of it.

This is, of course, due to the construction and close proximity, and te way that air seems to be trapped (sounds work in the same way) and find a way out. Unfortunately, the poor construction of this house means that - even if I were prepaperd to seal myself in - I am getting it indoors. Goes without saying that my garden is almost useless.....

But - how to tackle this new problem?? Next door (joined on) just didn't take any notice, they know I hate it but that's never going to stop them doing just what they want.

I do pride myself on pretending not to notice the things that unintentionally and deliberately p* me off - but I am struggling with so much of it.

Inwardly I have already composed the typical polite request - but, in fact, I don't actually know where else she COULD go and smoke it..... She is at the ground floor door before her stairs up, but any of the outside space actually belonds to the downstairs aprartment, so would be right outside her front door, or patio door, or kitchen window. The young woman in the downstairs is eight+ months pregnant at the moment, and I feel sure this is something that will be bothering her too....

I know notes can p* people off, but I am not a door knocker, and I really do not want to do the passive-aggressive approach of speaking loudly about it, or bitching to someone else.....

It is Housing Assocn, and there IS a "drugs" policy but probably pretty ineffectual...... Ugh - I hate these dilemmas!

OP posts:
newnortherner111 · 29/05/2021 22:03

You should not be polite about it. You are condoning county lines, and a trade that disproportionately harms young black men.

Report to the police. Or indirectly you are a racist in a way.

amusedtodeath1 · 29/05/2021 22:18

I don't know what you can do tbh OP. I doubt that the Police would do anything, the HA might but it will take time and could be an uncomfortable situation.

I quite like the smell tbh (reminds me of Eden perfume a bit), but I can understand why it would annoy you.

As for PPs racist for not reporting it comment, nearly everyone around my area associated with it is white or South Asian. If it was legal then it wouldn't be associated with criminal activities at all.

wiltshirelass1418 · 29/05/2021 22:33

@newnortherner111

You should not be polite about it. You are condoning county lines, and a trade that disproportionately harms young black men.

Report to the police. Or indirectly you are a racist in a way.

Wow 😳
TO12T39FRQ · 29/05/2021 22:34

good luck 'asking' them

mumwon · 29/05/2021 22:49

ahem - old rubbish bin nettles & water -leave lid on & let it ferment than when the toads are smoking remove lid & leave
put the lid back on quick when they go in
you have the added benefit of very good liquid manure for tomatoes
fighting fire with fire

Ilovemypantry · 29/05/2021 23:09

@newnortherner111

You should not be polite about it. You are condoning county lines, and a trade that disproportionately harms young black men.

Report to the police. Or indirectly you are a racist in a way.

I think that’s taking it a bit to the extreme.
RickiTarr · 29/05/2021 23:14

@newnortherner111

You should not be polite about it. You are condoning county lines, and a trade that disproportionately harms young black men.

Report to the police. Or indirectly you are a racist in a way.

FGS. OP is most certainly not a racist for suffering silently, or taking an approach short of reporting it. This place gets worse. 😆
DumbestBlonde · 29/05/2021 23:29

@newnortherner111

You should not be polite about it. You are condoning county lines, and a trade that disproportionately harms young black men.

Report to the police. Or indirectly you are a racist in a way.

Huh? They are all - to a man (or woman) - white......

There aren't many Black people around here, they would certainly be outnumbered x many hundreds to one.

I don't like the inference - indirectly or otherwise- of raicsm, which is NOT the point of this thread at all.....I am not even going to thank you for your input Angry

OP posts:
DumbestBlonde · 29/05/2021 23:31

@mumwon

ahem - old rubbish bin nettles & water -leave lid on & let it ferment than when the toads are smoking remove lid & leave put the lid back on quick when they go in you have the added benefit of very good liquid manure for tomatoes fighting fire with fire
That sounds horrible..... and surely I would have to tolerate the stench myself.......? (toads are smoking?) I only have three little tomato plants Blush
OP posts:
DumbestBlonde · 29/05/2021 23:35

@TO12T39FRQ

good luck 'asking' them
I know - the attached property does create a few problems - rows, banging doors that don't need it, using an amplifier with their "music" --- but the weed is the worst; and they know it....

But the new ones on the other side --- I really din't want end up being the eat in the sandwich Sad and am sadly aware that "asking" usually does nothing and then people - their backs up - do, whatever it is, more.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 29/05/2021 23:42

@newnortherner111

You should not be polite about it. You are condoning county lines, and a trade that disproportionately harms young black men.

Report to the police. Or indirectly you are a racist in a way.

Grin wow Confused
DumbestBlonde · 29/05/2021 23:43

@amusedtodeath1

I don't know what you can do tbh OP. I doubt that the Police would do anything, the HA might but it will take time and could be an uncomfortable situation.

