To just think I’ll do it all on my own f*** everyone else

[Notyourfirstrodeo]

AIBU to just not bother with anyone, and see who actually bothers with me? Has anyone else felt this way and done this?
I’m constantly trying to arrange things to do with friends and DCs just to get let down or people being flakey on me.
I’m not close to any of my family and I’m a single parent so often feel very isolated anyway. As a way of dealing with this I’m always reaching out to friends, helping them out etc and I really don’t feel it’s reciprocated.
I feel really alone and I don’t know if this is making me feel worse.
It’s half term school holidays now, I feel like we should go do our own thing just the 4 of us. Plan things for everyday so I’m not stuck for things to do and not have the stress of worrying about other people.
For context I have horrendous anxiety and often feel I can’t cope on my own and need someone else there for support or even just the company.
I feel it may give me a bit more confidence knowing that I can do these things on my own.
So, AIBU to just not bother trying to reach out to so called friends to go are just going to flake on me last minute and see who actually bothers trying to reach out to me?
Or is this incredibly selfish?

@DavidTheDog

How about doing the things with people who want to do them, rather than with your friends?

Eg if you want to go running, join a running club. Want to take the toddler swimming, go to a parent and toddler swim session. Want to go to the park cafe for cake, see if there’s something on Facebook or Meet Up (does that still exist?).

I think this is a great suggestion.

I did this and lost touch with 3 people I assumed were friends. It doesn’t feel nice but it’s better than always being the only one to organise anything.

@Lemmeout yeah I’m expecting this to happen.
It’s just a shame as I don’t have family, but I don’t want to hang on to people in my life if they are not meant to be

@gumball37 yeah I’m going to just be brave and do it. I worry about being lonely, but then it’s also lonely clinging onto people who aren’t meant to be in your life as well.
I found this with my ex, I was clinging onto him just for someone to be there but I felt so unloved and looking back I was so lonely.

Commit yourself to 3 outings just you and the DC. I think you'll surprise yourself with how confident you feel by the end. You'll be in your own content little bubble. Others can join if they want but you're just fine! I've had confidence issues from lockdown but once you get out there you soon realise you were just doubting yourself about something that will come naturally. You tell yourself you need others there just in case but you'll realise you don't 😊 just take the trip out as it comes and try not to preempt anything stressful happening, likelihood is it won't xx