How to deal with colleague?

[callmemaybee]

A new colleague arrived at my office (we’re not wfh) last month and tbh, management didn’t really tell her what to do so she needed a lot of help.

So I helped her out as best as I could, and she’s now stuck to me like glue! Work requires listening to recordings, zooms etc so I am talking and listening to my meetings with headphones on, but simultaneously this colleague keeps coming asking me questions or making small talk during calls! Changing my status to do it disturb doesn’t work as she just comes up to my desk.

It’s really disruptive. I have given my manager a heads up to give her a proper induction. She has now had one, but still constantly talks at me during work. I can’t even pop to the loo without her asking to come with me or asking where I’m going and why. During breaks and leaving work, I can’t even get a minute alone to make a private phone call as she follows me everywhere.

Am I being a bitch? If not, what can I do to stay civil but keep a distance? I’m really falling behind with my own tasks now.

Can't you reply sorry I'm busy. Please send me an email and I'll get back you you /will come to you when done /please swt a meeting. Or set a weekly meekly meeting to discuss anything? She sounds a bit bored and needs company rather than help

I think you have to gently take her aside and say you're happy to be a sounding board but its becoming a bit intrusive and she needs to respect your boundaries at work a bit more.

It sounds as if you've been more than patient with her and she needs to learn how to read a room a bit: you aren't doing her any favours by allowing this to continue.

I assume she's quite young: she may just need a bit more experience of office etiquette. But its not your job to be her office mother.

Maybe worth pressing your boss on this and saying its starting to impact on your ability to do your own job.

It’s weird because I’m early 20s and she’s about 30. She’s also worked in this company before and has more experience than me. I understood that she needed extra help when she started because management didn’t tell her what to do, but I can’t keep up that same level of intensive chat.

It’s like she just constantly wants inane chat throughout the day, regardless of me being on the phone? Whereas i prefer to get on with my work first and chat periodically i

You need to be firm now.

Tell her to not interrupt you while you are on a call or listening to a recording. When she follows you round it's ok to say this is not appropriate and I am uncomfortable with it. When you go to make a call, stop her and say this is a private call, please do not follow me.

You need to be very clear.

Make a sign that you can hold up when you're in a Zoom/Teams meeting so that she can see that you're in a Zoom/Teams meeting and make it VERY obvious that she is disturbing you.
Alternatively, (and you'd only probably only need to do this once or twice), while the meeting is ongoing, say "Sorry about this. I have to jump off the call for a minute. Please carry on without me" and say it quite loudly (if your joint manager is in earshot) so that he/she can hear that you've had to leave a meeting because of this new starter.
I'd think the sign would be a good start though. You can reach for it as you see her walking towards your desk.

Thank you all for the wonderful advice. You’re right, I need to nip this in the bud.

@LookItsMeAgain you have definitely experienced this before haven’t you? wonderful advice

Make and laminate a sign for your desk:

Working, please do not interrupt

On a call, do not interrupt.

I need some peace and quiet to concentrate

Too busy to chat

When she approaches to pester, silently point to the most appropriate line.
Don't speak, turn to her or make eye contact.

Ohhhhh tell me about it! I worked with a colleague and it was like working with a tannoy. Except that you can turn a tannoy off!

Loooong inane conversations about her personal life, pets, holidays etc when i was trying to work. No response to being told that I was trying to work. To get anything done I had to go over to the student drop in center (we worked in a uni as researchers) and any chance of getting any research done was nil.

After vainly trying to disengage myself I asked the line manager to intervene. She just kicked it into the long grass and nothing was done. So I began to concoct a paper trail.

Without going into detail I had a stress related breakdown and left with a big payout because the organization had failed t handle the situation. Fortunately it was my last job before retirement age.

I can’t even pop to the loo without her asking to come with me
This sounds like it's got mixed up with a thread about toddlers.
Honestly, the rest is irritating but this is really not normal. I'm not being funny but is she fully functioning? I'd tell your manager she's following you to the loo and it's bloody weird and please can they sort it out.

Hope these suggestions work for you OP.

I once had a girl new to our company latch into me a bit and at first it was ok but she would do things like approach me (in an open plan office) and start inappropriate talks like how she's really into BDSM! Now don't get me wrong, I've no issue with my friends having sex life talk, but at an appropriate time and place!
I echo PPs about being firm, and advising you're happy to help when she really needs it but you're feeling overwhelmed atm.

Sounds like my dh boss. It got to the point we had to have words

Thanks everyone.

Had work today and I’m still nowhere further away from her! Even on my lunch breaks she insists on coming with me so I can’t even go to Costa in peace. You know when you just feel all “talked out”?

Thanks for your advice though - I am slowly but surely distancing myself. I have told her to message me through teams when she started disturbing me today. She didn’t message me and did stop asking me things, so that’s a start!

@VeganCheesePlease that took an unexpected turn!!

@callmemaybee

Thanks everyone.

Had work today and I’m still nowhere further away from her! Even on my lunch breaks she insists on coming with me so I can’t even go to Costa in peace. You know when you just feel all “talked out”?

Thanks for your advice though - I am slowly but surely distancing myself. I have told her to message me through teams when she started disturbing me today. She didn’t message me and did stop asking me things, so that’s a start!

@VeganCheesePlease that took an unexpected turn!!

I'm glad to hear it's improving! When you talk all day with work, half an hour of me time and coffee is very important! Oh my goodness it was so awkward. Didn't know what to say!!