I quite like the smell tbh (reminds me of Eden perfume a bit), but I can understand why it would annoy you.

As for PPs racist for not reporting it comment, nearly everyone around my area associated with it is white or South Asian. If it was legal then it wouldn't be associated with criminal activities at all.

I quite like the smell tbh (reminds me of Eden perfume a bit), but I can understand why it would annoy you.

Do you? Well, Eden was/is a sort of jungly, earthy fragrance isn't it?
I hate the smell. When old old guy down the road said he didn't know what it smelt like, I said, "Onions, B.O. and hamster bedding" (Not what Carcharel would like as a description, I bet.)

I am not even sure where the PP is coming from with the "condoning" and "racism" accusation Confused

OP posts:
Branleuse · 29/05/2021 23:45

Tell them that youre going to have to ask them to move their smoking shelter as it traps the smell and stinks your kitchen out. Tell them youd rather this didnt get awkward, but that its a really strong smell.

Theyll get the hint

LemonRoses · 29/05/2021 23:46

Loud classical music might reduce the time they spend outside,

Devlesko · 29/05/2021 23:52

I see Cagney's given lacy the night off.

Blossomtoes · 29/05/2021 23:53

@Branleuse

Tell them that youre going to have to ask them to move their smoking shelter as it traps the smell and stinks your kitchen out. Tell them youd rather this didnt get awkward, but that its a really strong smell.

Theyll get the hint

That’s not a hint! There’s nothing you can do, I’m afraid.
BibBobb · 29/05/2021 23:55

When we started smelling weed in the kitchen with our windows shut, I spoke to the neighbours the next time they were on the balcony.

Me: I don't care if you smoke weed but can you smoke it away from the flats and not on the balcony as I can smell it in our kitchen and that's not on.

In the same breath...
Him: yeh OK, sorry about that I'll move.
Her: we don't smoke weed!

Also her half an hour later in a text: 'we don't smoke weed. Only normal tobacco'

Yeh OK. And the smell got better after I asked. But they didn't smoke weed...

But we've got other neighbours who use it who I wouldn't approach. I feel for you OP, I really do.

DdraigGoch · 29/05/2021 23:59

It's horrible but I'm not sure that you can do much other than moving to be honest.

DumbestBlonde · 30/05/2021 00:15

@LemonRoses

Loud classical music might reduce the time they spend outside,
Well, I have though about this - and "The Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves" is one my favourites...(I also quite like bagpipe music)..... and I do sing along - loudly - in my car, not my house - to The Greatest Showman.

BUT - loud music is loud music, and I would be just as wrong, but with (arguably) better taste. The bass beat of theirs is the worst, as it travels through the floor, whilst not seeming too bad to people who are not in an attached property.

I am too considerate for my own good - going as far as to move my upright piano to my friend's (with nicer neighbours)and getting for myself a digital piano. I just haven't got a great spot for it in my house as it needs to be against a wall..... And I am a bit heavy footed with the sustain pedal.

Tit for tat never seems to work out well for me Sad

OP posts:
DumbestBlonde · 30/05/2021 00:16

@Devlesko

I see Cagney's given lacy the night off.
What am I missing (too subtle, or me being dumber than usual)?
OP posts:
DumbestBlonde · 30/05/2021 00:18

Just realised "toads are smoking" mans my dear neighours....... I thought it was a euphimism for something (see-dumb) Grin

OP posts:
UhtredRagnarson · 30/05/2021 00:20

Install large fans on each side of your garden fences and blow the shite back at them.

NursePotato · 30/05/2021 00:20

We had this issue a few summers ago with our neighbours. I asked them to text when they were smoking so I could shut the windows, purely as my son was a baby at the time and because they smoked in their garden, his room always smelt horrific.

DumbestBlonde · 30/05/2021 00:40

@NursePotato

We had this issue a few summers ago with our neighbours. I asked them to text when they were smoking so I could shut the windows, purely as my son was a baby at the time and because they smoked in their garden, his room always smelt horrific.
I "envy" you, being able to communicate with them by message..... I don't have their number, nor they mine... It is so awful when it gets into a room, and then takes ages to dissipate - and a baby's room! These people no doubt smoke outside their own houses to prevent stinking them out - but their outside becomes other peoples' insides.... So selfish and ignorant.
OP posts:
HalzTangz · 30/05/2021 00:41

@newnortherner111

You should not be polite about it. You are condoning county lines, and a trade that disproportionately harms young black men.

Report to the police. Or indirectly you are a racist in a way.

At what point does the OP mention the colour of anyone's skin?