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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

38weeks pregnant + asked husband not to drink

28 replies

Mama1993 · 29/05/2021 17:23

Basically husband is seeing a friend this evening which is obviously fine I just asked him earlier in the week that he drives just Incase he needs to drive me to the hospital.

His friend gave the 'ohhh but this will be your last Saturday night for ages' BS (it will be a few weeks at most I imagine since I'll be the one breastfeeding'

Anyway turns out he's getting a taxi which I was quite miffed about and made that clear. Stating that since I'd not been drunk in 9 months he could at least do it for the last two weeks...

We left on good terms, but the car keys are still here. AIBU to be a bit pissed off?

OP posts:
hulahoopqueen · 29/05/2021 17:29

I would be a bit pissed off if I were you OP. It's not unreasonable to ask him to be prepared for the possibility, and the fact that he can take a taxi is not really here or there.

SnackSizeRaisin · 29/05/2021 17:29

I don't think I'd mind him having a drink or 2, but wouldn't be happy if he came home drunk. It's fairly unlikely you'd need to go to hospital before tomorrow morning, if it's a first baby and you aren't showing signs of labour yet and are only 38 weeks. First labours can go on for days and you might go 2 weeks over. You can always get a taxi if necessary.

shouldistop · 29/05/2021 17:33

Is he likely to get really drunk? Are you too far from hospital to get a taxi?
It is pretty unlikely you'll go into labour tonight but I understand why you're a bit annoyed.

Original poster
Mama1993 · 29/05/2021 17:33

I forgot to add it's my 2nd

My first was so quick (less that 8 hours start to finish) that the midwife told me I should prep for a home birth! Which I definitely do not want. The hospital is only a short drive away luckily.

I guess I'll see what state he comes home in tonight, I'm hoping he'll just have a couple as he said he would but I also know he has very little will power!

OP posts:
Rhayader · 29/05/2021 17:34

I asked the same of DH after 37 weeks. Basically not to be over the driving limit. He was fine with it.

Original poster
Mama1993 · 29/05/2021 17:35

I think I can already see both sides to be fair. I am definitely more prone to feeling like I've been served some massive injustice just because I can't drink myself

OP posts:
PervyMuskrat · 29/05/2021 17:39

I had a fast (sub 5 hour) and early first labour and an even faster (sub 1 hour!) and earlier second labour so I’m with you on this one. Luckily we made it to hospital but it was touch and go and wouldn’t have done if we’d had to wait around for a taxi. Have a strong word tomorrow!

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 29/05/2021 17:43

Well.. you could always take a taxi! I mean what if it started whilst he was a work?! Or had taken your other child for a day out? My husband works in central London, there’s no way he could get home in less than an hour, with the tubes and stuff!

GreyEyedWitch · 29/05/2021 17:47

@Peanutbuttercupisyum But would you want a pissed birthing partner by your side at the hospital even if you did get a taxi?

whiteshark · 29/05/2021 17:49

I don't think yabu. Perfectly reasonable request.

Drowninginwashing · 29/05/2021 17:49

With my second baby my husband had a zoom 'pub night' (lockdown) with some friends at 37 +4 weeks. With my first I didn't go into labour even with 4 days of induction - I had to have a section in the end- so when he suggested he wouldn't drink on this zoom call, I said he was being overly cautious. Anyway he didn't drink and then I went into labour in the middle of the night. Point is you never know and YANBU!

ELCSPlease · 29/05/2021 17:51

@Peanutbuttercupisyum

Well.. you could always take a taxi! I mean what if it started whilst he was a work?! Or had taken your other child for a day out? My husband works in central London, there’s no way he could get home in less than an hour, with the tubes and stuff!
But her husband can drive, so why should she have to get a taxi?

And like a PP said, would she want him there as her birthing partner tipsy/pissed/stinking of drink?

I had no issue with my DH drinking through my first pregnancy, and same this time. My only request was that from 37 weeks he was never over the driving limit.

AnUnoriginalUsername · 29/05/2021 17:53

YANBU
DH wouldn't drink to be over the limit during my whole pregnancy. Our first ended in an early miscarriage so I think he was all to aware that it's not always plain sailing and I'd either need to be at the hospital for help or labour. It's not just being able to drive but also being able to actually offer support. My labour and birth did not go to plan and he needed to be all there and make serious decisions while I screamed the place down and threw up all over the corridor.

whatnow41 · 29/05/2021 17:55

I asked the same, from 36 weeks. DH ignored me. I went in to labour 37+2 while he was at work so it wasn't an issue. His drinking remained an issue though. DS is 9 and DH is now 3 yrs sober. Anyone who can't go 2-4 weeks without drinking has a problem IMO.

Macncheeseballs · 29/05/2021 17:55

I got taxis for all mine

ColourMeExhausted · 29/05/2021 18:01

My second came at 36 weeks. YANBU OP.

BirthdayCakeBelly · 29/05/2021 18:15

YANBU it’s for a couple of weeks.

WhySoSensitive · 29/05/2021 18:22

Both mine came at 38 weeks and both labours were only an hour long. YANBU.

I was so spiteful I would probably pretend I was in labour just to scare him into being responsible for two bloody weeks.

LakeShoreD · 29/05/2021 18:22

Two drinks would put you over the drink drive limit. So I think if taxis are an option where you live, and it sounds like they are, then YABU to expect him to be ok to drive at all times. That said, he shouldn’t be getting hammered given you could go into labour at any point. There’s a big gulf between not ok to drive, which is more than 1 drink at the same sitting, and not being ok to support you in labour.

StoneColdBitch · 29/05/2021 18:22

It depends on how easily you can get a taxi, and if you have other local family or friends to give you a lift. DH had a couple of drinks the night before my planned ELCS date, as we thought it was a fairly safe bet... and I went into labour overnight while he was still over the limit. It wasn't a crisis, though, as we had a relative literally on the same street, who was on standby anyway in case of need, who gladly drove me in to hospital. If not I could have quickly accessed a taxi; I lived near a big town. So in our situation it was fine. If I lived somewhere remote and had nobody else who could help, it wouldn't have been fine.

Misseasteregg · 29/05/2021 18:59

Yanbu. Typical selfish man

Devon1987 · 29/05/2021 19:35

This would give me the rage, as you said if you can not drink for 9 months he can at least stay sober for 2-4 weeks. My OH didn’t drink from when I reached 36 weeks, and a good job too as I went in labour at 37.5 weeks. He is taking the mick, I’d lock him out.

Lullabymummy17 · 29/05/2021 19:42

YANBU that's very selfish of him. You're asking him not to drink for a couple of weeks. For everyone saying get a taxi, can you imagine how busy the taxi services will be now that pubs are back open and people are back out?
We are having twins and my actual due date isn't till 9th July but DH has only drank once or twice since I was 28 weeks just incase.
You're not asking much, fair enough he goes out.

WaterBottle123 · 29/05/2021 19:59

He only needs to be able to accompany you in a taxi though? Neither of us had a driving licence the first time I gave birth, didn't occur to me to worry.

CoffeeCakey · 29/05/2021 20:45

YANBU, why risk turning up to the birth of your child reeking of booze.