To think this is the result of covid restrictions?

[LockdownToddlers]

22 months old, scared of other children, overwhelmed in social situations, kicked out of childminders for crying and not settling, not settling in nursery so far either, struggles being away from the home setting, constantly asks for home whenever we're away, has fairly extreme separation anxiety from both me and dh.

Is anyone else noticing this? Is this the effect lockdown has had on young children? Childminder has operated for over 10 years and never had to give notice before. The nursery said in their 17 years they've never had someone not settle for extremely.

DS is 17 months old and we shielded throughout. He takes time to warm to people, but his older brother was exactly the same so it's hard to say. After a few visits, he's now okay with staying with his grandma. He did cry at first, but he has settled. DS cannot wait to get out of the house everyday and waves to strangers.

I think this is going to be one of those situations where the individual child will require whatever support they need to get to a better place. We could say it's due to the lockdowns, but not all children will be the same, and some are naturally more resistant to change/being away from main carer.

I have 2 sons, they are adults now, but both of them had separation anxiety. My first was just very quiet and wanted to play on his own. My second absolutely screamed virtually the whole time he was at nursery, despite him being a very confident child, very chatty and would happily play away from me, as long as I was in sight. I took them to all the usual play groups and play dates. But I think you are right that lockdown will not have helped at all.

Both my boys did settle, eventually, but the second took a really, really long time and just when it got better, there were holidays, so it was back to square one when he went back. The staff were very good and didn’t give up, despite having to virtually have one staff member with him all the time.

My ds is 17 months and has quite bad separation anxiety. Due to lockdown his only social interaction was with me and his 3 year old sister (my husband is a key worker so has worked throughout the pandemic and not been at home so much with ds). Ds cries the whole time when he's been at my parents and will only settle again once he sees me. I took him to his first playgroup about a month ago where he screamed for a full hour even when his sister was trying to engage him with toys. I did persevere though and he's slowly getting better, he now runs around playing but does not interact with other children at all. I've found that an hour is his limit at these things or he starts screaming again and wanting to he held.

Lockdown may have had some impact but in all honesty I don’t think what your describing is that far outside the realms of normal for a toddler/pre-schooler.

Threads on MN predating covid and lockdowns have popped up regularly with the same scenarios.

I would take the childminder and nursery assessments on board but with a pinch of salt. This is their job and they’re naturally not going to want to admit they can’t handle a child’s difficulties. My dd was much younger when she started with a childminder and took about six weeks to settle with lots of crying and being unsettled, I have no doubt she would have took roughly the same amount of time and amount of anxiety had she been older. She still has the same personality type.

Sounds perfectly normal, a minority of children behaved like that long before Covid came along. Obviously if suddenly there is a dramatic rise in the number of problem cases it might be lockdown-related, but the odd/anecdotal case is nothing unusual.

Sounds like severe separation anxiety. My middle child had that. She was also the one I’d spent most time with at home before having to go back to work; also had the most nursery setting changes due to work and house move. I’m sorry to hear your DC is so upset.

My eldest was like that in 2013.
Wouldnt settle in nursery. But to be fair i had several concerns about them.
Eg not changing dc nappy for a poop even though dc was on KW knee nor did they mention it. Tbh i think the kw was a bit lazy.
I took dc out. My dc was generally pretty difficult and hyperactive, wouldnt nap etc. They returned at 3yo and even though there were still some issues dc was more independent. So it was an issue of a bad mix of dc and nursery.

It may be the childminder doesnt like hrumpy kids and knows how long it takes to settle them. Tbh i would expect them to take the easier kids.

I once saw a childminder refuse to help a kids at the park actually use any of the equipment, again precovid.

There are kids who cry on the first day of pre-school or Reception so they 3 or 4 years old.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/babys-development/behaviour/separation-anxiety/

This suggests that it's perfectly normal until 4 years old.

My youngest has been really terrified of people this past year. Slowly getting better since last lockdown (no longer sobbing and flinging self into my arms if a stranger gets close) but it’s slow going.

It’s hard to tell for any individual child whether it’s lockdown-related or not, because some toddlers would have had these issues anyway, but it does seem like more toddlers are likely to than otherwise would given pandemic circumstances. My HV says that they’re seeing a lot more difficulties with speech and language and with socialisation, but is hopeful that for most kids this will be temporary.