Totally understandable
I'm similar but full disclosure I have ocd which was undiagnosed at that point in my life.
I lost 3 before dd and one was ectopic and required emergency surgery, upon which the endo i had long suspected was discovered and also required surgery due to scar tissue etc
Then I got pregnant with dd and it was far from a straightforward pregnancy culminating in pre-eclampsia and eventually an emcs, we were both genuinely lucky to make it out of the birth alive for different reasons. I have a rare condition that only presents in the first Labour but which means future pregnancies are highly likely to prove fatal to me.
Dd was full term but very poorly and was in scbu a while and I was kept in longer than most too.
She had multiple illnesses and puzzling injuries throughout babyhood and childhood, severe allergic reactions to things that aren't common allergens etc
My ocd went a bit nuts and I cleaned everything of hers daily and froze the soft toys etc
Health visitor had an inkling something was up with me but didn't pursue and completely dismissed my concerns about dd as being just me basically imagining it!
When dd was TWELVE after all those years of illnesses and injuries, febrile convulsions, hospital stays etc we FINALLY got a referral and as soon as we saw the specialist it was physically obvious to her what was wrong with dd
2 of the things she noticed had been present since birth and not one hcp had thought to consider there might be a reason especially when the full medical history was considered
Dds specialist was great but she is now away studying and having to battle new gp for a referral to get a new specialist and it's delaying her accessing certain support and treatments which is pissing me off!
I've also a number of friends and relatives who've had a difficult journey to parenthood with losses, fertility issues and even non Gynae issues causing obstacles eg one has a congenital heart condition which she was fine with just as a non parent adult but to be able to cope with pregnancy and potentially childbirth she needed surgeries and a lot of treatments and basically building her health up to get to a point where she could even ttc and also sadly a few who've lost babies and children after they were born, but I'm older and I know a lot of people due to being a military brat so not so odd that I seem to know a lot of people so affected.
Everyone's different, some seem to cope better than others - and yes I say seem as I can't know what goes on when they're alone. Others really struggle to keep going certainly in the initial aftermath and I've definitely witnessed other mums without ocd or other stuff going on but who've had difficulties becoming a mum or having more children after a loss and being very very aware of every raised temp, every rash etc
I think it IS normal in terms of that being a normal reaction to a trauma but that doesn't mean you need suffer in silence.
Get help if you can, gp is obvious starting point but many of the charities involved in this type of issue are incredibly helpful. I certainly got a lot of support from the miscarriage association and the endometriosis Uk and then later a charity relating to dds disability/condition. I've known others get great support from Tommy's, sands and others.
It's not easy and you won't heal quickly or even totally but you'll get to a point where it's manageable
Now I know more about dds condition and when I need to worry and when not to worry that's made things a bit easier.
Plus getting the ocd diagnosed and having some treatment for it helped a bit (I'm pretty bad at the moment but that's not to do with dd)
I wish you peace of mind as soon as possible op 