Why are people so ageist?

[malificent7]

So why is it ok to make comments about age when it is unacceptable to make comments about race, sex or gender? For example i've had the following comments;
In response to being on fb " im on insta instead as i'm not old."
In response to me asking younger colleague about career aims " I'm not both etc as i'm young ( unlike you)."
Am i over sensitive bit why is it ok to discuss age and not race?
Is it because aging something we fear? Having said that, older people are guilty of looking down on younger people hence the millenial/ boomer strife?

Why the need to hide our age , especially as women and why are older prople not celebrated as wise,? Having said that, I was touched by the respect given to Captain Tom Moore. I have also been guilty of agism and yet it is something that ALL humans face regardless of sex, creed or colour.

I discovered I became invisible at age 50. Im even more invisible now I have grey hair. I don't call anyone these stupid names like boomers, millennials or any other nonsense. People are people whether young, middle aged or old. I try to treat everyone the way Id like to be treated. A little civility and good manners goes a long way. I do have younger family members that get frustrated with me, but we sit down and talk about things. In general Ive always got on well with younger people, I find them interesting and they help me understand the changing world.

The same reason why they're ableist.

It started to really take off under Blair and just got worse ever since.

His government and all the ones since fetishised young and healthy - to the extent that fairly fascist views about the disabled (of all ages) and elderly seem fairly mainstream and entrenched in a lot of public policy.

Yet at the same time the government spends taxpayer money telling people not to smoke or eat junk food... because it might cut your life short...

I experienced age discrimination when I was young and starting out at work. I am now experiencing age discrimination in my fifties.
I am taken less seriously by people who do not know me, my opinion is taken less seriously and assumptions made like that I am bad with technology.
In the middle age-wise is fine.

Legally, race is a much more protected characteristic than age, OP. Age-based discrimination is legal in some situations. It's a complicated situation legally how the different protected characteristics are treated.

I'm not addressing moral high grounds because I don't know how opinion or free speech is supposed to be protected, too. ime, prejudice against teenagers in public places is very high while putting teen years on a pedestal (media, film) is very high. Humans are irrational !

I don’t think its the same as being racist as we will all experience most ages. I was thinking about this the other day. Every age group can be used as an insult. Don’t be a baby! Are you twelve? Acting like a teenager. For twenty somethings being told you’re like a thirty something would be an insult. Being called middle aged if you are thirty. Being called an old fart.
Perhaps no one eve gets told they are acting like a twenty year old !

Dd is mixed race so i'm not racist... that's not really how it works

I think you are right @malificent7
It's seem as funny to laugh about age by some younger people because they don't have any conception of how it might feel to become aware of one's body starting to age. How could they?

The point you made about sexism and racism is also true. Why are these things ok but ageism is not taken as seriously?

The thing that strikes me however, is that whilst a young white person is never going to know how it feels to be black, they are (if they are lucky enough) going to know how it feels to start ageing one day. Ha!

And to the people who think age discrimination doesn't exist & it doesn't compare to racism, things do not have to be exactly the same to be comparable. Some elderly people are very vulnerable. Of course ageism is a type of discrimination:

https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/work-learning/discrimination-rights/ageism/

We've been afraid of dying ever since we became conscious. There are clear signs of ageing. People attack those signs rather than confront their fears.

I seem to have been lucky - I am 72 (though don't look it as I still have my dark brown hair and have inherited by grandmother's no-wrinkles gene) and have not experienced this.

It is just not part of my life, and I belong to groups where there are different age groups.

@dudsville this could be what it's about.

Or perhaps when we are younger, before the first of our dearest and oldest friends have started dying of cancer, before our faces have started to show lines earned from years of fun, laughter & sun rays or our bodies become softer & start to ache in the mornings if we sleep too long, before we become invisible, perhaps we just. Don't. Get. It.

@Foxyloxy1plus1 I agree with you absolutely. I don't expect respect but a lack of good manners does grind my gears so thank you for keeping them going! I see on MN people who seem to hate the older generation, nor for who they are, but for what they have, as if owning a house and a decent pension makes them bad people but they're happy to take money from them and expect free childcare on tap. Maybe if we could treat each other with kindness regardless of age we'd all feel better

Absolutely @Daleksatemyshed 👏

Blimey this is quite a huge topic

I agree ageism is one of the last acceptable areas of discrimination (along with sizeism, arguably). I think it’s hard to compare any type of discrimination with another (sexism, racism) because it’s always like comparing apples and pears.

I think this country (perhaps all Western countries right now) is very set up for intergenerational strife, what with the division on the Brexit vote, vastly different experiences of the housing market, social mobility, pensions, sexism, racism etc

Overall we’d have far less of it if we were a more equal society. However I’d also agree that the 20th century was v much the century of youth, and youth worship is very embedded in popular culture (also because brands want to grab people when they are young). That is something that I do notice is very slowly changing (the rebranding of middle age as midlife for example) but I agree it’s slow.

