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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isn't a mate?

21 replies

ivfbabymomma1 · 28/05/2021 22:00

Basically a last week it was my birthday (mid week birthday, no milestone etc) and my friend text me saying happy birthday and what was I doing for it that evening. I replied saying nothing much, DH is away with business so I'll just celebrate it at the weekend. She then replied saying why dont I ask my mum to watch DS & well go for an early tea as I was on my own. (Which didn't bother me in the slightest) but I said that would be nice and off we went. She then turned up with a really expensive gift for me which was totally unexpected.
Mid meal she asked me to look at a whatsapp conversation with her mate and scrolled through it whilst showing me the phone screen. She then awkwardly scrolled too far and I saw that she had seen screenshotted a photo of me and sent it to her friend, she was scrolled but I saw nasty words briefly but I pretended I didn't see it as it was mid meal and I just wanted to get through it. But what I don't get is why is she doing this whilst initiating plans etc with me?! And buying me gifts!!! I mean I get it might have been harmless banter or whatever but should I say something?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 28/05/2021 22:02

So she’s been nasty about you then what? Felt guilty and bought you an OTT present? I’d be calling her out on the message you saw.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 28/05/2021 22:03

I wouldn't bother, I would just pull away from her to be honest. If she asks why, then tell her.
Sorry OP that's really nasty of her.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 28/05/2021 22:03

Well yeah that's potentially exactly what she was doing! I didn't see what she said properly but it was something to do with slagging off the way I look? (I think)

OP posts:
CoffeeCakey · 28/05/2021 22:03

Urgh so Two-faced.

elsaesmeralda · 28/05/2021 22:06

But why did she ask you to look at this convo with her mate in the first place ? Surely she'd have realised before that there was potential you'd see what had been said Confused

Custardo · 28/05/2021 22:08

id have a face to face convo with her maybe facetime saying you saw the texts - and see what she says
it will be some bullshit excuse
keep your dignity - pull away, sever contact knowing that you called her out .
ill be honest with you though, an extremely close fiend of mine treated me rather cuntishly and i sent her a text! i told her why and then blocked her and havent spoken since - it was coming though

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 28/05/2021 22:08

Her friend had just had a baby so she was showing me photos, maybe she wanted me to see it or maybe she forget they were there. (We had had a few cocktails by this point)

OP posts:
Sssloou · 28/05/2021 22:09

Was she bitching about the other friend when she was showing you the WhatsApp conversation?

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 28/05/2021 22:11

No she was showing me photos of her friends baby that her friend had sent her. I don't know this other friend which is why it's even stranger she's showing her friend photos of me!? Why would she care about a a random girl she doesn't know (me) Confused

OP posts:
BreedingOinkers · 28/05/2021 22:12

What nasty words?

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 28/05/2021 22:13

When I got home I was kicking myself for not saying is that a photo of me? I'm a wimp!!

OP posts:
elsaesmeralda · 28/05/2021 22:13

That's strange you don't even know the other friend. I'd straight up ask her personally, why have you sent my picture to a random person ?

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 28/05/2021 22:13

I saw the word awful and some laughing emojis Sad

OP posts:
BreedingOinkers · 28/05/2021 22:17

@ivfbabymomma1

I saw the word awful and some laughing emojis Sad
ouch
acupofteamakeseverythingbetter · 28/05/2021 22:28

Ergh that's so horrible, I hope you're ok. I hope she feels really bad!!

CokeDrinker · 28/05/2021 22:29

I definitely would say something to her. I could never move past it, it will always be on my mind and it would eat me up. For my own sake, I would say something.

Freddiefox · 28/05/2021 22:44

We you have to ask her, or you will never know.. what’s app her and ask for a screen shot of the
Conversation.

Original poster
ivfbabymomma1 · 28/05/2021 22:59

Thank you for all your advice. It's definitely playing on my mind as this happened last week. I think I might have to say something and then back off (the guilt gift is still in the bag and will remain there until she wants it back lol)

OP posts:
LivingLaVidaCovid · 28/05/2021 23:08

I would ask and literally say what you saw as you have written here.

It is likely she is a bad friend.

But it could somehow weirdly not be something mean (for example i got a horrific bag as an xmas gift (comedically bad) I sent a snap of me with it to my bff. my friend fwds it to her sis who she already told about the bag saying "look this is it isnt it awful? 😂😂😂)

if you don't ask you'll be losing potentially a good friend and be doubting yourself.

bluebellforest · 30/05/2021 15:01

Did you say anything to your friend?

DrManhattan · 30/05/2021 15:15

I would have to say something.

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