To get back with my ex?

[Mybel]

Sorry I’m new so sorry if this is a bit rambling.
Early on last year pre - covid my exP and I broke up- he had wanted more children, to get married, buy a bigger house together etc and I didn’t.
We had been together 3 years and I lived in his house but still kept my marital home too- my DH died about 5 years before I met exP and I hadn’t really dealt with it to be honest and it was why I was so reluctant to commit.
ExP has a child from a previous relationship, a young son who I adore. Sons mother cheated on exP and ended their relationship but although I know she’s a good mum she annoyed me always hanging around playing the victim as exP moved on and she then couldn’t get a relationship to stick.

I’ve had a lot of therapy since covid hit and I really felt lonely and on the verge of breakdown. I was able to talk about my marriage and actually process that my late DH wasn’t that good a person and our relationship and my life didn’t work out as I planned.

I really regret the relationship end with exP and want to get back together. We have spent time together over the last year in a non-romantic way and he has said he would like to restart things. He had confidence that I’d changed my outlook as I put my marital home on the market.

I know during lockdown one that his sons mother moved in with them for a while so they could home school and see each other etc. ExP has told me that during this time he felt sad and lonely and ended up having sex with his ex for a few weeks. It ended with a massive row between them although they are back on good friendly terms now.

My question is whether given that he has hooked up with his ex, can I really feel confident coming back on the scene? I’m a bit worried that now that line has been crossed. Obviously they have to see each other regularly to co-parent. I just can’t imagine his ex letting it go to be honest. I do trust exP to be honest with me- but I’m worried that might turn into him telling me they’ve decided a nuclear family would be better for their son a bit down the line.

Am I unreasonable to re kindle the relationship in this scenario? Thank you

I dont think youd be unreasonable. If it was non covid times then I'd be more wary, but I think a lot of people probably made some poor decisions when they were lonely and bored and looking for some comfort. If they were going to get back together then, they would have done.

YANBU to give it another shot. I think it'd be unreasonable to rule out a relationship due to him sleeping with his ex whilst you were broken up given that your heart was elsewhere during your entire relationship. I think it sounds like you've worked through your stuff and he had a blip that's now sorted out.

You would not be unreasonable to get back together as long as you are both happy with this. Some people believe once an ex always an ex, but I don't quite agree with that. People change, situations change. I got back with an ex and it all worked out. As long as things weren't ended badly, I think it's fine. People take more of an issue with couples who are constantly breaking up and getting back together, which is different. If you don't give it another shot you might regret it. If things don't work out then at least you tried and you can move on and stop wondering what if.