We do need to start feeling more positive about being older, because we spend a lot of time being it, and as our population ages we are all going to have to contribute more as we get older. But right now there is a lot of agism which is why people hid their age.

Some of it is just slight hearted though. In my office the gen Zs have taken to greeting the millennials with Ok Boomer

Some of it is just slight hearted though. In my office the gen Zs have taken to greeting the millennials with Ok Boomer

How obnoxious.

I've heard more ageism from people over 60 towards younger than I've heard the other way around. That's probably just to do with who I know / speak to etc. But comments like

"He's far too young to be a dentist, I'm getting a second opinion from a proper one"

"Young parents now just don't know how to control their children"

"The under 50s won't bother getting the vaccine because they're selfish"

"All these youngsters having parties is why we're still in restrictions"

I could go on.

Some of it is just slight hearted though. In my office the gen Zs have taken to greeting the millennials with Ok Boomer

Yeah, I'm not sure id find that funny tbh. When I see people write it on social media it just makes them look thick. Thankfully I don't know anyone who'd say it in real life.

Ageism is alive and well. People reduced and belittled by being “a sweet old man/ lady” or “a fussy old woman” or “a creepy old man” etc.
How many IT managers are over 60 and respected as much as they would be at 40? And the opposite - I career changed in my 40’s, so have less experience, but visitors to our workplace look at me as more in authority and more knowledgeable than my 30-something colleague with 20 years of experience.

Mumsnet is disgustingly rife with ageism unfortunately.

Dripping with it.

I think it is the worst 'ism' on this board.

Well I wouldn't join an Asian dating app because I'm not Asian so there you go.

MN is definitely full of ageism. Anyone over 45 is deemed to be incapable of looking after a GC for more than an hour, to have any idea what the pressures of today are and most likely to be suffering the onset of dementia.

@LightMoon82

Not sure if it’s been mentioned as not read the full thread but in the US they’re so much less ageist. The Presidents for one but also like their news anchors are all much older

Eh? The youngest US President was Teddy Roosevelt at 42, the youngest British PM in modern time was David Cameron at 43. The eldest US President is Joe Biden at 78, the oldest British PM in modern time was Henry John Temple, who was 80. BBC News is the most watched news in the UK. It's anchored by Sophie Raworth (53), George Alagiah (65) and Fiona Bruce (57). The most watched news in the US is Fox News. It's anchored by Julie Banderas (46), Shannon Bream (50), Bill Hemmer (56), Jillian Mele (38) and Arthel Neville (58). So, in conclusion, no. The US Presidents and news anchors are not "all much older" than in the UK, in fact, they're (on average) younger. It's also beyond odd that your definition of "less ageist" is old people having all the important jobs.

Equalities Act 2010

Who is protected by the Equality Act?
Everyone in Britain is protected. This is because the Equality Act protects people against discrimination because of the protected characteristics that we all have. Under the Equality Act, there are nine protected characteristics:

age
disability
gender reassignment
marriage and civil partnership
pregnancy and maternity
race
religion or belief
sex
sexual orientation
There are some important differences depending on which protected characteristic you have.

Situations in which you are protected from discrimination
Under the Equality Act you are protected from discrimination:

when you are in the workplace
when you use public services like healthcare (for example, visiting your doctor or local hospital) or education (for example, at your school or college)
when you use businesses and other organisations that provide services and goods (like shops, restaurants, and cinemas)
when you use transport
when you join a club or association (for example, your local tennis club)
when you have contact with public bodies like your local council or government departments
How can you be discriminated against?
There are four main types of discrimination.

Direct discrimination
This means treating one person worse than another person because of a protected characteristic. For example, a promotion comes up at work. The employer believes that people’s memories get worse as they get older so doesn’t tell one of his older employees about it, because he thinks the employee wouldn’t be able to do the job.

Indirect discrimination
This can happen when an organisation puts a rule or a policy or a way of doing things in place which has a worse impact on someone with a protected characteristic than someone without one. For example a local authority is planning to redevelop some of its housing. It decides to hold consultation events in the evening. Many of the female residents complain that they cannot attend these meetings because of childcare responsibilities.

Harassment
This means people cannot treat you in a way that violates your dignity, or creates a hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment. For example a man with Down’s syndrome is visiting a pub with friends. The bar staff make derogatory and offensive comments about him, which upset and offend him.

Victimisation
This means people cannot treat you unfairly if you are taking action under the Equality Act (like making a complaint of discrimination), or if you are supporting someone else who is doing so. For example, an employee makes a complaint of sexual harassment at work and is dismissed as a consequence.

There's a big difference between having rights on paper, and if and how those rights are enforced or adhered to.