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Original poster

If you could go back and start adulthood again, would you do anything different?

30 replies

Thispathisdifferent · 29/05/2021 18:14

I have such overwhelming longing for a chance to go back and things to go differently to get a different outcome - but even if time travel was possible, I couldn't change things anyway because the stuff that impacted my life was significant bereavement and my own serious health issues. So going back in time wouldn't fix anything, and I'd just be waiting for the deaths to happen etc with a sense of dread Confused So it doesn't really make sense at all!

Meeting DP was the best thing to happen to me later on, so I'd ensure that meeting still happened Grin

If you could rewind and do anything differently, would you? Or like me, would there not really be anything much you could do to end up in a different place?

OP posts:
Happycat1212 · 29/05/2021 18:17

Absolutely

DeathStare · 29/05/2021 18:18

I'd do pretty much everything differently. I'd certainly stay out of abusive relationships.

StellaLeonte · 29/05/2021 18:18

Oh God, I’d do so many things differently, especially around money and work. I try to think though, that I’m in the exact place I need to be in, and the things that happened to me e.g. childhood neglect and bullying etc, were so I could learn resilience and compassion.

YellowFish12 · 29/05/2021 18:21

Nope. Would do it all exactly the same.

Even when things haven’t been good - I wouldn’t be where I am today or who I am if I hadn’t been through those experiences - if that makes sense?

Maryjane3227 · 29/05/2021 18:22

If I could turn clock back, wouldn't have: smoked like a chimney, allowed myself to be belittled and put down by false friends and controlling partners, spent so much time worrying I wasn't good enough.
But hindsight is very helpful, years later.
Maybe we need the mistakes because they help us to grow

RubyFowler · 29/05/2021 18:23

I shouldn't have married my STBXH.
Its difficult to say that as we did have some amazing times and have two beautiful children.
But.... if I could go back I wouldn't marry him.

HOkieCOkie · 29/05/2021 18:26

No, although I’m a much more confident adult but no.

RachelGreep87 · 29/05/2021 18:27

Increase pension contributions and start wearing sunscreen daily from a younger age

Hendalle · 29/05/2021 18:32

A few things but nothing major. I’d have cut loose a lot more at university, I took it far to seriously and that hasn’t actually given me any advantages in life Grin
I’ve said before I’d also not have a long term boyfriend while at uni. I don’t think it was a good thing for me.
Ideally I’d not spend any time disliking my own body or trying to fight nature Grin
I’d start doing things that scare me (but are safe I mean stuff like indoor rock climbing..) a lot sooner!

The main one is that I’d push to get help for my mental health issues waaay back and not waited and suffered for years with it. It has really held me back.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 29/05/2021 18:34

Not really as everything has led me to where I am today. I am glad that I took the opportunities I had to travel and live abroad, tried different jobs, and had as much fun as possible in my twenties before meeting DH and having DCs. I sometimes felt guilty not being sensible and saving but seeing the world as it is today I am really really happy that I have made the right decisions.

beepbeepbonk · 29/05/2021 18:45

Maybe. My 20's were a bit of a car crash but now at 40 I'm happily married and my20's are what got me here...

blobblob · 29/05/2021 18:46

Unfortunately yes, most of it. A few poor choices early on screwed me for the next forty years.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 29/05/2021 18:50

Would rather go back and find teenage me and give him a right good talking to and some occasional dad-style guidance. Christ I could have done with that back then.

Sheeeeeep · 29/05/2021 18:53

Quite hard to say. I’m an old bat with a baby and if my start to adulthood had been different I’d probably have started my family in my early 30s and it seems weird to me that I could have a child on the cusp of starting secondary school and I wouldn’t even have had them young.

The main thing I’d have done differently is have stayed in my old job tbh. It was shit but it was wel paid shit. Of course finally got pregnant as soon as I quit!

colouringindoors · 29/05/2021 18:54

I'd have found away to make friends when I went back to my mum and dads after Uni. And I wouldn't have married my ex.

BrilliantBetty · 29/05/2021 18:55

Yes have more nights out. More holidays. More romances.

Bargebill19 · 29/05/2021 18:56

Would have been more stubborn and learnt a trade such as plumbing.

Bythemillpond · 29/05/2021 19:02

Definitely. I think hindsight is a wonderful thing. But I wouldn’t go back that far otherwise I wouldn’t have my lovely dc

Myusername33 · 29/05/2021 19:03

I would do absolutely everything differently, I made such a mess of my life so far and it all really stems from age 16-22. I wish I had known the mistakes I was making back then

underneaththeash · 29/05/2021 19:04

Nothing massive, so no.

alexdgr8 · 29/05/2021 19:08

i would have stood up for myself more.
and appreciated parent more.
not wasted time at college.
maybe joined the civil service.
if i had, i'd have a pension by now, instead of having to live on less than ten pound a day income.
i never understood money matters, missed out on what was my due.

Thelnebriati · 29/05/2021 19:08

Pretty much the only thing that could have helped me do anything differently would have been a warning not to get involved with Ex, and the winning lottery numbers. I was made homeless 3 times, and it held me back for a decade.

Blondiney · 29/05/2021 19:09

I'd choose different parents for a start.

EssentialHummus · 29/05/2021 19:14

More casual sex.

Vikingintraining · 29/05/2021 19:15

I would have not got into debt, or made more effort to clear it and start saving (instead I ignored it, buried my head in the sand and it spiralled leaving me with debt for 15 years!).
Also I would have tried more stuff. I completely lacked confidence most of my childhood and early adulthood and that stopped me from making new friends, taking up new hobbies, experimenting with career choices, etc. It's only when I got to late 30s that I really took control of my life and started to enjoy it - I wish I'd had that confidence earlier.