Given soooo many clothes - am I being unreasonable?!

[Sunnylands27]

I’m currently 35wks, being induced at 37 due to T1DM.
A friend of the family has very generously given us baby clothes.. however there’s literally tons of it and none of it, bar 1x cardigan and 2x leggings, are for less than 12mnths old.. now I know this will be controversial but I’ve spent days going through the lot and I can’t help but feel we’re just an excuse to get rid of the stuff they can’t find time to dispose of or donate - I mean do I seriously need to be thinking about 2-4yr old clothes right now?
We live in a tiny prefab 2 2bed house with no storage or loft and honestly besides the bits I’ve got for baby’s first year we’ve got no room for anything else, at all.. even the pram is in our bedroom!
I was so happy when they said they had ‘some’ bits for us as it’s quite exciting, like a surprise bag, and I was really grateful and know they would have had to get out all those bits and go through them.. However, I’m really exhausted and uncomfortable at the mo and having to now take bags and bags of clothes to charity shops and clothing bins for someone else’s child is a job I could really have done without!
So either I’m being an unreasonable moany B and need to have a word with myself OR I need to ask if they can stop giving us bits for ages >12mnths until baby’s a bit older or our living situation changes. But, then comes the question of how do you address this without sounding like an ungrateful cow?

How nice of them to give you clothes for your child.
Yabungrateful
If you don't want them just return them. Don't bitch about someone who has given you something they think you might want.

Yanbu there is a difference between dumping all your outgrown children's clothes on someone and giving them some nice stuff. Take what you want out of it, of any age then tell you you've taken the stuff you love, do they want it back or should you donate the rest.

Don't be afraid to be honest. Take the bits you like, and then ask them if they would like the older things back, saying as grateful as you are for her kindness, you really don't want to be taking up space for the other things. I would imagine they will probably be perfectly happy for you to give them to charity, but you've got a clear conscience that you've made the offer.

@Sunnylands27

I’m currently 35wks, being induced at 37 due to T1DM. A friend of the family has very generously given us baby clothes.. however there’s literally tons of it and none of it, bar 1x cardigan and 2x leggings, are for less than 12mnths old.. now I know this will be controversial but I’ve spent days going through the lot and I can’t help but feel we’re just an excuse to get rid of the stuff they can’t find time to dispose of or donate - I mean do I seriously need to be thinking about 2-4yr old clothes right now? We live in a tiny prefab 2 2bed house with no storage or loft and honestly besides the bits I’ve got for baby’s first year we’ve got no room for anything else, at all.. even the pram is in our bedroom! I was so happy when they said they had ‘some’ bits for us as it’s quite exciting, like a surprise bag, and I was really grateful and know they would have had to get out all those bits and go through them.. However, I’m really exhausted and uncomfortable at the mo and having to now take bags and bags of clothes to charity shops and clothing bins for someone else’s child is a job I could really have done without! So either I’m being an unreasonable moany B and need to have a word with myself OR I need to ask if they can stop giving us bits for ages >12mnths until baby’s a bit older or our living situation changes. But, then comes the question of how do you address this without sounding like an ungrateful cow?

Bag it up in to ages or categories and advertise it on facebook as collection only. I wouldn't feel bad about selling it and making money on it as they've dumped all their stuff on you.

My baby is 9 months old and I was in your shoes 9 months ago and felt like you . However, I'm grateful for all the clothes now, even if the intention was to dump them on us, as they grow so quickly and we won't have to go shopping for a long time to come.

You'll be gutted in a couple of years that you didn't keep it.

Depends on the state and how her child grows surely. We received tons of clothes with our first and I wished they hadn’t because a lot of it I wouldn’t have given to charity due to the state it was in. Said family members had just cleared their loft and gave us a bunch of their sons’ old clothes (their sons were close to ten!). They smelled horrendous and had been stored away for years. I recycled most of it! The stuff I did keep, I ended up giving most away because my children were not the same build (our sons are small and skinny, theirs were twice as big at the same age) and I didn’t want to waste space storing them for YEARS when someone could benefit for them right away.

Oh god, YANBU and I feel your pain. A friend of DP’s kindly offered us a few bits when I was pregnant.

It turned out to be an entire car full of mostly knackered clothes from baby to small child. We were in a top-floor flat and had nowhere to store them. It really did feel as if we were being used as a dumping ground. I could have cried.

I get this. A friend of my MIL is always passing stuff on to my three yo son. The last bin bag contained items that were age 9-10. She doesn't even ask if I want it; the next bag just appears every few months.

People do just use you as their personal charity shop.

If the clothes are in good nick and would be of use later, vacuum pack in small bundles according to age range to save space. Keep at the bottom of a wardrobe.

If that won’t work, explain that you don’t have the storage space, and ask if she will take it back.

Another option is to advertise on gumtree in the freebies category. Say each bag is a job lot and must be collected.

Someone gave me age 10 stuff for my 1 year old. Also received plenty of stained torn things. This is kind of normal really. Although quite a lot of stains washed out - think they were due to storage.
I would firstly ask if they want any of it back, then sort out any particularly nice things and get rid of the rest. I would try and hang onto some age 1-2 stuff at least, but probably not anything much older unless it's good quality coats or more expensive items. You can easily pick up second hand t shirts and leggings nearer the time.
I quite like the free stuff but in hindsight we just had far too much and most of it never got worn - i just gave away 2 huge binbags full of 0-6 months and still have about the same amount left.
If you can't be bothered to sort it out just say no thanks you don't need anything else. (Or you only need x y and z items).

Thanks everyone, this has really helped, going to have them round for a cuppa next week and can thank them but say we no longer need any more bits for now.. big girl pants going on!
Also, @Ratatattatpat thanks for your very helpful response, now some feedback for you - if you’ve got nothing constructive to say then a YABU will do.. ta!

I would keep some really nice bits (if any) into a shopping size bag and store if you really want to then donate the rest to a local social supermarket or local charity (mine gives the clothes free to families on a budget). That way nothing will be wasted and it will be going to needy people in the local area. Or you could stick it in any charity bin or shop, it will get used again. 3-4 years is not worth keeping right now only keep the next size up yearly.

Also, @Ratatattatpat thanks for your very helpful response, now some feedback for you - if you’ve got nothing constructive to say then a YABU will do.. ta!

I advised you to return them and not bitch about people who were trying to do you a favour. That's what I think. I didn't realise what a charmer you were or I wouldn't have interacted with you at all. 🤮